How to get 82% WRONG and still pass...

[El Presidente]

So university qualifications ARE very important, but don't think for a second that (unless you are on a vocational degree course) the job you are going to get on leaving university has anything to do with the subject matter you studied. Unless you're REALLY lucky. Or unlucky.

The people who have the LEAST chance of qualifying as Chartered Accountants are graduates with a degree in.......accounting.


The best graduates from the best universities will be extremely well rewarded in the financial services sector in London. Starting salaries in the investment banks are about £40,000, with a £10,000 signing on fee and a chance of a 100% bonus at the end of it.

 

[Southover Street Seagull]

What a total load of bollocks. Your generation incessantly harping on about how much brighter everyone back in the 'good old days' really pisses me off. There is no way a 16-year-old in the 1960s would be able to survive my degree course, end of.

A sixteen year old now wouldn't either, I thought that unless you are very bright you start doing a degree at eighteen?

 

[dwayne]

...

The best graduates from the best universities will be extremely well rewarded in the financial services sector in London. Starting salaries in the investment banks are about £40,000, with a £10,000 signing on fee and a chance of a 100% bonus at the end of it.

starting associate salary after 2/3 years in the grad scheme yes (although a 100% bonus in 1st year is very unlikely).

I've known a few kiddies who have gone through the trading grad scheme at JPM to make £250k+ in their second year.

 

[Yorkie]

The people who have the LEAST chance of qualifying as Chartered Accountants are graduates with a degree in.......accounting.

My daughter got her degree in Mathematical Physics and is now a Chartered accountant.

 

[Questions]

Come on then, old fashioned geniuses, here's a bit of GCSE Geography for you...

Glacial Landscapes

(A) Study Figure 1, a cross section through a corrie (cirque) during glaciation

i) On figure 1, name the features shown at A and B.

(2 marks)



(ii) Using figure 1, explain how a corrie is formed. You may use diagrams to help you.


(4 marks)



(iii) Only one of the following statements is correct. Which is the correct statement?


A. Corries are only found in lowland areas of Britain.

B. Corries are mostly found on north facing slopes in upland areas of Britain.

C. The majority of corries are found in the south and east of Britain

(1 mark)



(iv) Name three leisure activities people do in areas of upland glacial scenery

(3 marks)



(V) What can be done to reduce the impact of humans in areas of upland glacial scenery

(4 marks)

Total - 14 marks

If you rotate the picture slightly to the right you can see its a womans tit.

Pass grade A

 

[Skint Gull]

You clearly have never met my wife's sister then.........

 

[Questions]

Electricians, Plumbers, Carpenters, Buliders, etc... All on over £20k by doing an apprenticeship (4 years of commitment on low money).

We need borstals back. Damn good plasterers came out of there with their diplomas.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I bet they get loads of kids these days answering exam papers in txt spk.

"Hitler h8d da Jewz cuz dey wuz mean n ugly so e sent em 2 consentra...conzent...places were der wuz no m8s n took der food n stuff e wuz wel evil 2dem!!an den dey woz ded n dat like 6mil of em!!which iz jus evil man"

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

it was VAGUELY funny the first time edna

 

[El Presidente]

My daughter got her degree in Mathematical Physics and is now a Chartered accountant.

Did she see the recent exam involving questions called

Hinshelwood Ltd
Melia plc
Gritt plc
Adams Ltd
McGhee plc

and a chairman of a company called Dick Knight?

I wonder who the examiner might support?

 

[London Calling]

just been looking at % pass marks for 5 GCSE's for the Country.

In Hull only 1 in 4 pupils got 5 GCSE's (including Maths and English)

In Sutton it was two-thirds!!!

 

[Zesh Rehman]

this is all bollocks, i got over half of my question right on my maths exam and only got a D, and that was with fairly decent coursework.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

it was VAGUELY funny the first time edna

ill second that BROTHER