[Help] How do you cope with Stress especially at work?

[neilbard]

 

[LamieRobertson]

Of course

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

I thought maybe Dunelms

 

[AmexRuislip]

I thought maybe Dunelms

 

[zeetha]

When I posted I wasn't exactly sure of what response I'd get so thank you all for your comments, suggestions and experience - some more interesting than others!

Thankfully my meeting went quite well and it turns out my boss is quite supportive of finding a solution and has come up with a few suggestions, including getting in a junior developer to work with me which will help with the workload and handling some of the first-line support. I'm also got a doctors appointment to talk about why I'm not dealing with the stress so well anymore.

I am trying to keep off the alcohol (not a big drinker anyway), and do try and get out most lunchtimes for a walk along the seafront as a way of getting away from the office which has helped a bit. I've always been one to worry about what might happen and that coupled with a few system problems at work that have rumbled on for weeks as partially outside of our control - not that our clients see it that way! - and being 'always on' in case I get an alert the system is down is why I think its got on top of me and affected my sleep and my health generally. I know the work we do isn't life or death, but knowing that and convincing my brain not to get stressed seem to be two different things! I've also not been making sure I was doing enough other things outside of work (i.e. hobbies!) meant that my days consisted of mainly working and vegging out in front of the TV which is not a good work-life balance after a few weeks (if that makes sense) but its a hard cycle to break...

Its going to take time to sort everything out, but at least starting to talk about it is helping.

Onwards and upwards as they say!

 

[The Clamp]

When I posted I wasn't exactly sure of what response I'd get so thank you all for your comments, suggestions and experience - some more interesting than others!

Thankfully my meeting went quite well and it turns out my boss is quite supportive of finding a solution and has come up with a few suggestions, including getting in a junior developer to work with me which will help with the workload and handling some of the first-line support. I'm also got a doctors appointment to talk about why I'm not dealing with the stress so well anymore.

I am trying to keep off the alcohol (not a big drinker anyway), and do try and get out most lunchtimes for a walk along the seafront as a way of getting away from the office which has helped a bit. I've always been one to worry about what might happen and that coupled with a few system problems at work that have rumbled on for weeks as partially outside of our control - not that our clients see it that way! - and being 'always on' in case I get an alert the system is down is why I think its got on top of me and affected my sleep and my health generally. I know the work we do isn't life or death, but knowing that and convincing my brain not to get stressed seem to be two different things! I've also not been making sure I was doing enough other things outside of work (i.e. hobbies!) meant that my days consisted of mainly working and vegging out in front of the TV which is not a good work-life balance after a few weeks (if that makes sense) but its a hard cycle to break...

Its going to take time to sort everything out, but at least starting to talk about it is helping.

Onwards and upwards as they say!

Good news and you sound proactive which is a boon in life. Nicely done.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Anyway, about that drink you seem to have forgotten about...

Not forgotten. Apologies. I'm a bit time-pressed at the moment......

 

[zeetha]

Good news and you sound proactive which is a boon in life. Nicely done.

Thanks, though not sure about the proactive bit - it has taken me at least 6 months to do something about all of this...

 

[Bold Seagull]

Thanks, though not sure about the proactive bit - it has taken me at least 6 months to do something about all of this...

I’m similar don’t know why suddenly in my mid40s I suffer anxiety and stress. Breathing techniques, yoga have really helped. Understanding your bodies physical/biochemical reactions to stress can help you combat it. Drinking plenty of water too, seems obvious easily overlooked.

 

[Bozza]

Thanks, though not sure about the proactive bit - it has taken me at least 6 months to do something about all of this...

It feels like exposing weakness if we put our hand up and admit we are struggling with something, and that is uncomfortable for many.

As difficult as it is to do that, and well done for making that first step, a problem shared generally is a problem halved. You have explained that you are doing your best but you are concerned that mistakes are likely, and you are worried about that.

The least best outcome from that is you have covered your arse. If something does go wrong then you can point back to this conversation with a "Remember when I said...?"

The best outcome is recognition that you are over-stretched which is not good for you, but also not good for the organisation, and changes can be made before something, or someone, breaks. That sounds like what you have achieved, so well done!

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Thanks, though not sure about the proactive bit - it has taken me at least 6 months to do something about all of this...

In a way they are the hardest problems to address. If you deal with something there and then it nips it in the bud. Problems that are 6 months old are much harder to raise. You lived with it for 6 months, You can leave it another day right? No-one else has an issue - It's been this way for a while. Before you know it, it's a year and even harder to bring up because it's the norm and another 6 months without proper sleep have passed.

I also read your above comment about your clients. I've have had some wonderful customers that have called me a Mike Hunt to my face and one who luzzed a phone - a big one as well - at me. There are some nasty pieces of work out there who love nothing better than a rant. My advice is to try not to take it personally. The 70s culture of shout, then shout louder is still out and about in some places and you just have to try an take the emotion out of the situation as it doesn't help. It did, however, take me about 15 years to learn that lesson. In my 20's some of those situations would have probably resulted in a fight.

 

[LamieRobertson]

When I posted I wasn't exactly sure of what response I'd get so thank you all for your comments, suggestions and experience - some more interesting than others!

Thankfully my meeting went quite well and it turns out my boss is quite supportive of finding a solution and has come up with a few suggestions, including getting in a junior developer to work with me which will help with the workload and handling some of the first-line support. I'm also got a doctors appointment to talk about why I'm not dealing with the stress so well anymore.

I am trying to keep off the alcohol (not a big drinker anyway), and do try and get out most lunchtimes for a walk along the seafront as a way of getting away from the office which has helped a bit. I've always been one to worry about what might happen and that coupled with a few system problems at work that have rumbled on for weeks as partially outside of our control - not that our clients see it that way! - and being 'always on' in case I get an alert the system is down is why I think its got on top of me and affected my sleep and my health generally. I know the work we do isn't life or death, but knowing that and convincing my brain not to get stressed seem to be two different things! I've also not been making sure I was doing enough other things outside of work (i.e. hobbies!) meant that my days consisted of mainly working and vegging out in front of the TV which is not a good work-life balance after a few weeks (if that makes sense) but its a hard cycle to break...

Its going to take time to sort everything out, but at least starting to talk about it is helping.

Onwards and upwards as they say!

Recognising it as a you have done is your first step...all the best!

PS the exercise thing always helped me...walks (some where you can interact with people in a non work way)....watching the tv whilst on an exercise bike at home...etc

 

[Whitley Bayster]

Tell me about it. Up until four years ago I co-owned a specialist sub-contracting construction company. At one point we had two contracts where we were overdue £800k by over 90 days. Coincidentally one of them was on the Tyne Tunnel for Bouygues. Our operatives used to stay in a hotel in Whitley Bay. The stress caused by these delays in payment, and others, was at times, unbearable, but I had to accept it as part and parcel of being in the construction industry.

It's hard to bear. This sector is rife with bigger companies using consultants and sub contractor to balance their cashflow. I'm sick of clients commissioning work and then finding that they don't have the funds in place to pay until construction funding is in place. I've started asking for an up front payment its the only way of reducing the risk. i hope your team had a lovely stay in the Bay! It used to be a real contractor haven with loads of B n Bs and a run of seedy bars! White vans everywhere you looked in one part of the town

 

[Weststander]

In a way they are the hardest problems to address. If you deal with something there and then it nips it in the bud. Problems that are 6 months old are much harder to raise. You lived with it for 6 months, You can leave it another day right? No-one else has an issue - It's been this way for a while. Before you know it, it's a year and even harder to bring up because it's the norm and another 6 months without proper sleep have passed.

I also read your above comment about your clients. I've have had some wonderful customers that have called me a Mike Hunt to my face and one who luzzed a phone - a big one as well - at me. There are some nasty pieces of work out there who love nothing better than a rant. My advice is to try not to take it personally. The 70s culture of shout, then shout louder is still out and about in some places and you just have to try an take the emotion out of the situation as it doesn't help. It did, however, take me about 15 years to learn that lesson. In my 20's some of those situations would have probably resulted in a fight.

I've come across a few of the aggressive types who almost violently rant against staff, suppliers, even clients who are slow to pay, and generally anyone that made their world not as they wanted it to be.

Each one an unhappy sole, beneath the bravado of macho boss. We just used to observe, then take the piss. No one was ever envious of their wealth, as it came at such a price for them.

 

[portlock seagull]

I've come across a few of the aggressive types who almost violently rant against staff, suppliers, even clients who are slow to pay, and generally anyone that made their world not as they wanted it to be.

Each one an unhappy sole, beneath the bravado of macho boss. We just used to observe, then take the piss. No one was ever envious of their wealth, as it came at such a price for them.

This is so true and I'm the same - wouldn't want to be plenty of 'high' achievers I've come across in my career. Especially the divorced, friendless, signed-off work with stress ones Same with celebrities, wouldn't want to be famous what so ever given the crap most have to contend with being in the public eye. It's why I sabotaged my trial for the Albion...

 

[Gritt23]

I make it a rule to always go out for a walk every day at lunchtime, and while out make sure you have a "thing" to do that is both unimportant (therefore completely stress-free) and yet occupies the mind as a distraction. Whether it's a Fitbit and you're aiming to get your steps your steps up as you walk, or a podcast playing, or a game of PokemonGo. Whatever you do, it becomes a habit, and it's a nice distraction habit, that is always there for you every day regardless of whatever is going on back in the office. You soon realise that no matter what happens through the working day, those guys on the Podcast are still there and you see the World is still turning.

Beyond that, I have been through some very stressful times at work in days gone by (and pretty hectic right now, actually) and what I try to always keep in mind is "I've done my very best today, I could do no more." Easier said than done, but it does make sense. None of us are perfect nor are we super human, we can only do our best ..... and you know what, if the worst does come to the worst, there are other jobs out there.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

When I posted I wasn't exactly sure of what response I'd get so thank you all for your comments, suggestions and experience - some more interesting than others!

Thankfully my meeting went quite well and it turns out my boss is quite supportive of finding a solution and has come up with a few suggestions, including getting in a junior developer to work with me which will help with the workload and handling some of the first-line support. I'm also got a doctors appointment to talk about why I'm not dealing with the stress so well anymore.

I am trying to keep off the alcohol (not a big drinker anyway), and do try and get out most lunchtimes for a walk along the seafront as a way of getting away from the office which has helped a bit. I've always been one to worry about what might happen and that coupled with a few system problems at work that have rumbled on for weeks as partially outside of our control - not that our clients see it that way! - and being 'always on' in case I get an alert the system is down is why I think its got on top of me and affected my sleep and my health generally. I know the work we do isn't life or death, but knowing that and convincing my brain not to get stressed seem to be two different things! I've also not been making sure I was doing enough other things outside of work (i.e. hobbies!) meant that my days consisted of mainly working and vegging out in front of the TV which is not a good work-life balance after a few weeks (if that makes sense) but its a hard cycle to break...

Its going to take time to sort everything out, but at least starting to talk about it is helping.

Onwards and upwards as they say!

I think the critical bit of your post is the 'always on' bit.

Somehow we've become enslaved by mobile phones and emails. Every place I ever worked in recent years made it mandatory to include your mobile number in your email signature. Add in the fact that you may be working on something in a team across multiple timezones PLUS you're expected to work on your train journey to and from work or fully participate in conference calls while you're driving round the M25. Oh, and any spare gap whatsoever in your Outlook calendar will be gobbled up by meetings.

You are completely correct that you are 'always on' apart from when you're asleep. It's completely normal that you should feel stressed, that's an absolutely human reaction.

Things you can do are to negate as many of these 'always on' impositions on your time and mental wellbeing. Block book at least 30 minutes in Outlook every day as 'private time'. Or lunch as we used to call it. Don't do work on the train, listen to music or read a book instead (the wretched train journey is quote stressful enough in its own right). Switch off your mobile out of office hours (some more enlightened nations actually have this right enshrined in law).

Basically seize back control over your time. Then let the company work around that. Or move company.

Wishing you the very best of luck.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

It's hard to bear. This sector is rife with bigger companies using consultants and sub contractor to balance their cashflow. I'm sick of clients commissioning work and then finding that they don't have the funds in place to pay until construction funding is in place. I've started asking for an up front payment its the only way of reducing the risk. i hope your team had a lovely stay in the Bay! It used to be a real contractor haven with loads of B n Bs and a run of seedy bars! White vans everywhere you looked in one part of the town

I used to stay in the Grand in Tynemouth

 

[pearl]

I think the critical bit of your post is the 'always on' bit.

Somehow we've become enslaved by mobile phones and emails. Every place I ever worked in recent years made it mandatory to include your mobile number in your email signature. Add in the fact that you may be working on something in a team across multiple timezones PLUS you're expected to work on your train journey to and from work or fully participate in conference calls while you're driving round the M25. Oh, and any spare gap whatsoever in your Outlook calendar will be gobbled up by meetings.

You are completely correct that you are 'always on' apart from when you're asleep. It's completely normal that you should feel stressed, that's an absolutely human reaction.

Things you can do are to negate as many of these 'always on' impositions on your time and mental wellbeing. Block book at least 30 minutes in Outlook every day as 'private time'. Or lunch as we used to call it. Don't do work on the train, listen to music or read a book instead (the wretched train journey is quote stressful enough in its own right). Switch off your mobile out of office hours (some more enlightened nations actually have this right enshrined in law).

Basically seize back control over your time. Then let the company work around that. Or move company.

Wishing you the very best of luck.

I think some people sort of fall into this and create their own stress situations. I've noticed it with emails, the time/day they were sent etc. .... totally unnecessary (where I work).

 

[dazzer6666]

I think the critical bit of your post is the 'always on' bit.

Somehow we've become enslaved by mobile phones and emails. Every place I ever worked in recent years made it mandatory to include your mobile number in your email signature. Add in the fact that you may be working on something in a team across multiple timezones PLUS you're expected to work on your train journey to and from work or fully participate in conference calls while you're driving round the M25. Oh, and any spare gap whatsoever in your Outlook calendar will be gobbled up by meetings.

You are completely correct that you are 'always on' apart from when you're asleep. It's completely normal that you should feel stressed, that's an absolutely human reaction.

Things you can do are to negate as many of these 'always on' impositions on your time and mental wellbeing. Block book at least 30 minutes in Outlook every day as 'private time'. Or lunch as we used to call it. Don't do work on the train, listen to music or read a book instead (the wretched train journey is quote stressful enough in its own right). Switch off your mobile out of office hours (some more enlightened nations actually have this right enshrined in law).

Basically seize back control over your time. Then let the company work around that. Or move company.

Wishing you the very best of luck.

All of this.......people create their own stress a lot of the time. Time management is often a huge contributor - none of us have enough.

Blank out chunks of your diary well in advance (the ‘availability’ check on outlook is a pain, people will steal your gaps), avoid back to back meetings, be brutal about whether you actually need to attend or not - or do you need to be there for the whole thing ? Make sure you escape your work environment for a part of every day - it’s the gym or a run for me but whatever helps you switch off/relax.

 

[Whitley Bayster]

I used to stay in the Grand in Tynemouth

Too right you are the boss! Bizarrely I’m currently designing a major extension to The Grand!