Now first of all let me get this straight ... I don't mind horses out in the American West where they should be, being ridden by cowboys .... BUT
What's the effing point of them in this country?
Where I live I'm bloody surrounded by them.
One of my pastimes is walking, mostly along footpaths in the countryside ... everywhere you walk, more horses.
Driving along roads and country lanes in Sussex ... what do you get stuck behind? Bloody horse boxes driving along at twelve miles an hour. Where the hell are they all going? If you've got to have a bloody horse leave it in a field, don't stuff it in a horse box and drive it around. I'm told they're not big on sightseeing.
And if it's not horses in horse boxes on the road it's bloody horse riders on the road. And if you don't slow down to about three mph to pass them they wave their fists at you.
And all the horse riders wandering around the lanes are female. All the top show-jumpers and just about all the jockeys are men. So why are there no boys trotting along the effing lanes?
And the cost of the bloody things ... the cost of the horse, the stable, the food, the horse box, the vets fees. There must be an awful lot of people in Sussex with a lot more money than sense. People who can afford all that stuff should be taxed to the hilt so my taxes can be reduced. Double the tax on horses, horse boxes, horse food, tack (or whatever they call the harness stuff) and anything else remotely connected with horses immediately.
The people in the house behind me have a square fenced off piece of ground (sand school?) where just about every day some bloody loser of a person rides this nag up and down, then diagonally, then up and down, then down and up, then diagonally, then up and down, then diagonally ... get the idea ... and it goes on and bloody on ... can there be a more boring way to spend your time? Sorry, I forgot, probably watching paint dry ... but it would be a close run thing.
Now they've applied for permission to have a "horse exerciser" erected. I had no idea what it was so I called the Planning Dept ... apparently it's like a hamster wheel on it's side. But electrically operated! So you put the bloody horses in this thing, turn on the switch, and they have to walk round and round in circles. So you've got a horse, right? Presumably because for some godforsaken reason you want to get up on the bloody thing's back and ride it? So then you buy a hamster wheel thingy so you don't have to ride your horse, but instead make it walk round and round and round and round in circles inside the thing so it gets exercise.
AM I MISSING SOMETHING
OK, rant over.
What's the effing point of them in this country?
Where I live I'm bloody surrounded by them.
One of my pastimes is walking, mostly along footpaths in the countryside ... everywhere you walk, more horses.
Driving along roads and country lanes in Sussex ... what do you get stuck behind? Bloody horse boxes driving along at twelve miles an hour. Where the hell are they all going? If you've got to have a bloody horse leave it in a field, don't stuff it in a horse box and drive it around. I'm told they're not big on sightseeing.
And if it's not horses in horse boxes on the road it's bloody horse riders on the road. And if you don't slow down to about three mph to pass them they wave their fists at you.
And all the horse riders wandering around the lanes are female. All the top show-jumpers and just about all the jockeys are men. So why are there no boys trotting along the effing lanes?
And the cost of the bloody things ... the cost of the horse, the stable, the food, the horse box, the vets fees. There must be an awful lot of people in Sussex with a lot more money than sense. People who can afford all that stuff should be taxed to the hilt so my taxes can be reduced. Double the tax on horses, horse boxes, horse food, tack (or whatever they call the harness stuff) and anything else remotely connected with horses immediately.
The people in the house behind me have a square fenced off piece of ground (sand school?) where just about every day some bloody loser of a person rides this nag up and down, then diagonally, then up and down, then down and up, then diagonally, then up and down, then diagonally ... get the idea ... and it goes on and bloody on ... can there be a more boring way to spend your time? Sorry, I forgot, probably watching paint dry ... but it would be a close run thing.
Now they've applied for permission to have a "horse exerciser" erected. I had no idea what it was so I called the Planning Dept ... apparently it's like a hamster wheel on it's side. But electrically operated! So you put the bloody horses in this thing, turn on the switch, and they have to walk round and round in circles. So you've got a horse, right? Presumably because for some godforsaken reason you want to get up on the bloody thing's back and ride it? So then you buy a hamster wheel thingy so you don't have to ride your horse, but instead make it walk round and round and round and round in circles inside the thing so it gets exercise.
AM I MISSING SOMETHING
OK, rant over.
