[Other Sport] Here they come, get ready for the roar!!

[Durlston]

Brilliant stuff. Future champ if she can keep on the straight and narrow. Awesome.

Fantastic story. What an opening to the tournament. Today At Wimbledon should be amazing tonight.

And fair play to Venus who was very gracious at the end unlike her sister, Serena, who would shout, scream and swear at the umpire.

 

[KZNSeagull]

Fantastic story. What an opening to the tournament. Today At Wimbledon should be amazing tonight.

And fair play to Venus who was very gracious at the end unlike her sister, Serena, who would shout, scream and swear at the umpire.

She seems like a really nice kid considering all the expectation upon her. I just hope that it stays that way. On that subject, Naomi Osaka seems shot to me - seems to be struggling to handle the pressure. I hope that they both get good help and advice and avoid the vultures that are no doubt circling.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Tennis. Pah.

Dull game followed by middle class divvies.

Just a minor irritation until the football starts again.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Not sure whether you or the erudite [MENTION=5076]Bevendean Hillbilly[/MENTION] deserve this year's inaugural annual Hunter S Thompson /slash/ John Giorno award for pungent prose. Tell you what, have one each. In case you are unfamiliar with the great men's works (I am guessing not), I give you:

HST: “There are times, however, and this is one of them when even being right feels wrong. What do you say, for instance, about a generation that has been taught that rain is poison and sex is death? If making love might be fatal and if a cool spring breeze on any summer afternoon can turn a crystal blue lake into a puddle of black poison right in front of your eyes, there is not much left except TV and relentless ************. It’s a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.”

JG "I'd swim through a mile of shit just to suck the **** of the last man who ****** her".



ps apologies to Crodo for derailing his delightful thread.

HWT. That’s TWICE you’ve hailed me in the last month (after putting me on your ignore list) now I don’t know what to make of you.

I’m a big fan of Easy 10 AND Hunter S Thompson. I suspect though tha, after a pint of Mescaline and a quart of Ketamine, Hunter would still make sense...Easy....I’m not so sure. Perhaps THIS should be in the rules of your proposed awards?

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Love Wimbledon, it is so English and there are always some great games. Knocks spots off all the other Grand Slam tournaments for me. Tennis should be played on grass, end of imo. Far more respectful crowd too.

Call me old fashioned (I am) but I love how everyone has to play in whites too.

Oh dear I could be in trouble here but it's only opinions.
I can't stand the starchiness of Wimbledon.
I totally agree with Easy 10 on that side of things but the all whites, the line judges all togged up with ties on, every year the same members of the forces stand in exactly the same place, the ball boys and girls are not allowed to put a single foot wrong standing to attention before luzzing the balls around.
There always seems to be a few Hattie Jacques in Carry on camping on court in her curtain like pleated white skirt.
Same old royal strolls out to chat some bollox to a few ball boys and girls whilst sucking on a mint in front of that table with the flag on it.
Wimbledon is too stiff, and still in the 1930's in general, it makes me cringe that we can't move forward and relax a bit.
Snobby golf club mentality that needs to relax a bit and drag itself into the 21st century ( except the roofs on Centre Court and No 1)
It needs another streaker to climb up onto the umpires chair and rub her knockers into his face or a male streaker to whack his todger into the face of a lady umpire.
And I see the BBC are now calling the men's matches the gentlemen's matches FFS.
Rant over.

 

[Easy 10]

Not sure whether you or the erudite [MENTION=5076]Bevendean Hillbilly[/MENTION] deserve this year's inaugural annual Hunter S Thompson /slash/ John Giorno award for pungent prose. Tell you what, have one each. In case you are unfamiliar with the great men's works (I am guessing not), I give you:

HST: “There are times, however, and this is one of them when even being right feels wrong. What do you say, for instance, about a generation that has been taught that rain is poison and sex is death? If making love might be fatal and if a cool spring breeze on any summer afternoon can turn a crystal blue lake into a puddle of black poison right in front of your eyes, there is not much left except TV and relentless ************. It’s a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.”

JG "I'd swim through a mile of shit just to suck the **** of the last man who ****** her".



ps apologies to Crodo for derailing his delightful thread.

There's some cracking prose there, and frankly I'm honoured to be mentioned in the same breath as such illustrious wordsmiths.

I'm reminded of the time some years ago when Nicholas Witchell was caught on mic one Sunday morning on the BBC, during a live outdoor broadcast of the Royal Horseguards Parade, quietly observing that "I'd happily nail my bulbous flaccid purple bellend to a corgi with a brass mallet for half a pint of Sarah Ferguson's bath water".

Different times.

 

[Easy 10]

But back to the tennis. I had no idea of this match between Venus and Cori Gauff until I sat down in front of it and flicked it on after getting home from work. Its not very often you see a sporting event where you can say - "wow - this is the start of something amazing", but today I did. Venus is obviously well past her best now. But for a 15 year old girl to arrive on centre court for the first time, on a world stage in a major, and show the poise, composure, mentality, plus the sheer power, technique and accuracy against a true legend and 5 times champion...incredible. I was excited when she held her serve to win ONE game, but then as the first set unfolded, you could see she really is something special. And she was only 15 in March. This is a child, beating a champion in straight sets.

Whatever else happens, Wimbledon already has its story this year.

 

[LlcoolJ]

View attachment 112228

The lovely, luscious Latvian lady, Jelena Ostapenko with big boobs.

She's due on at around 6pm. Hoping for a good Wimbledon for her.

For a tennis player perhaps. But it seems that your idea of big boobs and mine are somewhat different.....

(and I really love big tits btw, but only nice ones, I'm not a philistine)

[emoji23]

 

[LlcoolJ]

There's some cracking prose there, and frankly I'm honoured to be mentioned in the same breath as such illustrious wordsmiths.

I'm reminded of the time some years ago when Nicholas Witchell was caught on mic one Sunday morning on the BBC, during a live outdoor broadcast of the Royal Horseguards Parade, quietly observing that "I'd happily nail my bulbous flaccid purple bellend to a corgi with a brass mallet for half a pint of Sarah Ferguson's bath water".

Different times.

Not sure that was the correct quote Easy. Maybe the sanitised version. Witchell always was, and apparently is still, pure filth.

I heard that he only took the Royal correspondent job on the offchance of a teabagging / felching session or three with Edward.

All hearsay of course but the anger in his eyes when Ed got married was palpable. If you can have palpable eye anger. Not sure that's a thing, but wanting to be a filthy bitch with a prince clearly is.

You get taught that as a kid. Nick was probably a big Cinderella fan.


(From a libel point of view I'd just like to point out that this is all nonsense, thanks).

 

[PTC Gull]

Gauff grew up in Atlanta but now lives in Florida. Needless to say the local media are all over the “local girl does good” story. Mind you it’s about time the Williams brothers started getting some of their own medicine, in the tennis sense of course.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Not sure that was the correct quote Easy. Maybe the sanitised version. Witchell always was, and apparently is still, pure filth.

I heard that he only took the Royal correspondent job on the offchance of a teabagging / felching session or three with Edward.

All hearsay of course but the anger in his eyes when Ed got married was palpable. If you can have palpable eye anger. Not sure that's a thing, but wanting to be a filthy bitch with a prince clearly is.

You get taught that as a kid. Nick was probably a big Cinderella fan.


(From a libel point of view I'd just like to point out that this is all nonsense, thanks).

Didn’t Nicholas Witchell used to do outside reports for south today?

I certainly used to see the ginger midget with a TV crew outside the courts on Edward Street.

 

[el punal]

Oh dear I could be in trouble here but it's only opinions.
I can't stand the starchiness of Wimbledon.
I totally agree with Easy 10 on that side of things but the all whites, the line judges all togged up with ties on, every year the same members of the forces stand in exactly the same place, the ball boys and girls are not allowed to put a single foot wrong standing to attention before luzzing the balls around.
There always seems to be a few Hattie Jacques in Carry on camping on court in her curtain like pleated white skirt.
Same old royal strolls out to chat some bollox to a few ball boys and girls whilst sucking on a mint in front of that table with the flag on it.
Wimbledon is too stiff, and still in the 1930's in general, it makes me cringe that we can't move forward and relax a bit.
Snobby golf club mentality that needs to relax a bit and drag itself into the 21st century ( except the roofs on Centre Court and No 1)
It needs another streaker to climb up onto the umpires chair and rub her knockers into his face or a male streaker to whack his todger into the face of a lady umpire.
And I see the BBC are now calling the men's matches the gentlemen's matches FFS.
Rant over.

I love to read a good rant, me! This is a good ‘un. I, too, find Wimbledon to be so f***ing twee. Not the tennis, apart from the orgasmic grunts and squeals, which can be pretty exciting at times, but the peripheral things. I give you the jingoistic tw*ts wearing Union Jack hats, shirts etc. all shouting “Come on Timmy!” when he’s down 0-6, 0-6, 0-5. Or, let’s see what’s happening on Henman Hill - and everyone starts doing jazz hands and other such shit when the cameras are on them. Or, every year you will see flower pot woman. Yes, some middle aged darling, who is a member at Little Prick tennis club, with her honorary members ticket for Centre Court. Always, but always, in camera line sitting there with a hat that should have daffodils growing out of it.

New balls please! I going to lie down for a bit.

 

[Medwayseagull]

I love to read a good rant, me! This is a good ‘un. I, too, find Wimbledon to be so f***ing twee. Not the tennis, apart from the orgasmic grunts and squeals, which can be pretty exciting at times, but the peripheral things. I give you the jingoistic tw*ts wearing Union Jack hats, shirts etc. all shouting “Come on Timmy!” when he’s down 0-6, 0-6, 0-5. Or, let’s see what’s happening on Henman Hill - and everyone starts doing jazz hands and other such shit when the cameras are on them. Or, every year you will see flower pot woman. Yes, some middle aged darling, who is a member at Little Prick tennis club, with her honorary members ticket for Centre Court. Always, but always, in camera line sitting there with a hat that should have daffodils growing out of it.

New balls please! I going to lie down for a bit.

The naming of " Henman hill " is totally cringeworthy in remembering a player who achieved absolutely nothing of any note.

 

[KZNSeagull]

Everyone's favourite Brit, Johanna Konta, is through to round 2.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

What's up with the grass on pitch 1.
It looks like a cuffing cow field and we are only 2 days in.
Memories of The Baseball Ground spring to mind.

 

[Easy 10]

With all the money washing around within the LTA and the millions they cream off from this annual jamborie, its nothing short of a national embarrassment that England has failed to produce a single tennis player of any note since Virginia Wade and Fred Perry. We've had to nick a scotch in order to feign some national interest these last few years, and now he's shot to bits what are we left with ?

I can say with absolute confidence that no english man or woman will ever win Wimbledon, or a major, in my lifetime. I'm not counting Konta either, she was Australian till a couple of years ago. As usual, we'll just be sucking up our annual routine national humiliation as our players are wiped all over the courts and sent packing almost exclusively within the first week.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Everyone's favourite Brit, Johanna Konta, is through to round 2.

Henmans Hill, Murrays mound, Kontas... ?

 

[Driver8]

Henmans Hill, Murrays mound, Kontas... ?

Copse?

 

[Icy Gull]

I never tire of listening to Boris Becker talking, his use of English is bloody amazing. He keeps coming out with expressions that are so quintessentially English.

 

[Surf's Up]

Oh dear I could be in trouble here but it's only opinions.
I can't stand the starchiness of Wimbledon.
I totally agree with Easy 10 on that side of things but the all whites, the line judges all togged up with ties on, every year the same members of the forces stand in exactly the same place, the ball boys and girls are not allowed to put a single foot wrong standing to attention before luzzing the balls around.
There always seems to be a few Hattie Jacques in Carry on camping on court in her curtain like pleated white skirt.
Same old royal strolls out to chat some bollox to a few ball boys and girls whilst sucking on a mint in front of that table with the flag on it.
Wimbledon is too stiff, and still in the 1930's in general, it makes me cringe that we can't move forward and relax a bit.
Snobby golf club mentality that needs to relax a bit and drag itself into the 21st century ( except the roofs on Centre Court and No 1)
It needs another streaker to climb up onto the umpires chair and rub her knockers into his face or a male streaker to whack his todger into the face of a lady umpire.
And I see the BBC are now calling the men's matches the gentlemen's matches FFS.
Rant over.

Well ranted - I agree with everything you said, its a load of toffee nosed bollox.