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[Misc] Having a pet put down and the guilt that follows



Frankie

Put him in the curry
May 23, 2016
4,383
Mid west Wales
i had to get proper pissed to bury our labrador in the front garden , we have to bury them deep here to stop foxes digging them up so i dug a hole about 6 ft ( sand , easy digging) deep in our front garden under the jacaranda tree where he used to sit , we did it in the dark , as a family , me mrs , 2 kids, all with head lights on ....as we were putting him in the hole wrapped up in a blanket with a beanie on his head to keep the dirt out of his eyes , the ranger turned up because some nosy fecker had reported suspicious activity .

well our sombre mood soon turned to antiestablishmentary rhetoric as we explained to the nosey twatt that we were burying our dog , he tried to tell us we weren't allowed to , he got told to FRO and it galvanised our family unit in a most unusual way , we often talk about it as we went from really gutted to lose him to being really angry because some twatt in a uniform was coming into our garden and telling us what we could and couldn't do , thankfully both my kids respect but do not fear authority now.
clyde is still there and he now has a lovely spread of arum lillies marking his resting place .
i will get another dog when i retire but hopefully it will outlive me because they die its horrible ......xx
Move to Wales I've already got a spot in mind for the hubby,as your actually allowed to bury your by marriage partner in the garden,my last Dog now lays in peace beside her favourite Pine tree,I often just wander out there and have a one way chat to her, it's lovely being able to do that.
 




sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,965
town full of eejits
Move to Wales I've already got a spot in mind for the hubby,as your actually allowed to bury your by marriage partner in the garden,my last Dog now lays in peace beside her favourite Pine tree,I often just wander out there and have a one way chat to her, it's lovely being able to do that.
a dog and 2 cats in our garden ....i do say hello to them quietly every now and then ...:smile:
 


lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
NSC Patron
Jun 11, 2011
14,082
Worthing
This thread.

I always read it with tears in my eyes.


One of the cats we’ve had over the years was Smokie, a beautiful grey boy. We rescued him from a lady who had got too ill look after him properly.

A couple of houses away had a fishpond with large Koi Carp. Smokie would sit and watch them, nothing else, just watch.
The man of the couple had had a go at me cos of Smokie, said his fish cost stupid money to buy and he didn’t want them to be Smokies dinner.
I said, he only watches them, had he ever seen Smokie try and catch any, he hadn’t and his Missus told Mrs LLF, the cat just sat there for hours when the old man was at work watching the fish.
Anyway, the husband got more and more obsessed with our cat , and would shout at him and scare him off whenever he saw him.

After about 3 months of this, Smokie came home one afternoon dragging his tail, feeling very sorry for himself, and, later we noticed he was leaking urine all the time.

We took him to the vet, who x-rayed him, and told us he had a broken spine, probably caused by being hit with a stick.
We had to have the poor cat put down.
I did confront the neighbour who denied hitting the cat, and unfortunately I had no proof , but, I knew he had.

The couple moved house about 6 months later, taking their fish with them. I did hear later that a heron had found a way through the cover on the pond and had several of the very expensive carp away.

I can confirm, I have never owned a Heron.
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
25,513
Worthing
Move to Wales I've already got a spot in mind for the hubby,as your actually allowed to bury your by marriage partner in the garden,my last Dog now lays in peace beside her favourite Pine tree,I often just wander out there and have a one way chat to her, it's lovely being able to do that.
It’s better than having a chat with your hubby……… I’ve tried enough Frankie.
 


Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,552
In the field
This thread.

I always read it with tears in my eyes.


One of the cats we’ve had over the years was Smokie, a beautiful grey boy. We rescued him from a lady who had got too ill look after him properly.

A couple of houses away had a fishpond with large Koi Carp. Smokie would sit and watch them, nothing else, just watch.
The man of the couple had had a go at me cos of Smokie, said his fish cost stupid money to buy and he didn’t want them to be Smokies dinner.
I said, he only watches them, had he ever seen Smokie try and catch any, he hadn’t and his Missus told Mrs LLF, the cat just sat there for hours when the old man was at work watching the fish.
Anyway, the husband got more and more obsessed with our cat , and would shout at him and scare him off whenever he saw him.

After about 3 months of this, Smokie came home one afternoon dragging his tail, feeling very sorry for himself, and, later we noticed he was leaking urine all the time.

We took him to the vet, who x-rayed him, and told us he had a broken spine, probably caused by being hit with a stick.
We had to have the poor cat put down.
I did confront the neighbour who denied hitting the cat, and unfortunately I had no proof , but, I knew he had.

The couple moved house about 6 months later, taking their fish with them. I did hear later that a heron had found a way through the cover on the pond and had several of the very expensive carp away.

I can confirm, I have never owned a Heron.

That's awful. I'd have had to try very hard not to hit the bloke with a massive stick.
 








herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,656
Still in Brighton
I've got a 10 yo rescue cat, love her to bits. I'll be gutted when she goes as she is family. I'll bury her outside myself when the time comes. In my humble opinion if you have a pet you have to accept that they will go before you and if that's too painful then should you really have one? It's the way it needs to be (I don't agree with having a pet that you expect to out live you unless you've arranged further care). No offence to anyone, just my opinion, you can have another
 






Weststander

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2011
69,327
Withdean area
This thread.

I always read it with tears in my eyes.


One of the cats we’ve had over the years was Smokie, a beautiful grey boy. We rescued him from a lady who had got too ill look after him properly.

A couple of houses away had a fishpond with large Koi Carp. Smokie would sit and watch them, nothing else, just watch.
The man of the couple had had a go at me cos of Smokie, said his fish cost stupid money to buy and he didn’t want them to be Smokies dinner.
I said, he only watches them, had he ever seen Smokie try and catch any, he hadn’t and his Missus told Mrs LLF, the cat just sat there for hours when the old man was at work watching the fish.
Anyway, the husband got more and more obsessed with our cat , and would shout at him and scare him off whenever he saw him.

After about 3 months of this, Smokie came home one afternoon dragging his tail, feeling very sorry for himself, and, later we noticed he was leaking urine all the time.

We took him to the vet, who x-rayed him, and told us he had a broken spine, probably caused by being hit with a stick.
We had to have the poor cat put down.
I did confront the neighbour who denied hitting the cat, and unfortunately I had no proof , but, I knew he had.

The couple moved house about 6 months later, taking their fish with them. I did hear later that a heron had found a way through the cover on the pond and had several of the very expensive carp away.

I can confirm, I have never owned a Heron.

Fkn hell, that neighbour was an evil cnt.
 








Algernon

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2012
3,193
Newmarket.
..as we were putting him in the hole wrapped up in a blanket with a beanie on his head to keep the dirt out of his eyes ,
Ffs I hadn't planned on having tears in my eyes this evening, but that's just so hard hitting and lovely to a sensitive soul like me.

I've two cats, Coco and Kitty buried in the back garden and don't know how I'll feel if I have to move house anytime and leave them behind.
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,635
Hurst Green
a dog and 2 cats in our garden ....i do say hello to them quietly every now and then ...:smile:
I have a large tub on the patio with a beautiful Acer in it. There's the ashes of two horses, three dogs, two cats all surrounded by a ring of my late wife's ashes. When I walk past I get two nahs, three barks, two meows and moaned at.
 




lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
NSC Patron
Jun 11, 2011
14,082
Worthing
This afternoon we had to have our handsome boy Oscar put down.

A quite beautiful long haired black and white cat.

Kidney disease did for him, it was only going to get worse, so, we bit the bullet and made the heartbreaking decision. 14 years old, so a good life and probably the most spoiled cat in Christendom.

I really missed him tonight, waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs to go up to bed.
That’s it for Mrs LLF and myself, no more pets, it’s too upsetting when they have to leave you.

Sleep well Oskie, my handsome boy.
 


Algernon

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2012
3,193
Newmarket.
This afternoon we had to have our handsome boy Oscar put down.

A quite beautiful long haired black and white cat.

Kidney disease did for him, it was only going to get worse, so, we bit the bullet and made the heartbreaking decision. 14 years old, so a good life and probably the most spoiled cat in Christendom.

I really missed him tonight, waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs to go up to bed.
That’s it for Mrs LLF and myself, no more pets, it’s too upsetting when they have to leave you.

Sleep well Oskie, my handsome boy.
Sorry to hear this.
Yes it hurts.
Sleep well Oskie.
 


Ooh it’s a corner

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2016
5,552
Nr. Coventry
This afternoon we had to have our handsome boy Oscar put down.

A quite beautiful long haired black and white cat.

Kidney disease did for him, it was only going to get worse, so, we bit the bullet and made the heartbreaking decision. 14 years old, so a good life and probably the most spoiled cat in Christendom.

I really missed him tonight, waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs to go up to bed.
That’s it for Mrs LLF and myself, no more pets, it’s too upsetting when they have to leave you.

Sleep well Oskie, my handsome boy.
I know the feeling only too well(dogs in my case). My wife usually says never again, I agree, and a month later she’s got another one for us!

Sounds like you all had a great life together - and you deffo did the right thing for him - love the memories, they’ll always be there
 






Zeberdi

“Vorsprung durch Technik”
NSC Patron
Oct 20, 2022
6,941
Dear all, I thought I'd ask the great and good of NSC if they had any advice on coming to terms with losing a pet (in my case a 14 year-old Staffy)

My Obi was a Battersea rescue and was 9 years old when he adopted us. It has been such a joy to have him in our lives an all has been well until about 10 days ago when he started leaving traces of blood on his blanket (when licking his paw or chewing a treat) Obi had lost a few damaged teeth that he had broken in the past so I put it down to gum problems. On Friday we took him to the vet only to find there was a growth in the roof of his mouth. Blood tests showed his liver enzymes were high too. We were told to take him back on Monday morning to have the growth (or as much of it as possible) removed for biopsy which we did at 8.30am. At around 11 o'clock my missus took a call and I knew it wasn't good news. There were tumours in Obi's lungs and something showed up on the ultrasound of his tummy. He was still under sedation. The vet asked did we want to continue with the tests. You can imagine the state the pair of us were in - I blubbed to the vet that we didn't want Our Boy suffering and did she think it best (for him) to just let him slip away quietly. She replied that in her opinion that at Obi's age his little body likely wouldn't have been up to all the stress of operations and treatments on that amount of issues. She said that, if we wanted, she would let him go (Obi's favourite nurse was there with him) and to give it an hour before going down to see him to say our goodbyes. We did this, he was laid out under a blanket and looked so peaceful.

But after a couple of days I'm still wracked with guilt - he was still his jolly old self, eating well and still wanting to go up the park (albeit he wasn't one for running about chasing other dogs) My missus is away and I'm faced with an empty house - it's horrible. Not for one second did I ever imagine I wasn't bring my boy home on Monday night. Am I being selfish? A silly old fool?
It’s been just over 5 years for you now - it took at least that for me to stop having painful and guilty flashbacks to having my dog put down - it still really upsets me even now to dwell on it too much.

It doesn’t matter how many people tell you that you did the right thing (and you did), it doesn’t take away the guilt that some people feel - I had it really bad and lost it, ended up bubbling to someone after several pints of beer that “I killed my dog” .

I never got another one - I was the go to dog carer/sitter for my Sister’s dogs for many years, saved one if them with intensive 24hr nursing care when it was younger when he was critically ill - lost Kipper, the next dog, just before Christmas - my Sister had the vet round and they Euthanised her on her blanket under the kitchen table. I had my dog put to sleep on my bed by an emergency vet at 3.00am in the morning so it was a bit sureal..

Despite the subsequent feelings of grief and guilt, you just know at the time, deep down in your heart, is the right thing to do (anyone who loves their pet, couldn’t make that decision if it wasn’t) and that’s what I held on to in the following months.

I think losing my cat was almost as bad - I was at Uni and Mum came and picked me up to take my cat to the vets - she was 13 years old - my Mum found her under a bush on Hollingbury golf course as a tiny kitten and I took her in - it was a prearranged appointment - she had kidney disease and had fitted several times - he’d given me a week to prepare. Mum drove me home while I held my dead cat on my lap and we buried her in my garden. The apple tree I planted to commemorate her life was nearly 8 ft tall when I sold the property. I still have her Kitten and adult collars - a little red leather one and a black leather one with diamente studs, both with bells.
 




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