[Misc] Having a pet put down and the guilt that follows

[keaton]

Been a week and a half since our black cat Monkey died after 16 years. I've had to make the choice to put one down before which was terrible but with Monkey we came home to find him dead looking very comfortable in an alley. I think I'd rather have had to make the choice and had a chance to say goodbye. We are now looking at rehoming another desperate case, which is being hampered by my 4 year old wanting the black boy we saw last weekend so we can pretend he's Monkey.

 

[Questions]

Been a week and a half since our black cat Monkey died after 16 years. I've had to make the choice to put one down before which was terrible but with Monkey we came home to find him dead looking very comfortable in an alley. I think I'd rather have had to make the choice and had a chance to say goodbye. We are now looking at rehoming another desperate case, which is being hampered by my 4 year old wanting the black boy we saw last weekend so we can pretend he's Monkey.

You can’t make out a black boy is a monkey.

 

[Zeberdi]

You can’t make out a black boy is a monkey.

No because that would put a racist connotation on it wouldn’t it? Or was that intended by your post?

 

[goldstone]

When I was a kid on the farm, if a pet was ill it was put down. No massive vets bills for who knows what kind of treatments. No pet insurance. The fact is, pets are animals. If you can't handle the death of a pet then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

 

[rippleman]

When I was a kid on the farm, if a pet was ill it was put down. No massive vets bills for who knows what kind of treatments. No pet insurance. The fact is, pets are animals. If you can't handle the death of a pet then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

What a complete and total arse you are. I would hate to be like you; totally devoid of compassion and feeling. It must be a terribly lonely life.

 

[Perfidious Albion]

That’s a bit harsh, goldstone… I have never got emotional about our cats but I could see and feel for my wife when the time came to put them down. The sense of bereavement at their death and the great pleasure she derived from them was something I never experienced.
People have feelings, that’s a fact and pets give warmth and comfort back . It is only natural to mourn their passing.

 

[Questions]

Having pets put down is one of the hardest things you can do in my opinion. The guilt subsides when it dawns on you that is was the right and only thing you could have done.

 

[Zeberdi]

When I was a kid on the farm, if a pet was ill it was put down. No massive vets bills for who knows what kind of treatments. No pet insurance. The fact is, pets are animals. If you can't handle the death of a pet then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

I know - Pets on farms are treated like farm stock - if it’s injured or sick, it’s often the case for farmers that it is more cost effective to put it down than keep it alive and pay vet bills - children learn that very young - I spent a lot of time on farms and at horse stables growing up - if you love animals there’s a lot of contradictions in that environment.

Harsh realities of agriculture living - even now, I work with people who herd sheep - they name the lambs, hand rear some of them then show me pics on their phones - then a few months later are shipping them off to the knackers. The whole relationship to animals including pets ( boundaries between pet and farm animals are often blurred) are much harsher in rural environments.

This isn’t the thread though to air such attitudes - it’s upsetting and comes across as callous to do so - people here have a very different relationship to their pets and deeply mourn the loss of them.

.

 

[Brian Fantana]

When I was a kid on the farm, if a pet was ill it was put down. No massive vets bills for who knows what kind of treatments. No pet insurance. The fact is, pets are animals. If you can't handle the death of a pet then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

Please f*** off away from this thread.

 

[phoenix]

Please f*** off away from this thread.

Exactly we need sympathy and understanding. People are hurting, we should be respectful. My case is a little Sad in a way , but the reason i won't get a dog or cat is it will probably outlive me and i worry about the after i'm gone bit. But i could do with a bit of loving from a little friend.

 

[Si Gull]

We had to say goodbye to our 16 year old cat last month. We took him in when he was abandoned as a kitten, when we lived in Spain. He survived major trauma after being hit by a car, when he was 7, and had a severe limp after that. He was a real character; black, small but solid muscle (in his prime), totally cross-eyed, and would pick a fight with anything that moved, other than people; he loved people.

He had kidney disease but was a fighter to the end - nothing would keep him from his food. It felt awful having to make the final decision for him, always thinking 'what if he rallies and gets better'?

We've always rescued stray cats so have seen many come and go, but losing this guy really hurt.

To make things worse, his 4 year old housemate was run over and killed last week. He had no need to go near a road, but he was a wanderer. We're going to have a break from cats for a while but I'm sure another one will steal our hearts before too long.

 

[bluenitsuj]

When I was a kid on the farm, if a pet was ill it was put down. No massive vets bills for who knows what kind of treatments. No pet insurance. The fact is, pets are animals. If you can't handle the death of a pet then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

Most pathetic and stupid post of the year.

 

[lawros left foot]

So sorry @lawros left foot to you guys. Oscar was so lucky to have you and vice versa.

Never say never, there’s a rescue cat who might fancy your luxury cat lodgings, one day.

x

It never felt like he was lodging with us, more like he let us stay in his house, let us sit on his settee and sleep in his bed. And of course, let us feed him.

 

[lawros left foot]

When I was a kid on the farm, if a pet was ill it was put down. No massive vets bills for who knows what kind of treatments. No pet insurance. The fact is, pets are animals. If you can't handle the death of a pet then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

My Dad worked on the farms for 30 years, we had working dogs as pets for all of those years. My Dad was old school, the only time I ever saw him cry was when my Nan( his Mum) died and when a much loved dog, Shadow was run down and killed by a car.

We also had a dog when I was about 4 so, over 60 years ago, who got into the chicken farm over the fields. It killed a lot of chickens. My Dad gave the local gamekeeper 10 Bob to take the dog into the woods with his 12 bore. The dog never came back. I remember my Dad being upset by this as well.

Just the way it was done then.

 

[Silverhatch]

Made the decision to ease the considerable suffering of three wonderful dogs over the past 40 years. Only wish the same choice had been available to ease the considerable suffering of three human family members.

 

[Questions]

Having pets put down is one of the hardest things you can do in my opinion. The guilt subsides when it dawns on you that is was the right and only thing you could have done.

I subscribe to an assisted dying group so I broke the guilt quite early.

 

[bluenitsuj]

Taken from the Golden Retriever club.

Old Dogs Dont Die


Old dogs don't die; they can't. They've merely run up ahead; they're waiting for us just out of sight. Close your eyes late at night and you may smell his musky odor, or perhaps hear his snuffle from the next room.

Pay attention and you may feel his nose on your hand or the back of your calf. When your final day comes, you can go on to meet him; he's never left you and never will, and when you close your eyes for the last time, you'll open them again to be met with his Bright eyes and wagging tail.

Old dogs don't die, at least, not those dogs who take the biggest chunks of our hearts with them when they leave us. Those dogs are inextricably part of our souls, and they go with us wherever we are. Though we may not see them, we know they're there because our heart is still beating; we still breathe, and those of us who have been truly touched by a good dog know our lives really started the day we met them.

Magnificent dogs don't die. They shepherd our dreams and only allow the good ones through the gates of our consciousness. They watch over us much as they did in life, and that moment when we step just barely outside of death or disaster, it's because they moved our feet or they stopped short in front of us as they did in life.

You see, a good dog is something only given to a few people. They are a gift from the universe and, though they're with us only a short time, they never really leave us. They are loyalty and love perfected, and once we are graced with that sort of love we can never lose it. We merely lose sight of it for a time, and that is our fault; for how can love like that ever go away?

It can't. It can't, and it never will. For these brave souls trade their hearts for ours, and they beat together beyond sickness, beyond death. They are ours, and we are theirs, for every sunrise and every sunset, until the sun blazes its last and we once again join the stars.

By Leigh Curtis,
K9 Companion Dog Training
Port Jervis, NY

 

[Greg Bobkin]

I've just read this thread and wanted to say thank you to (nearly) all the contributors for making me feel a bit better tonight.

We had to take Bruno (just under five years old) the cockerpoo to be put to sleep today and I'm in bits because while I know it was completely the right thing to do, I still feel awful.

He broke his back a couple of years ago and we made the decision to go for surgery, partly because he was so young we figured he deserved another chance. He made a decent recovery, but we were warned at the time it could/would happen again. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks recently and was showing a lot of the symptoms he had before and just after his surgery. We knew that something serious was going on. He also had extreme resource guarding issues, which meant caring for him was tougher than for a 'normal' dog and we always had to be on our guard.

We'd said we wouldn't put him through anything else - and he looked at us today at times as if to say 'please help me', so I know we did the right thing (and the vet agreed, having read his history), but that doesn't stop the guilt.

I'll really miss him - and I was the only one of us five Bobkins who didn't actually WANT a dog. But he won me around, became my running buddy and his main partner for walks. Never again - I'm not going through all that again!

 

[theboybilly]

What a complete and total arse you are. I would hate to be like you; totally devoid of compassion and feeling. It must be a terribly lonely life.

You can just imagine how those pets were 'put down' too. What a ****

 

[Zeberdi]

I've just read this thread and wanted to say thank you to (nearly) all the contributors for making me feel a bit better tonight.

We had to take Bruno (just under five years old) the cockerpoo to be put to sleep today and I'm in bits because while I know it was completely the right thing to do, I still feel awful.

He broke his back a couple of years ago and we made the decision to go for surgery, partly because he was so young we figured he deserved another chance. He made a decent recovery, but we were warned at the time it could/would happen again. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks recently and was showing a lot of the symptoms he had before and just after his surgery. We knew that something serious was going on. He also had extreme resource guarding issues, which meant caring for him was tougher than for a 'normal' dog and we always had to be on our guard.

We'd said we wouldn't put him through anything else - and he looked at us today at times as if to say 'please help me', so I know we did the right thing (and the vet agreed, having read his history), but that doesn't stop the guilt.

I'll really miss him - and I was the only one of us five Bobkins who didn't actually WANT a dog. But he won me around, became my running buddy and his main partner for walks. Never again - I'm not going through all that again!

So sorry Greg - absolutely gutted for you

Knowing it is the right decision to let them go doesn’t make it any easier.

Be kind to yourself, you have lost a dear friend today - that will take some coming to terms with.