[Misc] Having a pet put down and the guilt that follows

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bluenitsuj

Listen to me!!!
Feb 26, 2011
4,739
Willingdon
Mate, feel for you and your grief but if you keep punishing yourself you will be doing a dis service to Megan. She was your best friend and loyal companion. You loved her and she loved you back. Don’t let your grief stand in the way of all those happy memories. Go for a quiet walk and have a chat with her. Tell her how much you loved her and still do, and how much you miss her. She might just say something back!!
15 is a grand old age and you should celebrate it.
I know you are right. I always talk to her every day.
 




Son of PC Bins

New member
Dec 22, 2011
8
We had to have our 15yr cat put to sleep on Monday after multiple visits to the vets and various tests over the preceding 2 weeks. On Sunday, post the last visit, I was still hoping for a miracle but he stopped eating during that day (couldn’t even face tuna which was unheard of).

I knew the time had come when I was stood in the garden at 1am with him being sick. Taking him to the vets for the final time was the hardest thing I have ever done. We got him when we moved into our current home and my daughter had grown up with him. He was so attached to her, that we used to say he was her Daeman (for those familiar with His Dark Materials). So many happy memomories.

The only comfort I take is that ordinarily he hated visiting the vets, to the extent that we always had to dope him up with medication beforehand. However on Monday, not only did he just let me put him in the pet carrier, he actually purred! Purred FFS! It was like he knew the pain was about to be taken away and was telling us it was OK.

Stop incredibly sad about it though. The yearning to have him ‘back’ has still not yet passed The amount of crap he heard me tell him over the years… the beauty of pets is they that they listen and don’t judge!
 


Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,877
Our springer has had to be put to sleep today, he was 15 suffering bad arthritis in his rear legs, they kept collapsing he was totally deaf and for a few months had become incontinent in the house.

Hardest decision we had to make.

The feeling of guilt is enormous.
But he could not run around or enjoy all the things he used to enjoy.

Sleep well Tenby….
View attachment 176012
What a lovely photo. What a lovely dog he must have been. All the very best swindon old chap, you must be devastated. :(
 


Insel affe

HellBilly
Feb 23, 2009
24,350
Brighton factually.....
We had to put our cat to sleep just after last Christmas last year, she had cancer and absolutely hated the vets with a passion. We tried to minimise the visits which sadly we could do because she was 16 and after the initial diagnosis we knew it was incurable. It was an easy decision really, the painful and agonising thing was knowing when to make that call, in her last few days we could see her going down hill and made that call for a home visit to put her to sleep, taking the stress out of her final hours of taking her to the vets on a one way trip.
Madison had been with us as I say 16 years and was initially a house cat living in a flat in Camden and when we moved to Brighton with a garden, she never went out unless we did and slept with our daughter most nights, what struck me the most about saying goodbye was how strong our daughter was, stroking her telling her she is ok, all the time the injection was taking effect, it was heart breaking, but filled me with pride seeing how my daughter coped, we have her ashes in a little shrine on the fireplace, we all miss her deeply, pets are awesome, better than humans.

Having said that, I am a little sleep deprived due to being duped into getting two kittens for Christmas, Sonny & Buddy are right tearaways
 
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PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,636
Hurst Green
My Springer, Ruby, has just had her 14th birthday. She is now deaf and beginning to stiffen up after a walk. She sleeps most of the time. She was definitely my late wife's dog. Being that she couldn't work due to illness Ruby had her around all the time. When my wife died which Ruby witnessed, she attached herself to me, following me everywhere.

She has always been nervous so crowds etc aren't good for her, therefore I do have to leave her which she hates. She has recently started to wee indoors when I'm out. It appears she does it just as I'm back so almost excitement but unable to contain herself. This is worrying me as it shows she is probably getting less control. I know that the day will come, hopefully not for a while, that she will make that last trip, it upsets me to even think about it.
IMG_6158.jpg

She loves water
 


Frankie

Put him in the curry
May 23, 2016
4,383
Mid west Wales
I have had to put down 3 dogs in my lifetime and without doubt the hardest thing about afterwards was the final look that they give you before they go to sleep for the last time,it just never leaves my thoughts,what are they thinking? Do they know? What have I done? Life carry's on and you just get on with it,but when you do remember that last look almost instantly you remember all the fun and good times you had with them.
 






Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
We had to put our cat to sleep just after last Christmas last year, she had cancer and absolutely hated the vets with a passion. We tried to minimise the visits which sadly we could do because she was 16 and after the initial diagnosis we knew it was incurable. It was an easy decision really, the painful and agonising thing was knowing when to make that call, in her last few days we could see her going down hill and made that call for a home visit to put her to sleep, taking the stress out of her final hours of taking her to the vets on a one way trip.
Madison had been with us as I say 16 years and was initially a house cat living in a flat in Camden and when we moved to Brighton with a garden, she never went out unless we did and slept with our daughter most nights, what struck me the most about saying goodbye was how strong our daughter was, stroking her telling her she is ok, all the time the injection was taking effect, it was heart breaking, but filled me with pride seeing how my daughter coped, we have her ashes in a little shrine on the fireplace, we all miss her deeply, pets are awesome, better than humans.

Having said that, I am a little sleep deprived due to being duped into getting two kittens for Christmas, Sonny & Buddy are right tearaways
We've lived in this house for 20 years now, and one cat came with us, so her remains were buried in the garden. Two further cats have their ashes in the garden with specific plants so I can now enjoy the plants knowing the cats remains are 'feeding' the plants.
 


US Seagull

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
4,665
Cleveland, OH
I came across this in my YouTube recommendations and thought it was on theme for this thread. Kinda illustrates how much our pets can mean to us

 


The Grockle

Formally Croydon Seagull
Sep 26, 2008
5,765
Dorset
As others have said, often it's the fairest thing to do particularly if it prevents unnecessary suffering. I feel like there are occasions that owners delay it for their own selfish reasons.

I think its an important to remind yourself the fantastic life you give your pets and how much love that annimal felt. Sadly many are treated incredibly badly in other countries.

I was chatting to a guy in the pub who had a terrier type dog with a damaged tail, I asked how it happened. Turned out the guy worked as a contractor in Qatar and when he was out there he stopped a group of young kids who were torturing the poor thing. He told authorities and took the dog for treatment, apparently its very common out there and not taken seriously at all. His wife was so heartbroken she helped rescue a few dogs and send them back to the UK at huge cost. This dog came back when they returned and was the happiest little thing.
 
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Fignon's Ponytail

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2012
4,478
On the Beach
We had pets for over thirty years. End of life is something we decided we're not putting ourselves through anymore and for nine years we've kept to it. Many a time we've nearly changed our minds, but the sadness and emptiness is too much to do again
My parents were the same. Had to put down their dog when I was just 5 years old, and they vowed never to go through it again. Im 50 this year & they've still never had another dog.
 


thedonkeycentrehalf

Moved back to wear the gloves (again)
Jul 7, 2003
9,356
I deliberately avoided opening this thread for a few days as I knew it would bring back the sadness of having our dog put down the summer before last. Like many of you, it was the best thing to do for him but that doesn't make it any easier.

As a few others have said, having been through that a couple of times we have decided not to get another pet for a few years...although our resolve may break at some point.
 






Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,552
In the field
My two dogs are 11 and 10, and I'm already dreading the time when it comes. I'm not sure I could really cope with being there at the end, if it requires them to be put down, but I also know that I'll absolutely get over that and be there for them as it is the least they deserve.
 


GJN1

Well-known member
Nov 4, 2014
1,551
Brighton
My two dogs are 11 and 10, and I'm already dreading the time when it comes. I'm not sure I could really cope with being there at the end, if it requires them to be put down, but I also know that I'll absolutely get over that and be there for them as it is the least they deserve.
Yeah, I get that. Mine are nearly 13 and 3 and I wonder what the younger one will be like when the older one goes. He loves her.
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,636
Hurst Green
Yeah, I get that. Mine are nearly 13 and 3 and I wonder what the younger one will be like when the older one goes. He loves her.
I used to have a border collie and when she was about 8 we got a white lab boy puppy. She looked at us as we introduced this large ball of fluff, almost thanking us for bringing her, her baby. She mothered him, even started producing milk. He was more than happy with the attention and the constant cleaning of his face. They were always with each other. When Tess got to the ripe old age of 16 the day arrived she made her last visit to the vets. Max took months before he stopped looking for her and crying.
 
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GJN1

Well-known member
Nov 4, 2014
1,551
Brighton
I used to have a border collie and when she was about 8 we got a white lab boy puppy. She looked at us as we introduced this large ball of fluff, almost thanking us for bringing her, her baby. She mothered him, even started producing milk. He was more than happy with the attention and the constant cleaning of his face. They were always with each other. When Tess got to the ripe of age of 16 the day arrived she made her last visit to the vets. Max took months before he stopped looking for her and crying.
Man, that's heartbreaking.
 




sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,965
town full of eejits
i had to get proper pissed to bury our labrador in the front garden , we have to bury them deep here to stop foxes digging them up so i dug a hole about 6 ft ( sand , easy digging) deep in our front garden under the jacaranda tree where he used to sit , we did it in the dark , as a family , me mrs , 2 kids, all with head lights on ....as we were putting him in the hole wrapped up in a blanket with a beanie on his head to keep the dirt out of his eyes , the ranger turned up because some nosy fecker had reported suspicious activity .

well our sombre mood soon turned to antiestablishmentary rhetoric as we explained to the nosey twatt that we were burying our dog , he tried to tell us we weren't allowed to , he got told to FRO and it galvanised our family unit in a most unusual way , we often talk about it as we went from really gutted to lose him to being really angry because some twatt in a uniform was coming into our garden and telling us what we could and couldn't do , thankfully both my kids respect but do not fear authority now.
clyde is still there and he now has a lovely spread of arum lillies marking his resting place .
i will get another dog when i retire but hopefully it will outlive me because they die its horrible ......xx
 
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sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,965
town full of eejits
I used to have a border collie and when she was about 8 we got a white lab boy puppy. She looked at us as we introduced this large ball of fluff, almost thanking us for bringing her, her baby. She mothered him, even started producing milk. He was more than happy with the attention and the constant cleaning of his face. They were always with each other. When Tess got to the ripe of age of 16 the day arrived she made her last visit to the vets. Max took months before he stopped looking for her and crying.
ouch.
 


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