Have you ever wet yourself?

[pastafarian]

Many moons ago my old man had too many beers in Antwerp on a night off from work. He proceeded to piss through some letterboxes, knock on the door and politely ask how far he had got. This resulted in a night in the cells......prob deserved, but scientific pioneers should always be celebrated.

 

[pastafarian]

couple of xmasses ago having slept on the sofa after a party i decided to take my wife a cup of tea in bed to test the water........i jumped in the pool and wrapped a towel round me , made her a cuppa and walked up the hallway ....as i got to the bedside table i thought i felt a fart coming on but unfortunately it was a tad more serious...as i bent over to put her tea down on the table a jet propelled stream of pooh squirted out from under my towel and hit the carpet with a slap.....she was really not impressed in the slightest....!

Did she drink the tea or let it go to waste?

 

[sydney]

Did she drink the tea or let it go to waste?

she's a nurse.....take more than a bit of shit to put her off her tea...

 

[Paris]

Many moons ago my old man had too many beers in Antwerp on a night off from work. He proceeded to piss through some letterboxes, knock on the door and politely ask how far he had got. This resulted in a night in the cells......prob deserved, but scientific pioneers should always be celebrated.

What a twerp!

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Many moons ago my old man had too many beers in Antwerp on a night off from work. He proceeded to piss through some letterboxes, knock on the door and politely ask how far he had got. This resulted in a night in the cells......prob deserved, but scientific pioneers should always be celebrated.

Lucky it wasn't my letterbox, it would have snapped shut and trapped his todger in it, even the postman struggles to put the mail through so your Dad's knob would have been a peice of cake.

 

[leelee]

...not since my sixth form days.

 

[Tiptoe through the NSC]

While recovering from a radical prostatectomy, I chose to watch an episode of "This Country". Nuff said.

 

[The Clamp]

Yes. Shit my grunders in The Hamptons pub one Sunday afternoon too while trying to drink through a particularly epic hangover. I jumped in a cab which was luckily passing, not a great spot for cabs and put everything in the wash and showered.
The girlfriend at the time had got them to bag up my roast dinner and she brought it home for me. I was sat in the couch in my pyjamas watching The Last Crusade. Was quite a nice evening.
Happy times. Those days don’t come back.

 

[mothy]

Lots of people wetting & shitting themselves at the moment. Started with Brexit & haven't stopped

 

[kevo]

Had a party in my house. Friend was completely out of it and wanted to crash out, so I lent him my bed, while I carried on partying and eventually crashed out on the sofa. When I woke up, everyone had left.

I then discovered a note on the kitchen table from my friend. It simply said: "Sorry for the terrible thing".

I wondered what it could mean and concluded something must have happened last night that I'd completely forgotten about.

Anyway, I badly needed some proper sleep. So I went to my bedroom and climbed into bed. And then, with a sinking feeling of horror, I realised the sheets were soaking wet...

 

[Mo Gosfield]

Every day, I'm afraid, legacy of the Big C in the lower regions. Nothing I can do, other than put absorbent towels in my pants to try and catch most of it. Bit degrading for someone in their 60's but you get used to it.
( Many years ago was drinking with a group of friends in a pub. Suddenly, one of them said...' Oh Christ '....and ran straight to the toilet. A short while later, he reappeared, carrying his underpants with outstretched arm. ' Too late ' he said, as he passed us. We watched, as he walked outside and flung his soiled pants over the pub wall and straight into a neighbouring garden. He came back in, picked up his pint and resumed drinking as if nothing had happened )

 

[peterward]

Yep.

And got away with it.

Went on a ski-ing lads holiday in 2002. But rooms were twin so sharing with one mate, went out one night and got totally handbagged, mixing pints and loads of various shots. Don't even remember getting back.

Wake up early hours in cold wet pool and that sinking feeling, 'oh shit'..... mate was sparko, knew I'd be ribbed to bits if the lads found out, so I got towel, put it on that area, rolled on edge of bed, then during breakfast found the hotel manager, apologised profusely and told him I'd fallen asleep with a bottle of water on the bed (sure he saw through that), and offered €50 for the damage. He didn't take the money and when we got back from the very hung over days ski-ing mattress was changed and none of the others were any the wiser.

 

[zefarelly]

Lots of people wetting & shitting themselves at the moment. Started with Brexit & haven't stopped

The shit hasn't hit the fan for most yet either.

 

[OzMike]

Nope.