Once, a good few years back now. We were going to the funeral of an old aunt of my wife's and I had a light grey suit on (black tie, though!). We were just about to leave home and I thought I'd better have a final quick toilet visit before departing. However, the bladder was barely full and as I strained to release what little was in there, I somehow managed to squirt it all down my leg - resulting in a dark grey streak down as far as my knee. My good lady was hugely unimpressed as I revealed my disaster and we had to delay our departure whilst I went off for a wardrobe change!! Most embarrassing. 
I have however, once seen someone have a full release in their trousers. I have previously mentioned that many years ago in my younger days I was a police officer in London. Dealing with the drunks could often result in having to handle somebody who'd suffered a 'loss of control' of varying descriptions and that was always a bit messy and unpleasant. However, as an officer yourself, access to toilets could be quite tricky at times on duty and several amusing incidents took place during desperate panicky moments.
But not long after we'd left training college, all the new recruits had to go to a sort of welcome to the criminal justice system type of event at the magistrates court. About twenty of us attended, in full uniform, and spent hours one morning sitting in the courtroom being spoken to at length by various magistrates and dignitaries. Just when we were thinking the event was finally coming to a close, an elderly chap who was something like the Lord Lieutenant of Middlesex (it was a long, long time ago!) arrived and warbled on and on and on.
The event was far too pompous to be disturbed by exiting the room but suddenly there was some discreet but obvious consternation where we were all sitting and it very quickly became apparent that not only was the regaled and robed old chap in full flow with his speech, but one of our intake was also flowing voluminously ... into his uniform trousers!! The event had gone on for so long that the unfortunate lad hadn't been able to last out and with no means of exiting the room, he simply couldn't wait and torrentially wet himself sitting on a wooden bench.
Never have a pair of pants been wetted so spectacularly. And around 19 other pairs came close too I suspect, through the laughter that erupted outside when we finally escaped. Memorable and side-splitting for weeks, months and years afterwards, but probably also mortifying for the poor young copper, too!
I have however, once seen someone have a full release in their trousers. I have previously mentioned that many years ago in my younger days I was a police officer in London. Dealing with the drunks could often result in having to handle somebody who'd suffered a 'loss of control' of varying descriptions and that was always a bit messy and unpleasant. However, as an officer yourself, access to toilets could be quite tricky at times on duty and several amusing incidents took place during desperate panicky moments.
But not long after we'd left training college, all the new recruits had to go to a sort of welcome to the criminal justice system type of event at the magistrates court. About twenty of us attended, in full uniform, and spent hours one morning sitting in the courtroom being spoken to at length by various magistrates and dignitaries. Just when we were thinking the event was finally coming to a close, an elderly chap who was something like the Lord Lieutenant of Middlesex (it was a long, long time ago!) arrived and warbled on and on and on.
The event was far too pompous to be disturbed by exiting the room but suddenly there was some discreet but obvious consternation where we were all sitting and it very quickly became apparent that not only was the regaled and robed old chap in full flow with his speech, but one of our intake was also flowing voluminously ... into his uniform trousers!! The event had gone on for so long that the unfortunate lad hadn't been able to last out and with no means of exiting the room, he simply couldn't wait and torrentially wet himself sitting on a wooden bench.
Never have a pair of pants been wetted so spectacularly. And around 19 other pairs came close too I suspect, through the laughter that erupted outside when we finally escaped. Memorable and side-splitting for weeks, months and years afterwards, but probably also mortifying for the poor young copper, too!
that’s quite an impressive CV! So what happened on the coach?
