The most depressing part of the phone in, for my money, is the endless series of utterly trivial and banal texts that the 'domestic goddess' has to read out.
If we win it's "Well done lads, another three points. And that's from Ricky". Otherwise it's "And from Phil in Hove: We need some strikers, Knight must go ".
I mean, what's the point? I have never yet heard one genuinely interesting or worthwhile text read out. Ever.
Well phone me from Crete on Tuesday and we'll ring you straight back..........