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Has any one got any good/bad jokes?
- Thread starter BhaRebel
- Start date
goldstoned
New member
- Mar 4, 2011
- 26
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo....
Because he kneaded a poo....
Bolton va va
Active member
- Nov 20, 2012
- 374
When Beyonce discovered that she was Roy Castle's lovechild, she decided not to adopt the family name.
Dorset Seagull
Once Dolphin, Now Seagull
Bloke goes to the doctor because he can't stop farting. He constantly farts while explaining to the doctor his problem. The doctor asks him to bend over and drop his trousers while he goes to get a wooden pole from the corner of the surgery. "Blimey you're not going to shove that up my are are you" to which the doctor replies "No I'm going to open the window it stinks in here"
grubbyhands
Well-known member
Very good. I would like to counter that with:
My Uncle George really was a rubbish ventriloquist, he used to sit me on his lap, put 2 fingers up my arse and tell me not to say anything.
JamesAndTheGiantHead
Well-known member
What time does Sean Connery like to arrive at Wimbledon?
Tennish.
Tennish.
Car crime in a multi storey car park.
Wrong, on so many different levels.
When does Tim Henman go to bed?
Tennish.
A lady had three dogs, called Bum, Tits and Willy.
She went to the park with them and they ran away.
She found a police man and said "Have you seen my bum tits and willy?"
He said "No, but I'd like to"
One of those jokes was told to me when I was five years old. Political correctness is no match for anatomical incorrectness
Wrong, on so many different levels.
When does Tim Henman go to bed?
Tennish.
A lady had three dogs, called Bum, Tits and Willy.
She went to the park with them and they ran away.
She found a police man and said "Have you seen my bum tits and willy?"
He said "No, but I'd like to"
One of those jokes was told to me when I was five years old. Political correctness is no match for anatomical incorrectness
B-right-on
Living the dream
This made me piss myself a couple of years ago when I first heard it. Cracked me up again listening to it again.
https://youtu.be/OV7SXmHq0Bk
https://youtu.be/OV7SXmHq0Bk
beardy gull
Well-known member
Man 1: My wife just went to the south of Spain to have plastic surgery on her nose.
Man 2: Andalucía?
Man 1: No, just her nose.
Man 2: Andalucía?
Man 1: No, just her nose.
OzMike
Well-known member
What time does a Chinese man go to the dentist...............................at tooth hurty.
OzMike
Well-known member
It was the end of WWII and loads of servicemen and women were celebrating in the pub.
One particular serviceman was getting on with a service woman and ask if she wanted to go outside, to which she agreed.
Once outside the soldier was getting a bit frisky with her when she said, 'slow down, I'm a WAC, Walk And Cuddle'.
He left her to go back inside saying that he was going to find a WAF.
One particular serviceman was getting on with a service woman and ask if she wanted to go outside, to which she agreed.
Once outside the soldier was getting a bit frisky with her when she said, 'slow down, I'm a WAC, Walk And Cuddle'.
He left her to go back inside saying that he was going to find a WAF.
"What do you mean it's bollox? I rode the snake past my wife several minutes ago and she never mentioned I had my zipper open."
Now if I could only remember the rest of the joke.
Now if I could only remember the rest of the joke.
OzMike
Well-known member
I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas and when she said a divorce I said that I was hoping for something a bit cheaper.
Jack Straw
I look nothing like him!
Have you heard about the dyslexic Devil Worshiper who sold his soul to Santa?
spanishdave
New member
Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.