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Glass hammers, tartan paint etc







Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
When I worked In a fitness centre years ago we got the work experience kid out to get some underwater paint to paint the lines on the bottom of the pool. We convinced him you could get paint that allows you to paint the lines while the water was still in the pool.

I wasn't there at the time but the others managed to convince a lad to put a snorkel and flippers on and sweep the bottom of the pool with a broom.
 


OzMike

Well-known member
Oct 2, 2006
13,282
Perth Australia
I told someone to go get me a long wait from the stores, they came back and said the storeman asked how long I wanted it.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,708
The Fatherland
Four candles?
 


father_and_son

Well-known member
Jan 23, 2012
4,652
Under the Police Box
Have used a number of the ones mentioned with various degrees of success but the "new bubble for a spirit level" was very successful for us.
We had our work experience lad back and forth to Wicks a number of times discussing colour, shape and size with their manager before he came back with a box ans a note that just said "nice one".


My personal favourite was many years ago, working in McDonalds, we made a [less than bright] lad stocktake ice cubes - counting them in the machine, while the machine was on and dropping another batch of cubes in every couple of minutes. He got seriously angry because he couldn't do it and all the help he got was "well, no one else has ever had a problem" from everyone else working the shift.
 




father_and_son

Well-known member
Jan 23, 2012
4,652
Under the Police Box
Did anyone see that episode of The Island with Bear Grylls where they convinced the Essex lad a haggis was a four-legged, purple animal found running around the hills in Scotland :lolol:

But its true!!! They have one pair of legs shorter than the other so they can stand up straight on mountainsides and if the left legs are shorter it a "Windershuns Haggis" and they are extremely rare!
 


Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,031
Sent a youngster down to local hardware store once for a box of fallopian tubes....he wasnt happy when he came back :lolol:
 


I once heard a customer asking for Organic Sea Salt in the Farm Shop at Middle Farm, Firle. What was really impressive was the shop assistant's knowledge of chemistry, as she patiently replied: "NO".
 












Ned

Real Northern Monkey
Jul 16, 2003
1,618
At Home
Often sent apprentices to the stores to get a "small bas tard file" only for the stores man to send them back with an apology that he only had a bloody big bugger of a file.
 


TWOCHOICEStom

Well-known member
Sep 22, 2007
10,910
Brighton
When I was about 13 I got sent up the road to get some sky hooks from the hardware shop by my Dad and his colleagues. The guy in the shop knew exactly what was up, so sent me back down the road TWICE. Once to see what size I needed (It was extremely important I get that right apparently) and once to see whether it was cast iron or steel finish (you need different ones for different skies)

The second trip back down the hill resulted in the staff (including my Dad) all laughing their arses off at me outside. *******s.
 


Worthingite

Sexy Pete... :D
Sep 16, 2011
4,965
Chesterfield
I messed up by sending a new member of bar staff out for a glass hammer...... He came back 2 hours later with a glass hammer to break fire alarms. They do exist, and I wasted a fiver on something I would literally never use. Should have been more specific
 








tip top

Kandidate
Jun 27, 2007
1,883
dunno I'm lost
I've heard many on site over the years but a personal favourite of mine many years ago was an apprentice plumber being sent off to get some ring piece lubricant. Poor sod
 






Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
I heard of one, but don't know if it ever happened. Doubt it but anyway. You give the new lad a handheld fire extinguisher and a sealed envelope and tell him he has to go and get the seals checked on it but before he goes can he pop into the boss's office and give him the envelope as it contains the paperwork he needs to get signed. Inside the envelope is not the paperwork but a note reading "Give me a pay rise you miser or I'll squirt you".

If that's not an urban myth you'd better hope you have a boss with a sense of humour.
 


Puppet Master

non sequitur
Aug 14, 2012
4,056
Managed to convince my young niece that there was such things as an inflatable dartboard and a solar powered torch. She also believed that her goldfish needed a water bowl when I said it looked thirsty :lolol:
 


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