Glass hammers, tartan paint etc

[desprateseagull]

in the scouts, had to 'hold up' the frames of an inflatable tent..

 

[desprateseagull]

I was sent off for dehydrated water, a long weight, left handed screwdrivers etc.

I always knew they were "fools errands" so just went outside and had a few fags.

Oh how they laughed.

http://www.airsupplies.co.uk/sd160l-ar320-s4q-desoutter-left-hand-tightening-screwdriver.html

 

[poidy]

Tartan paint, bubbles for spirit level and a reach around

 

[desprateseagull]

did someone mention haggis hunting? there's a webcam, ffs!
http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/

 

[Bill Cassidy's tie up]

We sent a lad into the local shop for a Cherry Clitoris ice lolly and he came back and said the girl said they must be Lyons Maid we on sell Walls

 

[Snowy]

As a youngster I worked on a Deli counter and was sent for a Cheese Wire Sharpener and then as an apprentice in the Printing / Graphic Arts Trade I was sent for a box of half tone dots (maybe a bit obscure that one?)

 

[Chicken Runner61]

I got one of the young secretaries where I used to work to ring Gamely's to see if they had any Flea Circuses in stock

 

[surrey jim]

I've heard many on site over the years but a personal favourite of mine many years ago was an apprentice plumber being sent off to get some ring piece lubricant. Poor sod

Top seller in Kemptown

The best I have heard is a lad who was sent to local stores for a pack of bent nails.

 

[banjo]

Four candles?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sO6EE1xTXmw

Classic.

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

The black lightbulb that darkens the room when you switch it on was the only one I have ever managed to convince someone of.

 

[Saltydog]

Hitched a birth on the aptly named HMS Brighton with a bunch of fresh faced cadets for my maiden voyage and the leading hand instructed a couple of lads to go to the galley and fetch a bowl of milk for the "seacat".... I remember I too busy repositioning my breckie down a rifle barrel to care about much at the time as a storm whipped up to peak at a force 9 sailing down the North sea!

 

[blockhseagull]

Sent a work experience lad to the post office to get a verbal agreement form

 

[seagurn]

Saw a chippy apprentice sent to chandlers for a box pf nail heads


Also electricians apprentice sent foe a blue spark.

 

[pastafarian]

A good one in the catering trade is send someone for a leg of salmon.

i like that

convincing the server to apologise to the customer that we have run out of 4oz burgers and will a 1/4 pounder be ok of you instead?.......... was a chuckle,sometimes you would get the added bonus of the customer asking if they were the same price before making their mind up,or even better changing their mind and ordering something different.

 

[happypig]

a rather niaive trainee was sent to fix the phone in St Peters church, the report was "bell not ringing in tower". The vicar, bless him, actually led the lad to the tower, pulled a rope and told him he'd been had.
Another good one was sending someone to the aquarium and saying the on site contact was Mr C Lyons.

 

[Puppet Master]

http://www.david.zen.co.uk/toolstore/Online_Catalogue_Tools_4.html

 

[Brightonfan1983]

I did convince my Wife during the winter Olympics that the reason the Cross Country Skiers had rifles was because of the risk of bear attack.

Reminds me of this for some reason - a caller to Danny Baker years ago told of his girlfriend who accepted his deadpan answer, that Man Utd's Danish keeper's first name was Michael. Childish but funny.

 

[aberllefenni]

In my father's first ever job as an office boy at Pontardawe steelworks he was given a wheelbarrow by the office manager and sent off to collect the flywheel for "stocktaking" As he walked through the main blast furnace unit he noiced a lot of pointing and sniggering. When he got to the end of the building the foreman pointed to the said flywheel, all 16 tons of it.