[Albion] Garth Crooks (made-up) Team of the Week 2023/24

[Hugo Rune]

A classic of the genre:

Pascal Gross (Brighton & Hove Albion): I don't think I've seen defending by a Manchester United side like that for years. Victor Lindelof looked unrecognisable from the player I saw in last season's FA Cup semi-final and don't even get me started on Lisandro Martinez.

However, this was an impressive victory at Old Trafford by Brighton, who ran all over United in a similar way to how Wolves did earlier in the season - except they didn't get the result. Pascal Gross was the standout player and seems to have filled the gaps left by Alexis Mac Allister and Moises Caicedo with remarkable ease.

Any attempt to try to attach blame for United's poor recent performances on the Glazers' lack of ability to sell the club is utter nonsense. Whatever boardroom activities are taking place has nothing to do with a professional footballer once they cross the white line.

Text book.

He only wanted to write about a Big Six.

5 players mentioned, only one is a Brighton player. The rest play for the Big Six.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

A classic of the genre:

Pascal Gross (Brighton & Hove Albion): I don't think I've seen defending by a Manchester United side like that for years. Victor Lindelof looked unrecognisable from the player I saw in last season's FA Cup semi-final and don't even get me started on Lisandro Martinez.

However, this was an impressive victory at Old Trafford by Brighton, who ran all over United in a similar way to how Wolves did earlier in the season - except they didn't get the result. Pascal Gross was the standout player and seems to have filled the gaps left by Alexis Mac Allister and Moises Caicedo with remarkable ease.

Any attempt to try to attach blame for United's poor recent performances on the Glazers' lack of ability to sell the club is utter nonsense. Whatever boardroom activities are taking place has nothing to do with a professional footballer once they cross the white line.

What a puffed-up chancer. That reads like he has attempted a precis of teletext, with added flying buttresses.

 

[GT49er]

Haven't checked it out, but an enormously large proportion of his picks seem to have been players who scored goals...........

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Who do we write to to get this twat sacked?

 

[FatSuperman]

A classic of the genre:

Pascal Gross (Brighton & Hove Albion): I don't think I've seen defending by a Manchester United side like that for years. Victor Lindelof looked unrecognisable from the player I saw in last season's FA Cup semi-final and don't even get me started on Lisandro Martinez.

However, this was an impressive victory at Old Trafford by Brighton, who ran all over United in a similar way to how Wolves did earlier in the season - except they didn't get the result. Pascal Gross was the standout player and seems to have filled the gaps left by Alexis Mac Allister and Moises Caicedo with remarkable ease.

Any attempt to try to attach blame for United's poor recent performances on the Glazers' lack of ability to sell the club is utter nonsense. Whatever boardroom activities are taking place has nothing to do with a professional footballer once they cross the white line.

Indeed, an absolute textbook Garth Crooks there from Garth Crooks.

What a pillock

 

[Papa Lazarou]

I thought someone had made that Groß section up, but, no, it's real.

Who is a model pro? Garth Crooks' Team of the Week

Which players impressed our football pundit Garth Crooks enough to make his latest Team of the Week?

www.bbc.com

 

[Bozza]

Not a massive vote of confidence in the Forest and Burnley players yet to strut their stuff in this round of fixtures.

 

[West Upper Seagull]

Haven't checked it out, but an enormously large proportion of his picks seem to have been players who scored goals...........

That is all his picks are typically only ever based on. He really is a lazy waste of space and is stealing earnings from the BBC for his weekly shite. He picks Pascal Gross and writes 2 paragraphs about United - not the first time he has written more about the opposing team than our player when he selects them. I have no time or respect for this blokes opinions

 

[B-right-on]

That is all his picks are typically only ever based on. He really is a lazy waste of space and is stealing earnings from the BBC for his weekly shite. He picks Pascal Gross and writes 2 paragraphs about United - EVERY time he has written more about the opposing team than our player when he selects them. I have no time or respect for this blokes opinions

Fixed for you.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Not a massive vote of confidence in the Forest and Burnley players yet to strut their stuff in this round of fixtures.

If you check his schedule, he’ll be in bed;

 

[Doonhamer7]

What a rubbish write up - as well as the Man U review (hidden under Gross) then read the Trossard review and the Salah review, is he in cloud cookoo land. 2 Liverpool players in xi and I watched the game on Saturday they were rubbish

 

[GingerBeerMan]

Not a massive vote of confidence in the Forest and Burnley players yet to strut their stuff in this round of fixtures.

If a big 6 club play Monday night they don't do TOTW until after. The bias really is a shambles.

 

[JOLovegrove]

What a rubbish write up - as well as the Man U review (hidden under Gross) then read the Trossard review and the Salah review, is he in cloud cookoo land. 2 Liverpool players in xi and I watched the game on Saturday they were rubbish

4 City players and 1 Brighton player is the issue for me. Clearly didn't watch our game.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

A classic of the genre:

Pascal Gross (Brighton & Hove Albion): I don't think I've seen defending by a Manchester United side like that for years. Victor Lindelof looked unrecognisable from the player I saw in last season's FA Cup semi-final and don't even get me started on Lisandro Martinez.

However, this was an impressive victory at Old Trafford by Brighton, who ran all over United in a similar way to how Wolves did earlier in the season - except they didn't get the result. Pascal Gross was the standout player and seems to have filled the gaps left by Alexis Mac Allister and Moises Caicedo with remarkable ease.

Any attempt to try to attach blame for United's poor recent performances on the Glazers' lack of ability to sell the club is utter nonsense. Whatever boardroom activities are taking place has nothing to do with a professional footballer once they cross the white line.

Fack me - I honestly thought this was a very fine attempt at parody Garth!

 

[Hamilton]

A classic of the genre:

Pascal Gross (Brighton & Hove Albion): I don't think I've seen defending by a Manchester United side like that for years. Victor Lindelof looked unrecognisable from the player I saw in last season's FA Cup semi-final and don't even get me started on Lisandro Martinez.

However, this was an impressive victory at Old Trafford by Brighton, who ran all over United in a similar way to how Wolves did earlier in the season - except they didn't get the result. Pascal Gross was the standout player and seems to have filled the gaps left by Alexis Mac Allister and Moises Caicedo with remarkable ease.

Any attempt to try to attach blame for United's poor recent performances on the Glazers' lack of ability to sell the club is utter nonsense. Whatever boardroom activities are taking place has nothing to do with a professional footballer once they cross the white line.

Oh my lord.

I thought you’d written a parody version in anticipation. I didn’t realise this was the real thing.

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

Oh my lord.

I thought you’d written a parody version in anticipation. I didn’t realise this was the real thing.

Me too.

 

[Papa Lazarou]

Me too.

Me 3

 

[5Ways Gull]

Who do we write to to get this twat sacked?

I did send a complaint to the beeb last year. Got a sort of apology but nothings changed. Think they must be employing Howard Webb.

 

[Questions]

I enjoy the Garth Crooks piece……

What I mean is I enjoy it being taken apart on a Monday.

 

[The Wizard]

He’s literally stealing a living.