[Humour] Funny or interesting work anecdotes

[Weststander]

We childlishly turned the vacant/engaged brass sign on the men loos doors to engaged from the outside, with a coin.

A partner who lacked common sense, spent substantial time one evening banging on the door and looking under it, calling for the phantom person to come out. Desparate for a pee. There was another loo on a floor below, but he was dogged.

The same bloke shared a small office with a bloke he clashed with. One always wanted the flourescent tube ceiling lights on, the other didn’t because he said they cause cancer. So an on / off battle went on one evening, until one flipped with a “**** you” and threw a giant stack of papers towards the other guy, before storming out.

Loads of other childish anecdotes at the same office, all before Dave Brent’s The Office. It made a shit working environment, amusing.

 

[LlcoolJ]

The police

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Most likely actually.

 

[Whitechapel]

Where the hell were you working?

I should probably be mature and not name the company as they’re quite a large employer locally and the bad publicity could do them a lot of harm. There’s also at least one person on here who did/does work there.

Then I remember how badly I was treated there*...

It’s World of Books, in Goring.

(*I made a formal complaint against a superior for bullying me. She had a string of complaints against her. 1 of the 5 people I gave as a witness was interviewed before they decided there was nothing there. Fast forward a couple of months. I got accused of something along with two other people and was suspended for 5 weeks whilst they investigated, interviewing numerous people, re-interviewing people, interviewing the person I had complained about despite her being in a different department. After all of that they found no solid evidence against me beyond antecdotal evidence. I was severely punished. Worst part? I was at Norwich away when the incident happened ffs. )

 

[Birdie Boy]

I should probably be mature and not name the company as they’re quite a large employer locally and the bad publicity could do them a lot of harm. There’s also at least one person on here who did/does work there.

Then I remember how badly I was treated there*...

It’s World of Books, in Goring.

(*I made a formal complaint against a superior for bullying me. She had a string of complaints against her. 1 of the 5 people I gave as a witness was interviewed before they decided there was nothing there. Fast forward a couple of months. I got accused of something along with two other people and was suspended for 5 weeks whilst they investigated, interviewing numerous people, re-interviewing people, interviewing the person I had complained about despite her being in a different department. After all of that they found no solid evidence against me beyond antecdotal evidence. I was severely punished. Worst part? I was at Norwich away when the incident happened ffs. [emoji38]ol

Someone I know has gone to work for them but I Eastbourne I believe.

 

[Surport Local Team]

One Sunday evening, many years ago, the Watch I worked with was called to a chimney fire in a barn conversion.

On arrival, the Officer in Charge went inside with a Leading Firefighter to establish what we were dealing with. More often than not, emptying any fuel from the hearth and a quick use of the chimney rods does the job. On this occasion however, the Thermal Image Camera was showing that the whole chimney breast had become super-heated and urgently needed cooling. So whilst the Leading Firefighter got on with removing logs and coal from the hearth, the Officer in Charge sent 2 further crew members up onto the roof with a hose to spray a cooling jet down the chimney. I was positioned on the front lawn. From here, with the front door open, I had direct line of sight with the guy emptying the fireplace, the crew on the roof, the pump operator at the back of the appliance controlling water flow and pressure and the Officer in Charge, monioring the temperature with the Thermal Image Camera. My job was to relay messages between the various crew members and co-ordinate operations.

Once the pair on the roof were positioned by the cluster of chimney pots I informed the O-i-C and he gave the order to start spraying a cooling jet. He monitored the temperature and told me it was having no effect. "Tell them to up pressure," he shouted. I gave the signal and the guys on the roof eeked up the pressure. Still no change. "More!" shouted the O-i-C. Again, I gave the signal. By now they were bollocking water down the chimney.

It was at this point - and I'll carry this image to my dying day - that the front door of the next door semi-detached property suddenly flew open and a middle-aged couple staggered out into their garden, emerging from a beautifully back-lit plume of steam like Stars in Their Eyes contestants.

Whoops.

thats brilliant lol

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Howling at this.

Reminds me of the time when I worked for a company that did heating maintenance.
I was told to go to a rental flat that didn't have any heating or hot water, the flat was shared by 4 students.
They had piled up so much rubbish in the kitchen it had reached the electricity supply switch that isolated the boiler, and turned off the switch

When I was in the Wrens, as a radio operator, my transceiver wasn't working properly, so the PO RadioMechanic was called in to repair it. There was a problem he found so he called in the Electrical Officer. The problem was fixed, and the transceiver replaced, but was as dead as a dodo.
I could see the problem, but couldn't interrupt their conversation being just a lowly WRO2.
Eventually, I piped up, and said, "Excuse me sir, but you haven't switch it back on at the mains".

Thank you, Wren H. Carry on.

 

[Jack Straw]

A lady friend I worked with was walking along New Road on the way to a job and told us this after she had returned to base.
She was confronted by a reasonably good looking teenager who stood in front of her and shouted "Bonk?" My friend was quite astonished and just looked at him. "Bonk?" he shouted again. Hardly looking anything like a Lady of the Night, my friend was deciding whether to kick him where it hurts, or slap him round the face. He then got some money out of his pocket and started waving it under my friend's nose, still shouting "Bonk? Bonk?" That was it. My friend was about to inflict some physical damage on this lad but before she could land a blow, he shouted in broken English that he was a French student, only had a little bit of money left and needed to find the nearest "Bonk"!

 

[pearl]

I worked for a magazine publisher some years ago. A right pillock joined the company, but thought he knew it all.
VERY early one morning a massive truck arrived outside his tiny terraced house. A (not very happy) lorry driver asked where his forklift was.
Somehow he'd managed to get over 20 000 freshly printed magazines delivered to his home address

Same bloke was crossing the road when his trousers fell down, he couldn't do anything as his hands were full at the time.
He didn't last long

 

[Bry Nylon]

World of Books, in Goring.

Possibly my favourite sentence I've ever read on NSC.

 

[Nobby]

Worked with a young lady who walked in one morning saying that she had been told that her car was leaking oil and she needed to top it up.
But she had tried and was taking an age to get any oil into car.
Could anyone help?

So I wandered out into the car park.

She had the bonnet up, and was trying to pour oil into the hole for the dipstick.

I think that is where the phrase originated......