Blackadder- Given the choice between meeting Sqdn Cmdr Flasheart or the man who cleans out the public toilets in Aberdeen, I'd go for Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop every time
Blackadder - Oh God, God, God, what was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it.
Blackadder - What is this?
Baldrick - I'm surprised you've forgotten, My Lord.
Blackadder - I haven't forgotten, it's a rhetorical question.
Baldrick - Nah, it's a potato.
And of course the immortal: I have a cunning plan...
The last episode of Blackadder still ranks, for me, as one of the greatest pieces of comedy ever made, and that last sequence has to rank as a truly great TV moment, even all these years later.
Lord Flasheart - Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out that I'm missing, five hundred girls will kill themselves. I wouldn't want them on my conscience, not when they ought to be on my face! Huh!
Or
Hi, Flasheart here. Yeah, cancel the state funeral, tell the King to stop blubbing. Flash is not dead. I simply ran out of juice! Yeah, and before all the girls start saying "Oh, what's the point of living anymore", I'm talking about petrol! Woof, woof!
Or
No, not in half an hour, you rubber-desk johnny. Send the bitch with the wheels right now or I'll fly back to England and give your wife something to hang her towels on.
"Does your dog bite?" asks Inspector Clouseau.
"No" says man behind counter.
*Clouseau leans in to pat the dog which reacts by snarling and snapping biting the Insectors hand*.
"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOUR DOG DOES NOT BITE?"Clouseau says.
"That is not my dog." the man behind the counter replys.