[Football] For what duration of a match could an elite side hide a pub player?

[Sid in the Sharknado]

Obviously different, but I guess when you get past the first 5 or so attempts in a penalty shootout, you'll get down to players who probably never practice that skill and are put on the spot (literally) to perform at a crucial moment. Obviously at the top levels even the lesser players will have the basic skill to be able to get something half decent away though.

Taking a slightly wider view of different sports, obviously in cricket about a 3rd of test match batting line up will be bowlers with no particular batting ability, who are obliged to go out and face international quality bowling. The converse of international players playing in league or grade matches also occurs fairly frequently.

Any other sports come to mind where players are obliged to perform a skill they're not selected for?

 

[KeegansHairPiece]

Higher than park football, yes, but nothing amazing. I specifically said in a game for Man City against somebody shit -ie you'd not actually have to do anything, bar be okay with your feet and spray a few passes about. That would have been no problem.

Sadly, I'd have to let Pep down if he calls this week though, as I'm sidelined, due to taking a knee to the FACE on Monday night, saving a one-on-one.

From the moment of your first touch all other 21 players on that pitch would know you were out of place, no matter how good you thought said touch was, they'd know. They'd spot a weakness like a lion does hunting a herd of bison. You'd be the little baby bison with a limp leg not quite able to keep up...

 

[Sid in the Sharknado]

From the moment of your first touch all other 21 players on that pitch would know you were out of place, no matter how good you thought said touch was, they'd know. They'd spot a weakness like a lion does hunting a herd of bison. You'd be the little baby bison with a limp leg not quite able to keep up...

It says something about how crap I am at football that I get that when playing in a midweek works team 5 a side game.

 

[AZ Gull]

Obviously different, but I guess when you get past the first 5 or so attempts in a penalty shootout, you'll get down to players who probably never practice that skill and are put on the spot (literally) to perform at a crucial moment. Obviously at the top levels even the lesser players will have the basic skill to be able to get something half decent away though.

Taking a slightly wider view of different sports, obviously in cricket about a 3rd of test match batting line up will be bowlers with no particular batting ability, who are obliged to go out and face international quality bowling. The converse of international players playing in league or grade matches also occurs fairly frequently.

Any other sports come to mind where players are obliged to perform a skill they're not selected for?

In baseball, there are actually different rules for the National League and the American League. In the NL the pitcher takes his turn in the batting line-up; in the American League they have the designated hitter - that player bats when it would have been the turn of the pitcher (and so the DH only ever hits, but never fields).

When matches are played between NL and AL sides, the rules of the home team come into play. This means that should, for instance, the New York Yankees come to play a series against the Arizona Diamondbacks, the Yankees' pitchers would have to take their turn hitting (something that they ordinarily would never do).

 

[Blues Guitarist]

I few years ago there was a top player who insisted his best friend was also signed as part of the deal .I think they moved to several clubs with the latter not actually playing at all. Someone on NSC will know.

When Reading signed Doyle they also signed a good friend of his who had recently switched from hurling to football. It worked out well, his name was Shane Long.

 

[One Teddy Maybank]

Anyone can get down. Its the quickly getting up again bit that can be the challenge!

Best hold it then, none of this modern day parrying

 

[dazzer6666]

From the moment of your first touch all other 21 players on that pitch would know you were out of place, no matter how good you thought said touch was, they'd know. They'd spot a weakness like a lion does hunting a herd of bison. You'd be the little baby bison with a limp leg not quite able to keep up...

100% this - I've seen it work the other way even at a decent level of semi-pro football. Very occasionally a 'proper' but ageing pro has appeared in games against my local team and it's usually instantly obvious from their first touch they are at a different skill level. All of us who have played - even a little bit - and scream at our players, the TV etc when they make a mistake things like 'I could have done better than that' are, of course talking bollocks. Same with almost any professional sport at the top level..............a decent club cricketer who thinks he can handle pace or spin....yeah right. A test spinner is winging it down at what would we be considered at least a decent medium pace in club cricket.

 

[CaptainDaveUK]

Reminds me of when Harry Rednapp put a fan on the pitch.... https://youtu.be/YyESoolmYuk

 

[Sid in the Sharknado]

100% this - I've seen it work the other way even at a decent level of semi-pro football. Very occasionally a 'proper' but ageing pro has appeared in games against my local team and it's usually instantly obvious from their first touch they are at a different skill level. All of us who have played - even a little bit - and scream at our players, the TV etc when they make a mistake things like 'I could have done better than that' are, of course talking bollocks. Same with almost any professional sport at the top level..............a decent club cricketer who thinks he can handle pace or spin....yeah right. A test spinner is winging it down at what would we be considered at least a decent medium pace in club cricket.

I found an article from a few years back about Jeff Thomson bowling in Sydney grade cricket, frankly it's rather overlong and quite messily written, it's also a bit terrifying. On the day in question he apparently took about 6-4, with another retired hurt with a broken eye socket before he had to stop bowling due to a niggle.

https://www.espncricinfo.com/wisdenalmanack/content/story/668721.html

 

[Sirnormangall]

I think the question should be posed to Roy Hodgson - but only if we feel Palace are an “elite” side.

 

[Bodian]

I lived in Holland for six months, and we frequented a local bar/pub a lot. No idea what it was actually called, but it was known to us as the 'Boner Bar' as the local dutch lads simply couldn't get enough of the English Roses in our group. Anyway, one day the lads there mentioned they played football regularly, and at that time we were playing 5-10 a side (depending on how many turned up) multinational kickabouts each week down the park. So, we foolishly challenged them to a Holland v England 5-a-side International in a few weeks time.

Bugger me if from that moment, we didn't see them in the bar again till after the game. They were off flipping well training! Whilst we were in the bar still. Sneaky eh?

On the day - they only went and turned up in full kit, and explained that 2 of the six had played for Holland Youth. We were in any old t-shirt and shorts we could find.

But, as it happened - their flair, and our guts, sweat, and determination to get the English Roses to cheer from us and not them, just about balanced each other out. But my word, they were a class or two above us. And it remains my finest moment in football that I equalised (2-2) with the final kick of the game, and hit the ball so hard that I broke the keeper's thumb!

Then we all went back to the pub.

 

[London Irish]

Crawley signed that guy off the telly Mark Wright who is basically a pub player

Yes I watched the 45 minutes they gave him in a League 2 game and it was pretty embarrassing, he was just constantly out of position, jogging at quarter speed round the pitch as everyone looked like Usain Bolt running past him, he is basically a reasonably gym fit bloke but just couldn’t anticipate anything happening on the pitch, he was often running in the opposite direction he needed to go. Dragged off at half time and never seen again

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I few years ago there was a top player who insisted his best friend was also signed as part of the deal .I think they moved to several clubs with the latter not actually playing at all. Someone on NSC will know.

Newcastle United currently employ a friend of Allan Saint Maximin, who was working on a building site in Australia when ASM ‘suggested’ he be given a chance.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/f...r-BRICKLAYER-friends-Allan-Saint-Maximin.html

 

[Swansman]

Newcastle United currently employ a friend of Allan Saint Maximin, who was working on a building site in Australia when ASM ‘suggested’ he be given a chance.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/f...r-BRICKLAYER-friends-Allan-Saint-Maximin.html

Bricklayer huh, sounds infinitely more useful than Andy Carroll.