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[Football] Football Songs That Don't Really Work Any More



Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,782
'You're supposed to be at home'

More of a literal observation than a goading ditty.
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
There was an old joke about an earwig with shirt number "0" that nobody under thirty would get these days.
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
"In your *Northern* slums" still applies in a few places but not half as widely as it did.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
55,718
Faversham
Funnily, after all these years, I still have hopes we may one day sign that flair Spanish winger, Juan Tanamera. The song would be epic.
 






Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
55,718
Faversham


Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Patron
Jul 17, 2003
19,723
Valley of Hangleton
Was just watching an old Pointless we recorded and there was a round on football songs. One of the answers was "Aly's Tartan Army" from 1978, which used to have every club changing it to their own words during the FA Cup. I'm not sure it would work right now though.

"We're on the march with Graham's / Potter's Army"

People called Graham don't have an army and Potter's Army sounds like a J K Rowling reject.

"We're all going to Wemberley"

No we're not. Not till lockdown's over.

"And we'll really shake them up, when we win the FA Cup"

No, we won't. No one gives a shit anymore.

There must be loads of other examples? Over to you.....

“You’re gonna get your ****ing head kicked in”
 








Ooh it’s a corner

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2016
5,472
Nr. Coventry
Great thread

As well as the Notts County line I also recall an alternative - To Hell with Bournemouth too - early 70s I suspect

Also
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Isa
etc

Referee Referee
Your Old Lady Is A Horse - or something similar

Ooh It’s A Corner, Ooh It’s A Corner etc - a fave of mine obviously
 






peterward

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Nov 11, 2009
12,202
Was gonna say "shit ground no fans"

But that still very much works at Selhurst.
 










bhafc99

Well-known member
Oct 14, 2003
7,430
Dubai
"We all follow the Albion
Over land and sea
But only after a 14-day quarantine of course..."
 


Doonhamer7

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2016
1,448
At Hampden When supporting Scotland in late 80s we had a wee diddty along the line “Dennis Thatcher your wife’s a c***”, repeat, repeat
 






sully

Dunscouting
Jul 7, 2003
7,926
Worthing
I just miss stamping my feet when we get a corner. Doesn’t have the same effect as the old Withdean South Stand.
 


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