[Help] FAO: The divorced of NSC

[Weststander]

One thing that I can’t see anyone having covered (sorry if I’ve just missed it) is when to tell the kids.

I’d say they need to know as soon as possible. Don’t let them find out by accident.

I really hope you can keep things amicable and that you can work out a solution that works for everyone. Sadly, I discovered quite quickly that my ex was the most vindictive person I’ve ever known and it still shocks me how she turned from someone I used to love to someone I can’t even talk to. She tried to poison my kids and destroy me financially and very nearly succeeded in both aims.

You will also find out who your real friends are. Some will be a real shock both ways. However, staying reasonable to everyone is definitely the way forward as she managed to alienate many friends by speaking badly of me to them in front of my kids. She has only herself to blame for being single still after 15 years and having few friends.

Going back to old hobbies and immersing myself in all things Albion helped me through the heartbreak all those years ago and also reunited me with an old friend who is now my wife. If only we’d realised when we first met how compatible we were and what a happy life we would have together!

[MENTION=260]sully[/MENTION]. What a lovely final part to your story, great to see that you ended up gaining in the end. All the best.

 

[pearl]

To every one of you who said "go for a run/get fit" - I hate you! - I was perfectly happy with the earlier "walk" suggestion, but tomorrow night i'll be dusting of the trainers and taking your advice! (I have a sneaky feeling the wife put you up to those suggestions though - as i suffer spontaneous pneumothoraxes - and i'm worth more dead than I am alive!)

I advise you to stick to walking then
good luck

 

[rippleman]

[*]Can the legal side of things be painless if you are both amicable (which I’m hoping it will be)?
[/LIST]

Yes, of course. Until you appoint solicitors to act for you. Then things change.

Hope all goes well for you mate.

 

[Lush]

Amazing how many people (me included) met the love of their life in later years after getting divorced. It probably won't seem like it now, but you could end up happier than ever before.

 

[Arthritic Toe]

Yes, of course. Until you appoint solicitors to act for you. Then things change.

Agree with this. Solicitors will try and create conflict in all manner of things you'd never even thought of. The more conflict they can engineer, the bigger their bill basically. Unless things are really bad, you don't need them at all. Have a look at the various online fixed price services which will get you the divorce and consent order (this is the legal document setting out the financial arrangements). I used wikivorce. I think it was a couple of hundred quid all in.

All the best.

 

[Weststander]

Agree with this. Solicitors will try and create conflict in all manner of things you'd never even thought of. The more conflict they can engineer, the bigger their bill basically. Unless things are really bad, you don't need them at all. Have a look at the various online fixed price services which will get you the divorce and consent order (this is the legal document setting out the financial arrangements). I used wikivorce. I think it was a couple of hundred quid all in.

All the best.

Solicitor's will do this, in the name of maximising their client's interests, but it will enrich them.

From many of the insightful posts above, mediation appears the best route, with solicitors signing off the agreed moves at the very end. Be firm to avoid their final attempt to stir dispute.

 

[Doc Lynam]

To anyone going through a tough time in a relationship I’d highly recommend this book. Here’s a breakdown of the basic contents!

https://youtu.be/-47gAh9S-Fw

 

[vegster]

It will get better but how long that takes is unknown. Be prepared for a bitter divorce, I was hoping mine could be amicable but my wife's demands made our mediator gasp.... You will hurt feir some time but it will get better, I have now met the girl I wish I had met 20 years ago.

 

[alfredmizen]

I thought my ex wife had Tourettes , got her checked out , false alarm though .....



Turns out i was a w*nker and she did want me to fvck off