etiquette of a somewhat delicate gender type-issue

[captainmorganrum]

We've got a temp just started in the office, started on Monday.
"Tom"

Thing is, it's pretty clear that Tom wasn't always Tom.

So how long should I leave it before asking...
(1) How far along is it then?
(2) Which toilets will you be using?
(3) What did your real name used to be?

When we were introduced, the hand wasn't offered until I stuck mine (hand!) out there.
And it was limp.
I hate that.
In "Tom's" position I'd try to over-compensate, it's the only way to go.

 

[Nibble]

Perhaps you should just get on with your job and stop worrying about what other people do with their cocks and fannies.

 

[Pavilionaire]

"So he flipped it over on it's wheels, like, and -f-f-f-f....and it started first time!"

 

[captainmorganrum]

Gosh, that's me served.

I'm doing my job rather well, thanks!

 

[seven stands]

I do hate a limp hand shake on a bloke ( am really talking about a handshake being limp not being straight/gay/whatever)

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

I'd sort of equate it to asking someone about their sex life or whether they have a partner or not.

 

[bhaexpress]

Perhaps you should just get on with your job and stop worrying about what other people do with their cocks and fannies.

Good point well made

 

[Hannibal smith]

'Alright Tom, Get your tits out then love, put kettle on, two sugars, thought you would do a better job ironing your blouse, I mean, shirt than that. That Cheryl Core. I would. Wood ya? Can ya? etc etc

I'd stick to just asking about pleasantaries for now and for a while yet.

 

[aftershavedave]

i'd have thought that tom had had a tough enough time of it already. it can't be easy being transexual or whatever in our society and maybe being pleasant and polite to him will be very much appreciated, i'd guess.

 

[Simster]

What is 'Tom' doing in an office? I would have thought acting was more his/her vocation.

 

[bhaexpress]

What is 'Tom' doing in an office? I would have thought acting was more his/her vocation.

I worked with a couple of transexuals a few years back at Wycombe Council. Strangely some of the men there were a bit nervous around them.

 

[Mellotron]

"So he flipped it over on it's wheels, like, and -f-f-f-f....and it started first time!"

"strangest joke I've ever heard."

 

[Lady Whistledown]

We've got a temp just started in the office, started on Monday.
"Tom"

Thing is, it's pretty clear that Tom wasn't always Tom.

So how long should I leave it before asking...
(1) How far along is it then?
(2) Which toilets will you be using?
(3) What did your real name used to be?

(1) Do you routinely ask other colleagues about any surgery they might have had?
(2) Likewise the toilets, is it really a concern of yours?
(3) Generally speaking, most married women you've ever worked with have had previous names, yet I assume you don't go around asking them what they used to be called.

Out of interest, why is it so clear? Female to male transsexuals are extremely rare, even more so than male-to-female ones, and they also tend to appear somewhat more "natural" (I hate to use that term) in their new roles, whereas unfortunately for most blokes that become women, that fact is apparent immediately to most of us with fully functioning eyes.

Maybe he started life as a bloke and is just at the start of the road towards changing to a woman, hence what you perceive to be effeminate behaviour? I'm just curious as to what makes you so sure he used to be a she: I used to know a woman who became a man and she just looked like any other teenage boy. You'd never have known her history by looking under any normal circumstances.

 

[public school boy]

Just shoot from the hip and tell the sick bastard that He, She or It is a freak of nature and should accept what God made her to be.

 

[Colossal Squid]

Just shoot from the hip and tell the sick bastard that He, She or It is a freak of nature and should accept what God made her to be.

 

[Acker79]

I do hate a limp hand shake on a bloke ( am really talking about a handshake being limp not being straight/gay/whatever)

For me a handshake is about friendship, it is meant to be a case of 'look my hand is empty, I offer you no threat'. Why undermine that by turning it into a test of strength?

 

[User removed 4]

Just shoot from the hip and tell the sick bastard that He, She or It is a freak of nature and should accept what God made her to be.

Have you ever thought of doing voluntary work? the samaritans or something similar ?

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

I do hate a limp hand shake on a bloke ( am really talking about a handshake being limp not being straight/gay/whatever)

Eddie Izzard on handshakes and salutes. Quite appropriate as the very talented Mr. Izzard is also a TV.

“You killed him man – hand squeezy death !”

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[Pavilionaire]

"strangest joke I've ever heard."

"Aaaah, ladyboys. Fascinating creatures..."

 

[Arthritic Toe]

I've worked with 2 transexuals in the past, both M->F. One of them had a wife and 2 kids. You can bet that they've been through a pretty rough time in their life if they needed to resort to going through this process. Whilst I respect their decision to do what they've done, I can never really understand how it could ever be worth the pain and anguish they've put their families through in order to solve their own problems, and how that would outweigh the option of just living with it.