[Humour] Entertaining Conspiracy Theories

[BadFish]

I've mentioned before that a friend loaned me this book https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/18617616 and that I hate-read it. I've never been so annoyed by an author's self satisfied tone. In summary, his big discovery is that a lot of West Coast rock stars of the late sixties had parents who were in the military, or who worked in weapons manufacture. From that he deduces not that this would be entirely unusual for any randomly selected group of people who's parents had been adults during WWII, but that the whole of the Laurel Canyon scene was a psy op. It's not at all clear what the intent of the operation was, but anybody who doesn't agree with him is a sheeple.

Another fun conspiracy theory hate-read was Bruce Robinson's huge tome about Jack the Ripper. Yes, that Bruce Robinson of 'Withnail & I' fame. I'd read his novel 'The Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman' and really enjoyed it and also have a bit of a thing for reading Jack the Ripper books, so bought it as soon as it came out. I don't read Jack the Ripper books because I'm interested in the case, more because I'm interested in the psychology of the amateur sleuths who write them. They nearly all decide on a suspect early on and snap Ockham's razor in their attempts to highlight everything that supports their argument and belittle or ignore everything that doesn't. I thought Patricia Cornwall's mad ramblings couldn't be surpassed for this, but Bruce did it easily, also throwing in huge amounts of angry rudeness, arrogance, tunnel vision and conspiracy theory about how and why virtually every policeman and politician in the country conspired to cover up the truth that only he is aware of.

I got to that Laural Canyon stuff through looking into Richy Edwards from the Manic Street Preachers' disappearance. Can't remember how I got there but it was something to do with music stars being picked off by the powers that be.

 

[Sid and the Sharknados]

 

[BrianB]

I've got an appointment there in a few weeks time, to go behind the scenes, as it were.

I've not had to sign any Official Secrets Act documents yet as far as I recall, so I will post photos of the nuclear launch sites and alien experimentation labs as I find them

make a note of the doors they don't let you through with shiny padlocks .

 

[Clive Walker]

Southwick tunnel on A27 is a nuclear shelter for bigwigs .
' Proof' = number of doors inside it and number of closures for ' emergency services exercises '..
could be.

Girl I worked with whose father worked for MOD confirmed this to be true

 

[Clive Walker]

Harmless cigarettes exist but tobacco companies refuse to market them due to the number of lawsuits that will arise.

 

[Clive Walker]

Diana isnt buried on that island. She was laid to rest alongside her father at the village church. Not made public as they didn’t want the tourists.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Not sure if it's a conspiracy theory but the legends of the Holy Grail being still hidden in Lewes and protected by a handful of people "in the know" are entertaining. The evidence is apparently: a Knights Templar church from the time of the Crusades being associated with the Grail being brought to the town, then when Thomas a Beckett was murdered the knights fled to the Bishop of Malling's house (the Lewes Malling, not the Kent one) and put their swords on a table, which threw them off because the Grail was on the table and rejected the murderer's weapons (the reputed table is in Anne of Cleves' house in the town). Supposedly it then ended up in the care of the priory, where it was hidden by the monks at the time of the dissolution of the monasteries, and a spring (Pinwell possibly?) that had always flowed clear started flowing red. It's said to be still there, or in the Masonic lodge, buried under the Town Hall and probably elsewhere too

I think I may know where it is buried. How else to explain the price?

[Misc] - Would you pay £1.2m for this?

How can anyone afford to buy a house in Lewes? This place only has two bedrooms, it's in need of modernisation, esp the kitchen, is overlooked by other houses, and has zero kerb appeal (in fact, it's downright ugly). Utterly insane. https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/64798460/

www.northstandchat.com

 

[Whitechapel]

When I lived in the States there were quite a few Loony Tunes people spouting all manner of CTs. Many were old like the moon landings, JFK etc but one I hadn't heard before was Michelle Obama was in fact a man - WTF ! And the Simpsons more than covered the topic.

View attachment 163272

That Simpson meme has a Pokemon in it and I'm not sure why.

Durant (Pokémon) - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia

bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net

 

[Sirnormangall]

Not sure if it's a conspiracy theory but the legends of the Holy Grail being still hidden in Lewes and protected by a handful of people "in the know" are entertaining. The evidence is apparently: a Knights Templar church from the time of the Crusades being associated with the Grail being brought to the town, then when Thomas a Beckett was murdered the knights fled to the Bishop of Malling's house (the Lewes Malling, not the Kent one) and put their swords on a table, which threw them off because the Grail was on the table and rejected the murderer's weapons (the reputed table is in Anne of Cleves' house in the town). Supposedly it then ended up in the care of the priory, where it was hidden by the monks at the time of the dissolution of the monasteries, and a spring (Pinwell possibly?) that had always flowed clear started flowing red. It's said to be still there, or in the Masonic lodge, buried under the Town Hall and probably elsewhere too

I think you’re right - I witnessed something similar after 7 pints in the Gardners last week

 

[Sirnormangall]

A friend of mine insists that old churches are really power stations that gathered, stored, and distributed "electricity from the earth's magnetic field" back in the late middle ages.

Yeah, I know, rubbish............I haven't got any mates.

If they’re cheaper than Octupus you’ll have lots of mates

 

[Sirnormangall]

Who doesn't like pizza? That's like saying you don't like sandwiches.

Anyway, two conspiracy theories to add:

1. Birds aren't real.
2. Van Cleef is an android.

In response:
1. If true, what crapped on my head in Seaford a few weeks ago?
2. No - he’s an actor in spaghetti westerns

 

[Commander]

I started that one! And the one about England not really winning the World Cup in 1966. It was faked using the sain favour of Heat

I don't think it's quite the same. Hopefully my other two posts have proved that I've no time for the 'flat earth' style conspiracies (Another group who've depressingly grown in number in the internet age), but do I think that governments lie, cheat, distort and hide facts? Of course I do - and I'm pretty sure that everyone else posting on this thread also thinks that.

But there's a difference between healthy scepticism and downright insanity. Take Covid for example. I personally feel the lockdowns were a massive mistake that have created huge long-term problems, and these far outweigh any short-term benefits that they may have had. I also think that the government twisted the 'facts' to 'prove' that they were, in fact, the best approach. I may be right, I may be wrong, but yes I was/am sceptical of the government in this respect. However I don't believe that Covid was a hoax or that it was spread by 5G masts or that the vaccines were Bill Gates injecting chips into us - that's the insanity end of the spectrum.

Hmm. It seems like you have said pretty much exactly what I said in the original post you quoted.

Although it’s no surprise we’re on similar pages, as both long-term members of the NSC ‘sensible party’.

 

[Berty23]

Goodness me. Matt le tis is going mental. His latest rabbit hole is the government organised good weather for the pandemic. For a government so many say are is competent that is pretty incredible.




While on the topic of ex sports stars losing their minds. KP has tweeted a picture showing plastic ring and no watch because he is going to London and thanking sadiq khan. Why do people pretend the central government isn’t far more responsible for societies problems? It seems the Tories are spending the build up to elections talking down our country after 14 years of their control and going scorched earth. What a time to be alive!

 

[Commander]

Goodness me. Matt le tis is going mental. His latest rabbit hole is the government organised good weather for the pandemic. For a government so many say are is competent that is pretty incredible.




While on the topic of ex sports stars losing their minds. KP has tweeted a picture showing plastic ring and no watch because he is going to London and thanking sadiq khan. Why do people pretend the central government isn’t far more responsible for societies problems? It seems the Tories are spending the build up to elections talking down our country after 14 years of their control and going scorched earth. What a time to be alive!

Wow.

The idea that the Government are anywhere near capable of doing something like this is completely laughable, even if they wanted to. They can't even keep their own PM in place for more than 5 minutes.

 

[stewart12]

struggle to get a train to run from london to near london but perfectly capable of CONTROLLING THE WEATHER

 

[raymondo]

Goodness me. Matt le tis is going mental. His latest rabbit hole is the government organised good weather for the pandemic. For a government so many say are is competent that is pretty incredible.




While on the topic of ex sports stars losing their minds. KP has tweeted a picture showing plastic ring and no watch because he is going to London and thanking sadiq khan. Why do people pretend the central government isn’t far more responsible for societies problems? It seems the Tories are spending the build up to elections talking down our country after 14 years of their control and going scorched earth. What a time to be alive!

I hope Matt Le Tis ' treatment is going well...and if not then his family and friends should book some for him

 

[sydney]

Not sure if it's a conspiracy theory but the legends of the Holy Grail being still hidden in Lewes and protected by a handful of people "in the know" are entertaining. The evidence is apparently: a Knights Templar church from the time of the Crusades being associated with the Grail being brought to the town, then when Thomas a Beckett was murdered the knights fled to the Bishop of Malling's house (the Lewes Malling, not the Kent one) and put their swords on a table, which threw them off because the Grail was on the table and rejected the murderer's weapons (the reputed table is in Anne of Cleves' house in the town). Supposedly it then ended up in the care of the priory, where it was hidden by the monks at the time of the dissolution of the monasteries, and a spring (Pinwell possibly?) that had always flowed clear started flowing red. It's said to be still there, or in the Masonic lodge, buried under the Town Hall and probably elsewhere too

hmmm , freemasons , knights templar , holy grail .......hmmmm

Bill Gates is a lunatic.

 

[Mellotron]

 

[BadFish]

I am watching the truth v Alex Jones, it is horrendous and he is horrendous.

This is where conspiracy theories cross the line.

All to sell bullshit supplements.

 

[schmunk]

Bill Gates is a lunatic.