[Humour] Entertaining Conspiracy Theories

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Hmm. June 17 start join date.

When did that “Swedish” nut job get banned?

Anyway, this will likely be him.

You just know he'll have made it his Big Brain's life's work to put one over on the mods and sneak back on here. Nothing's surer

 

[Van Cleef]

You know, a number of years ago conspiracy theories did used to feel more fun, more exotic, but most importantly, more harmless.

It feels like since the internet really came of age, certain groups of people have realised they can weaponise and monetise CTs for profit. So they’re not fun anymore.

They’re now dangerous in the hands of spectacularly thick people.

Good points we'll made.

I may have misjudged the room, but there is a rich vein of humour running through this board and I thought this thread might throw up the usual amusing posts. If it goes downhill I apologise in advance and will ask the mods to delete the thread if it does.


And then stand in the corner for a bit.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Despite it being denied by our resident bot, I'm a firm believer in the James Wilson / Glandular Fever conspiracy theory. To be fair though, I think I may have started it...

 

[beorhthelm]

the most entertaining conspiracy is chemtrails. its pretty harmless and identifies anyone who wasnt paying attention at school, not understand the basic concept of condensation. what's particularly fun is there are multiple, some conflicting, reasons and motivations. range from poisoning food/air, mind control, geo-engineering (both causing and preventing weather effects), energy weapons and hiding the incoming Nibiru planet.

 

[BrianB]

Southwick tunnel on A27 is a nuclear shelter for bigwigs .
' Proof' = number of doors inside it and number of closures for ' emergency services exercises '..
could be.

 

[Goldstone1976]

You just know he'll have made it his Big Brain's life's work to put one over on the mods and sneak back on here. Nothing's surer

He’s already done that.

Chronology:

New account created
Clocked in mod towers as being the Swede
Discussion in mod towers: do we let him back in?
Decision: yes, he may have learned his lesson
Account approved
Swede makes one post under new account: text proves he hadn’t learned his lesson, and claims he got one over the mods.
Mod points out the above chronology and bans him

Like most users who transgress sufficiently to get a perma-ban and come back under a new account, we tend to give them a second chance. A third chance? Some mods would say yes, others no I think.

 

[Mellotron]

Good points we'll made.

I may have misjudged the room, but there is a rich vein of humour running through this board and I thought this thread might throw up the usual amusing posts. If it goes downhill I apologise in advance and will ask the mods to delete the thread if it does.


And then stand in the corner for a bit.

No, you're not wrong to want to talk about it, it's just a shame the well has been poisoned so much in recent years that this thread will probably get derailed by some people missing your original point.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Southwick tunnel on A27 is a nuclear shelter for bigwigs .
' Proof' = number of doors inside it and number of closures for ' emergency services exercises '..
could be.

Only half the story, that's where they take and investigate captured UFO's and keep the aliens.

And, when you can't see the windmills from the Rampion windfarm, that is because they are full of data and have been taken into southwick tunnel for the aliens to download the data. And the person who told me this has never ever claimed to have 'titted off' the Queen and is, therefor, totally trustworthy

 

[Coldeanseagull]

He’s already done that.

Chronology:

New account created
Clocked in mod towers as being the Swede
Discussion in mod towers: do we let him back in?
Decision: yes, he may have learned his lesson
Account approved
Swede makes one post under new account: text proves he hadn’t learned his lesson, and claims he got one over the mods.
Mod points out the above chronology and bans him

Like most users who transgress sufficiently to get a perma-ban and come back under a new account, we tend to give them a second chance. A third chance? Some mods would say yes, others no I think.

I'm sure THPP originates from outer Scandinavia........just sayin' like

 

[Stato]

Plenty of fodder to choose from but my favourite has to be Australia is a made up place and Australians are all actors.

Obviously untrue. My nan used to always have 'The Sullivans' and ' A Country Practice' on ITV in the afternoons. I saw enough to know that those Australians couldn't have possibly been actors.

 

[Commander]

I never understand why someone who raises suspicions about one particular event or chain of events these days then gets labelled a 'conspiracy theorist' and therefore must clearly believe we are about to be taken over by Reptilian overlords. It's not like Governments have never covered anything up or lied about anything in the past, is it? And it plays completely in to the hand of whoever is trying to cover something up.

If someone two years ago had suggested there were elite parties going on in Downing Street with the people running the country getting drunk and socialising while the rest of us were locked down, I bet they would have received similar comments.

Somebody who thinks there are more questions to answer about who really killed JFK doesn't necessarily believe we are being fed mind-control substances fired out the back of aeroplanes.

 

[cloud]

Having witnessed first hand what happens in other countries, it would not surprise me in the least if this Government gets up to similar shenanigans.

 

[Van Cleef]

Who doesn't like pizza? That's like saying you don't like sandwiches.

Anyway, two conspiracy theories to add:

1. Birds aren't real.
2. Van Cleef is an android.

Just between me and you I do like pizza really. Just throwing a few people off the scent. Shhh.

 

[Whitechapel]

A bloke I watch on YouTube got his big break doing an Conspiracy Theory Iceberg and they’re probably my favourite ever series of videos.

For those who haven’t heard the term before, an Iceberg video is when someone takes a list of different things from one topic and sorts them in to different tiers; normally by now obscure they are, with the deeper tiers being the more obscure.

For example, a Brighton player iceberg would have Mitoma, Dunk, Mac Allister in the highest tier and Zoumana Bakayogo and Jamie Strong in the bottom tier.

Once he finished the series he put all of the videos in to one massive video which ended up being over 9 hours long. Despite hearing it before it’s definitely my favourite thing to put on if I haven’t got a podcast to listen to. Well worth a watch, starts slow but quickly goes massively off the rails.

 

[The Clamp]

Sorry. I have added another line to the OP to make it a bit clearer. It's not an attempt to stir things.


And I don't like pizza either

Odd. The pizza thing was a couple of years ago.

 

[zefarelly]

All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

 

[Brovion]

Plenty of fodder to choose from but my favourite has to be Australia is a made up place and Australians are all actors.

I started that one! And the one about England not really winning the World Cup in 1966. It was faked using the same technology as the Americans used to fake the moon landings. (All six of them, they were doing it for giggles in the end). It was the test and it was successful, so the American could go ahead with their con.

Apparently Harold Wilson wanted it as he wanted England to win the World Cup under a Labour government. In return he promised to bring Britain into the Vietnam war. He went back on his word so the CIA fixed the 1970 election in favour of Heath.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

As it’s the 18th anniversary of 7/7. There was a conspiracy theory put about by some patent nut jobs that a van from a company I part owned had something to do with the Tavistock Square bus bombing as it was next to the bus when the explosion happened. Because we specialised in controlled demotion, they immediately thought this involved explosives, which it didn’t. The abuse the staff received over the phone, as a result, was terrible.

 

[Brovion]

You know, a number of years ago conspiracy theories did used to feel more fun, more exotic, but most importantly, more harmless.

It feels like since the internet really came of age, certain groups of people have realised they can weaponise and monetise CTs for profit. So they’re not fun anymore.

They’re now dangerous in the hands of spectacularly thick people.

Yes, sadly that is a valid point. In the old days the only people who believed, say, that the contrails from jet airplanes were the government's way of spreading mind-control drugs were people who sat in the corners of pubs muttering to themselves. If you walked too near one they'd grab you and tell you not to sit too near the radiators as that's where the listening devices were. Now sadly they've used the internet to infect other sheeple who in the past were only a little gullible and a little bit dense. And yes, although we're mocking it it isn't so funny any more.

Incidentally the 'contrails' one I first heard in the 1960s when my Dad told me that some people believed it. He said that it wasn't new, when he was a boy in the 1930s people said that the government put the drugs in the water supply. Another 'airplane' one he told me, which I haven't heard recently, is that the government secretly made all commercial airplanes carry atomic bombs, so in the event of WW3 we already had a bomber fleet in the air which could be diverted to bomb targets.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

Whether she was murdered is still open to conjecture,