[Humour] Dog Bore magazine

[portlock seagull]

Cats are bird-killing users. Dogs are always hassling you for either food or attention. It's a no to both from me.

I love cats and dogs, the only Pets I dislike are MOD’s ones...

 

[Klaas]

Still hilarious IMO.

[tweet]430255032043573248[/tweet]


Cats are simply miles better. Discuss.

It's funny, because it's true.

'Don't worry, he won't bite!'

 

[Badger]

Dogs have been proven to be good for mental and physical well being . . . . most proper dog walkers are healthier than can herders.

I assume that research was done by a dog lover. I read some article about having dogs in the workplace making everyone happier too. I worked in an office which allowed dogs (see Bell Cheeses at Work thread) and it had the opposite effect. Having some slobbering, drooling, barking, yapping creature certainly didn't make me feel relaxed.

Having a dog is fine, but there's far too many dog owners who don't seem to understand there's lots of people like me who don't want to be within 10 metres of dogs. Also, a dog bark is in the top 10 most irritating sounds in the world.

People let dogs lick their face. Whenever I see that it makes me feel a little bit sick. I just can't look, it's disgusting. A dog's slobbering tongue? On your face? WTF?

 

[Two Professors]

Any decent recipes?

 

[Brovion]

Don't get me wrong, the following is certainly true:

No dog: no hassle.
Dog: some hassle.

I think our family life, including my own personal physical and mental health - improved by spending a few hours most days walking or running over the Downs with him - is better for having our lab.

I agree. And whilst we are guilty of treating our three dogs as furry humans (sorry Simster), it's not quite the same as having children. We can quite happily go out for the evening and leave the dogs on their own. They've got each other for company and when we come back they're not howling the place down. You can't really do that with three kids under the age of ten.

 

[GOM]

Grew up with dogs within the family, never actually owned one outright, still a joy to have.
But as we now have an indoor cat, it's great, I get to have conversations with him in the morning before going to work at some ungodly hour.
Company for Mrs AR, when I'm on nights.
When he goes bat shit crazy, running around the house being out witted by a fly or moth.
At first he only ate wet food, resorting in him having a dump and the smell was like something from Croydon.
Now on dry food, no smell at all.

You do not have an 'indoor cat' you simply have a cat that you don't allow out. Caged animals in zoos probably have more space to live in.

 

[el punal]

Observe my avatar - my Boxer Maisie. The best excuse for going down the pub, with the additional bonus of exercise by way of walking her ladyship. Double bubble! She loves it down at the boozer, gets loads of treats and attention and I just get on and drink my pint. No answering back from her, just complete love and devotion - what could be better?

 

[Simster]

No answering back from her, just complete love and devotion - what could be better?

No dog at all, just peace and quiet in the pub with a pint.

 

[Badger]

The best excuse for going down the pub, with the additional bonus of exercise by way of walking her ladyship.

I get exercise from walking to the pub without a dog, with the additional bonus of not having to stop every 10 seconds to wait for a dog to sniff something. Plus, I don't have to pick up any warm TURDS with a plastic bag.

 

[el punal]

No dog at all, just peace and quiet in the pub with a pint.

In that case I recommend the Albion, next to Winchester train station. It’s owned by Flowerpots Brewery based at Cheriton (I think I’ve got that right). I walked in and there were twelve blokes all sat separately, all nursing their pints and not a murmur. I reckon there’d be more noise in a Trappist monk’s library. Shhh!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

In that case I recommend the Albion, next to Winchester train station. It’s owned by Flowerpots Brewery based at Cheriton (I think I’ve got that right). I walked in and there were twelve blokes all sat separately, all nursing their pints and not a murmur. I reckon there’d be more noise in a Trappist monk’s library. Shhh!

Blimey, you're RICH, if you can afford a pint in there.

 

[Simster]

In that case I recommend the Albion, next to Winchester train station. It’s owned by Flowerpots Brewery based at Cheriton (I think I’ve got that right). I walked in and there were twelve blokes all sat separately, all nursing their pints and not a murmur. I reckon there’d be more noise in a Trappist monk’s library. Shhh!

Funnily enough, I know the pub and I know Cheriton.

 

[Easy 10]

In that case I recommend the Albion, next to Winchester train station. It’s owned by Flowerpots Brewery based at Cheriton (I think I’ve got that right). I walked in and there were twelve blokes all sat separately, all nursing their pints and not a murmur. I reckon there’d be more noise in a Trappist monk’s library. Shhh!

Sounds like bliss.

Ideally the only thing I want to take with me down the pub is my sports pullout.

 

[AmexRuislip]

You do not have an 'indoor cat' you simply have a cat that you don't allow out. Caged animals in zoos probably have more space to live in.

Afternoon David Attenborough, last time I looked, we DO have an indoor cat, that we do not allow out.

Bloody pedant.

 

[Mellotron]

I like both, but slightly prefer Cats. My analogy (which I feel holds up fairly well) is thus;

Imagine your local pub, and that you pop in there most days (other issues there I know, but stay focused please);

The Cat is the guy you exchange nods with as you walk into the pub. He's a decent guy, sometimes you have some really good times together, sometimes it's just a casual passing nod. A very low maintenance friendship that is easy to maintain.

Meanwhile, The Dog is the stinking drunk who immediately jumps all over you as you walk into the bar - you can smell a combination of genitalia and actual faeces on his breath. He won't leave you alone, and is very friendly and generous, but in an incredibly overbearing way - has to be involved with everything you do, and is embarrassingly needy. A supremely nice guy, sure, but a bit of a pain to be honest. Very high maintenance.

 

[schmunk]

 

[Chicken Run]

I like both, but slightly prefer Cats. My analogy (which I feel holds up fairly well) is thus;

Imagine your local pub, and that you pop in there most days (other issues there I know, but stay focused please);

The Cat is the guy you exchange nods with as you walk into the pub. He's a decent guy, sometimes you have some really good times together, sometimes it's just a casual passing nod. A very low maintenance friendship that is easy to maintain. You later find out he’s a serial killer though, who’d have thought it eh.

Meanwhile, The Dog is the stinking drunk who immediately jumps all over you as you walk into the bar - you can smell a combination of genitalia and actual faeces on his breath. He won't leave you alone, and is very friendly and generous, but in an incredibly overbearing way - has to be involved with everything you do, and is embarrassingly needy. A supremely nice guy, sure, but a bit of a pain to be honest. Very high maintenance.

Edited slightly for you

 

[Simster]

Edited slightly for you

Even serial killers can be a nice guy, mate.

It's a bit like what Alan Partridge said about the Titanic voyage - people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg.

 

[Palacefinder General]

Edited slightly for you

So they both eat murdered animals....err...

 

[Chicken Run]

Even serial killers can be a nice guy, mate.

Exactly, don’t trust em, behind the fluffy exterior lurks a sinister killer who takes no prisoners.

You know where you stand with a hound.