Does anyone have mental health problems?

[Stoo82]

Have you been there?

I've never been stuck in bed for months on end. But I do have bouts of depression from time to time. A couple of weeks ago I had two days stuck on my sofa with nothing but negative thoughts running through my mind and no inclination to get out of it.

That's my problem, I can be happy go lucky from one min and then depressed the next. It's very much out of the blue for me. Depression comes and then I find a reason to be derpressed about it.

It's something I've been like for as long as I can remember and something I will deal with for the rest of my days. I am on a low dose of medication, something I never wanted, and have had CBT. The medication takes the edge off things and while not a magic cure, helps me to think clearer whent he time comes. CBT was one of the best things I ever did. As there is nothing I got depressed about, it was useful to explain to another person how my mind was working and for them to explain to me ways of countering that.

The worst thing about my MH issues is the effect it has on my relationships. Only in the last 3 years or so have I sought help with it all, but before that I would get depressed and, defending my own mind, I would destroy everything around me. It's like I couldn't take the abuse I gave myself, so I projected it onto other people. Heaven knows why I did it and I only have myself to blame, but for me, it was impossible to know I was having an episode until it was far far to late.

But the trick is to except your own limitations. You are not perfect, you are not defined by your thoughts and never, ever give up.

 

[ManOfSussex]

The only reason I brought this up is because I am feeling suicidal

Go to A&E or phone 999.

 

[Stoo82]

The only reason I brought this up is because I am feeling suicidal

Why are you feeling suicidal?

 

[Insel affe]

The only reason I brought this up is because I am feeling suicidal

It is a cut and paste yes, but I read it from time to time and have it saved on my computer at work and home.

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.


Start by considering this statement:

Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.


Don't accept it if someone tells you, "That's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.


Now I want to share with you five things to think about...

1
You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2
Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3
People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4
Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
Call the Samaritans
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
Call a psychotherapist
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5
Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.



Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.


Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I'd like you to call someone please

Psychobilly Freakout

 

[Sussex Nomad]

I won't kill myself, sorry for being a drama queen. I am massively down right now, I didn't mean this to be a thread like that. Sorry

 

[Stoo82]

I won't kill myself, sorry for being a drama queen. I am massively down right now, I didn't mean this to be a thread like that. Sorry

I hear you. Not a drama queen.

You are allowed to feel down. Have you got a plan in place when the worst of it comes? Coming on here and talking about it is a good start. I used to talk to http://www.samaritans.org/.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Psychobilly Freakout

Thank you

 

[Sussex Nomad]

I hear you. Not a drama queen.

You are allowed to feel down. Have you got a plan in place when the worst of it comes? Coming on here and talking about it is a good start. I used to talk to http://www.samaritans.org/.

I'm cool mate

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Yes, and you have shocked me.

Sorry Jim I am a massive depressive.

 

[Bring back Bryan wade!!]

I'd wager the number that have diagnosed mental health issues will be outnumbered by those with undiagnosed ones.

^^^ VMT

 

[Stoo82]

I'm cool mate

Good to hear. I have this poem framed and I like to read it from time to time.

Invictus, by William E Henley

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be, For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years, Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

 

[StonehamPark]

Spring is just around the corner (Summer dress season!)
Brighton are 2nd in the league with 14 games left.
Kermorgant to get roasted on Saturday.
The Crystal Palace is falling apart (in more ways than one).

I'm not going to post my experience with MH, but [MENTION=17215]Sussex Nomad[/MENTION] knows the deal.

Look for the little things in life that can help just a little bit.
Take each step slowly and look for the small positives to get you through, and start to look forward to.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Spring is just around the corner (Summer dress season!)
Brighton are 2nd in the league with 14 games left.
Kermorgant to get roasted on Saturday.
The Crystal Palace is falling apart (in more ways than one).

I'm not going to post my experience with MH, but [MENTION=17215]Sussex Nomad[/MENTION] knows the deal.

Look for the little things in life that can help just a little bit.
Take each step slowly and look for the small positives to get you through, and start to look forward to.

Fantastic, but Knocky keeps me alive.

 

[ThePompousPaladin]

.... Why are you so keen to admit to it on this forum and invite others to do so?

I haven't read all the replies to your post, so apologies if this has already been addressed...

Your post/s come across as ignorant, surely you're aware of the stigma surrounding mental health issues? Your post/s are reinforcing that stigma, Nomads is lessening it.

Take a look at yourself?

 

[wigman]

Sorry Jim I am a massive depressive.

Sorry to hear this mate.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

I'm sorry I had a real moment and I promise you I am not a drama queen. Jimbo, my good mate Jimbo [MENTION=5252]wigman[/MENTION] has known me all his life and he had no idea about me, go figure. I just wanted to know I'm not alone. But yes I do have feelings of ending it all. I have had some fantastic private messages, thank you.

This thread is NOT about me guys

 

[Randsta]

I think I suffer from Anxiety; but think it's quite low level tbh and booze always helps .....that doesn't sound good!

 

[Insel affe]

I won't kill myself, sorry for being a drama queen. I am massively down right now, I didn't mean this to be a thread like that. Sorry

Being apologetic is something you don't need to do, admitting it and starting here is the first and most important step....

Now take the next one, don't ignore it take it.

You are not alone, You are not unique, You are not a drama queen, take it fella phone...

 

[ThePompousPaladin]

I think I suffer from Anxiety; but think it's quite low level tbh and booze always helps .....that doesn't sound good!

That's really common, a lot of people with anxiety use booze. That's what i used during my 20's...

Nowadays i use meditation.

 

[TSB]

What football fan doesn't?
We're all superstitious weirdos.

But yes: chronic and sometimes crippling anxiety and panic.

Good thread