Do you think its right to smack kids?

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

I don't have kids but work with them and so ofcourse I wouldn't smack them. I find the most effective thing at getting their attention/disciplining them is a GOOD HARD STARE.

Not the same AP...Ive worked with kids and teenagers all my life and never touched them.

 

[dannyboy]

another point , i was smacked alot and over disciplined as a kid. did it do me any harm ? yes it did in my opinion . i wasnt very happy as a child and as an adult am probably more aggressive than most and more likely to resort to violence in an argument. this is something i hate but seem to be able to control the older i get (40 now). this i directly attribute to being harshly and excessively disciplined as a kid .

so think twice about the longer lasting effects on the child

 

[bhaexpress]

The problem with smacking kids is know when to do it and not out of anger. However it's quite true that there are too many people trying to tell parents how to bring up their kids.

 

[severnside gull]

I don't think you should ever give kids smack






.....or any other class A drugs for that matter





seriously. I have spent most of my life working with young people and never saw a situation where violence would make things better. I was a "battered child" at home and it did nothing for me any more than "smacks" off teachers helped me to "enjoy" my education.

Purely verbal chastisement - a clear and unequivocal "no" as opposed to bullying - is effective especially when supported by a clear explanation of what is acceptable and what is not and why. Use appropriate body language to express distress or disappointment by all means. Explanations alone do not work as effectively. The simple word "no" must always be included and is regrettably the one word that many parents seem reluctant to use.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

The problem with smacking kids is you are instilling this in them as a way of dealing with life's "situations", additionally what do you do when "the light tap" doesn't work anymore? The path from light tap, to a "good ol' smack" to child abuse is too easy to progress along.

The best way of dealing with them is to show them that their actions have consequences, i.e. you hit your Brother you lose something so you understand it was wrong, I now have a cupboard with a DS Lite, Superman, Buz Lightyear, Match Attack stickers, Albion Season Ticket, numerous sweets and .....

It does work, you just need to be patient!

 

[dannyboy]

The problem with smacking kids is you are instilling this in them as a way of dealing with life's "situations", additionally what do you do when "the light tap" doesn't work anymore? The path from light tap, to a "good ol' smack" to child abuse is too easy to progress along.

The best way of dealing with them is to show them that their actions have consequences, i.e. you hit your Brother you lose something so you understand it was wrong, I now have a cupboard with a DS Lite, Superman, Buz Lightyear, Match Attack stickers, Albion Season Ticket, numerous sweets and .....

It does work, you just need to be patient!

ithought it was a punishment?

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

The problem with smacking kids is you are instilling this in them as a way of dealing with life's "situations", additionally what do you do when "the light tap" doesn't work anymore? The path from light tap, to a "good ol' smack" to child abuse is too easy to progress along.

The best way of dealing with them is to show them that their actions have consequences, i.e. you hit your Brother you lose something so you understand it was wrong, I now have a cupboard with a DS Lite, Superman, Buz Lightyear, Match Attack stickers, Albion Season Ticket, numerous sweets and .....

It does work, you just need to be patient!

Been there..done that... 14 barbies and a whole collection of DVDs later .... its all very well in theory but it depends on your child. My wife is stubborn... I am stubborn... ergo stubborn child who knows that toys coem and go.

I restate - hurting is out of order but parenting is a constant pursuit of finding the right method to discipline children without using the easy way out.

 

[Return of the Rev]

its not a case of smack or not,its a case of a line and when that line is crossed there are consequences,the line seems to get moved so the kids just have no idea about behaviour

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

ithought it was a punishment?

Alas that's the way he looks at it also.

Maybe the Season Ticket should come out if he's naughty ... You may be on to something.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

I was smacked as a kid, and wasn't against doing it as a parent. Now I have kids I just don't think it's a very effective thing to do. Particularly for young kids.

How would smacking my 18 month old teach him not to hit his sister?

Same for me. I always thought I would occasionally smack my kids, but now I have one I just don't see it being effective. There are other ways

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Been there..done that... 14 barbies and a whole collection of DVDs later .... its all very well in theory but it depends on your child. My wife is stubborn... I am stubborn... ergo stubborn child who knows that toys coem and go.

I restate - hurting is out of order but parenting is a constant pursuit of finding the right method to discipline children without using the easy way out.

You are so right, although I'm making light of it we do this along with other things that they feel are disadvantaguous, i.e. swimming, trips to Pizzas Express, bed times, there are many ways in which you can take something away without resorting to violence. Our 4 year old is very stubborn and will always brush off the occassional loss of a favourite toy but tell him he's going to bed early and you gain his attention fairly quickly.

You're right though we all deal with things differently.

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

I've always thought it peculiar that you could hit a child but that if you hit an adult you would be arrested for assault.

I think there are far more effective punishments, but they have to be seen through.

 

[magoo]

I'm not a parent but it's obvious to me judging by kids in my family and programs in the media that smacking doesn't work, it just teaches the child not to get caught again. It's also been proven that it teaches them that if they don't get their own way with friends then a smack is the answer.

I am close to children in my family and the most effective punishment has always been a grounding or removal of privelidges.

If you're an intelligent adult you can discipline a child without violence. I know it's easy to say when in the heat of the moment you find it hard not to lash out but that's the adults problem not the childs.

 

[DIFFBROOK]

I thought I would never smack a child, infact promised myself I wouldn’t for all the reasons people have mentioned.

But, after countless times telling my little one not to run away from me, my patience just snapped. She ran off near cars and I was very frightened and angry and I got hold of her and smacked her bum. Not hard, but the surprise of me doing it frightened her as well. She balled her eyes out and I shouted at her not to run off like that again cos of the dangers.

Yes, she apologised and yes she does not run off and to a large extent it worked. But a little later she was playing with her dolls and pretending one had done something wrong, she then asked me to smack the doll. So what else have I taught her?

I’m not comfortable with smacking and I would never use it for every day things. But I think there are occasions when a small smack is the only answer i.e when the consequences of disobeying could be serious. A naughty step or going to bed early wouldn’t work in the situation above, as punishment for not doing as you are told needs to happen immediately.

As children get older, punishments such as naughty steps, loss of privileges, grounding etc have far more impact, as children look further ahead.

Being a parent is never easy.

 

[Starry]

never any excuse.

have managed to parent our eight kids and never once have we felt the need to use violence as a form of discipline to our children.

i wouldn't smack my adult brother for answering back, running off, drawing on the wall, just because my kids are smaller i wouldn't to them either.

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

I thought I would never smack a child, infact promised myself I wouldn’t for all the reasons people have mentioned.

But, after countless times telling my little one not to run away from me, my patience just snapped. She ran off near cars and I was very frightened and angry and I got hold of her and smacked her bum. Not hard, but the surprise of me doing it frightened her as well. She balled her eyes out and I shouted at her not to run off like that again cos of the dangers.

Yes, she apologised and yes she does not run off and to a large extent it worked. But a little later she was playing with her dolls and pretending one had done something wrong, she then asked me to smack the doll. So what else have I taught her?

I’m not comfortable with smacking and I would never use it for every day things. But I think there are occasions when a small smack is the only answer i.e when the consequences of disobeying could be serious. A naughty step or going to bed early wouldn’t work in the situation above, as punishment for not doing as you are told needs to happen immediately.

As children get older, punishments such as naughty steps, loss of privileges, grounding etc have far more impact, as children look further ahead.

Being a parent is never easy.

this.

 

[gullshark]

I'm 50/50 about this - I can't remember being smacked as a child more than a couple of times but what I *do* remember more is being not allowed to go out and play with my friends, having TV time taken away and the power lead taken from my old Atari - I think these were a better punishment.

 

[Manny]

Maybe i've been really lucky but the thought has never entered my head to smack either of my kids. Both have been very good and thankfully i've never had to even consider it. My son is 14 now and nearly as big as me, if the situation were to arise now i dont think i would smack him for fear of getting one back lol

 

[Simster]

I thought I would never smack a child, infact promised myself I wouldn’t for all the reasons people have mentioned.

But, after countless times telling my little one not to run away from me, my patience just snapped. She ran off near cars and I was very frightened and angry and I got hold of her and smacked her bum. Not hard, but the surprise of me doing it frightened her as well. She balled her eyes out and I shouted at her not to run off like that again cos of the dangers.

Yes, she apologised and yes she does not run off and to a large extent it worked. But a little later she was playing with her dolls and pretending one had done something wrong, she then asked me to smack the doll. So what else have I taught her?

I’m not comfortable with smacking and I would never use it for every day things. But I think there are occasions when a small smack is the only answer i.e when the consequences of disobeying could be serious. A naughty step or going to bed early wouldn’t work in the situation above, as punishment for not doing as you are told needs to happen immediately.

As children get older, punishments such as naughty steps, loss of privileges, grounding etc have far more impact, as children look further ahead.

Being a parent is never easy.

This.

 

[Simster]

never any excuse.

have managed to parent our eight kids and never once have we felt the need to use violence as a form of discipline to our children.

i wouldn't smack my adult brother for answering back, running off, drawing on the wall, just because my kids are smaller i wouldn't to them either.