[Food] Do you stand or sit when wiping your behind after doing a poo?

[albionfan37]

Standing to wipe your @rse is about as weird as you can get! If I had a mate who said they stood I’d seriously consider getting shot of em

 

[Guinness Boy]

Stand, otherwise there is no way my butler can access the required area.

Sent from my H8314 using Tapatalk

 

[dazzer6666]

Precisely

 

[METALMICKY]

Stand and fold the paper. Anything else is just wrong!

 

[Easy 10]

How do you apply the water?

Hand water arse?
Hand paper water arse?

Fair question

Indeed it is. I'm not sure how my puckered brown balloon knot would react to water as an actual cleanser - doesn't that just smear the claggage ?

I prefer to go in DRY.

 

[BN9 BHA]

You need to up your drugs dose

I know some people on here have an ignore list, I have a weirdo posters list and he's definitely at the top of it.

 

[Ludensian Gull]

Sit. Always sit.

If you stand your arse cheeks squish together making access a bit of an issue. Surely?

This is the correct answer surely ..

 

[Seagull kimchi]

How do you apply the water?

Hand water arse?
Hand paper water arse?

Depends on the facilities - a shower hose is preferable, or one of those fancy seats with little jets of water. Usually just a plastic jug will suffice.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Just after I've throttled a black man I'lI stand up, turn around and put one leg proudly on the toilet bowl (adopting a pose rather like the Captain Morgan character, with his foot on a barrel of rum, but minus the cutlass). I then fold 4 pieces of paper for the initial wipe (front to back OBVS), then 3 pieces for the subsequent ones, until my rusty sheriff's badge is once more prestine and clear of all clag, tagnuts and winnits. Job done.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I know some people on here have an ignore list, I have a weirdo posters list and he's definitely at the top of it.

Thinking of adding OP to my ignore list. I find the slow passage over time of mental disintegration an icky narrative on a football forum.

 

[symyjym]

Depends on the facilities - a shower hose is preferable, or one of those fancy seats with little jets of water. Usually just a plastic jug will suffice.

Sadly not everyone has a toilet next to the shower or have toilets fitted with water jets.

My question is how does it work with a plastic jug? Surely just poring water down your arse crack and hoping for the best isn't efficient? Or does the jug of water technique take two people?

 

[clapham_gull]

Too simplistic a question as context is everything.

 

[Is it PotG?]

Christmas Gift Idea



https://www.toilettwinning.org/giftset/1/

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Sadly not everyone has a toilet next to the shower or have toilets fitted with water jets.

My question is how does it work with a plastic jug? Surely just poring water down your arse crack and hoping for the best isn't efficient? Or does the jug of water technique take two people?

In Korea and Japan the fancy toilet seats are standard.

In South-East Asia the toilet shower hose is standard.

In Central Asia the tap and jug is most common, as are squat toilets. When you are squatting you can pour 2 or 3 jugs of water down your crack and flush your arse clean then dry your buttocks with a towel.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I know some people on here have an ignore list, I have a weirdo posters list and he's definitely at the top of it.

Who? SIMMO?

 

[LamieRobertson]

Who? SIMMO?

Doubtful... unless thats what you are calling yourself

 

[Albion my Albion]

Doubtful... unless thats what you are calling yourself

I believe I'm referred to as the nameless weirdo poster.

 

[Trufflehound]

In Korea and Japan the fancy toilet seats are standard.

In South-East Asia the toilet shower hose is standard.

In Central Asia the tap and jug is most common, as are squat toilets. When you are squatting you can pour 2 or 3 jugs of water down your crack and flush your arse clean then dry your buttocks with a towel.

Indeed. The common reaction of most people in Asia to the Western obsession with paper is: "Why on Earth would you want to preserve the shit for posterity?"

 

[Wilko]

I cannot believe that some people just sit there blindly waving their hand about underneath in the mere hope that they may be able to catch all the detritus.

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Indeed. The common reaction of most people in Asia to the Western obsession with paper is: "Why on Earth would you want to preserve the shit for posterity?"

Well, quite so. There is a common saying amongst Indian fellows.

'Why do all the stray dogs follow the tourists?'

'Because they don't know how to clean their bottoms properly.'