[Finance] Divorce

[amexer]

How can solicitors justify £25k Assume that is for a very long winded case that ends in court

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

This remind me of the Chris Rock gag:

Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world, he is so rich he got divorced and he is still the richest man in the world.

 

[Weststander]

How can solicitors justify £25k Assume that is for a very long winded case that ends in court

15 years ago, a friend/client ended up paying £200k in legals and experts in a divorce.

Assets including a business were worth £1.2m. The wife walked on him and following advice from her new boyfriend, chose a City firm of lawyers, who in turn used City based chartered surveyors and accountants. Letters and endless questions came in waves, ching ching. With court costs it really did add up to £200k.

Madness. She didn’t get a bean more than originally suggested.

 

[Alba Badger]

15 years ago, a friend/client ended up paying £200k in legals and experts in a divorce.

Assets including a business were worth £1.2m. The wife walked on him and following advice from her new boyfriend, chose a City firm of lawyers, who in turn used City based chartered surveyors and accountants. Letters and endless questions came in waves, ching ching. With court costs it really did up to £200k.

Madness. She didn’t get a bean more than originally suggested.

Ouch!

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Eh? What is this marriage trap you're talking about?

Are you suggesting it's best to have kids without getting married? Of the people I know who have split up, the one who fared the worst was the one who wasn't married and had a kid. Seeing his son became practically impossible and his life was basically ruined.

Don't get me started on kids..

 

[Triggaaar]

Don't get me started on kids..

So you don't think anyone should have kids. Thankfully a lot of people disagree with you.

 

[Bozza]

Some good advice here. The offers of help mean loads thank you!

The issue I have is, there isn't loads of equity so spending £25k in the courts would be over a 3rd of what I'm getting so would it be worth going to court to possibly only get a few quid more? I'm not sure it will. The advice someone gave me was this, "look at the amount you agree out of court and mentally add another £25k on to it, because that's what going to court WILL cost, if that amount sounds about fair enough then take it." it's not just the financial cost, also the stress and time. Not sure I could face that just to "win" a few quid more.

Worth thinking about the fact that she'd also have to pay £25k in legal fees and that would basically give her next to no chance of getting property with the kids. I'd happily see her in that situation but not my boys. no way.

As it stands, 75/25% I'll get about £62,500 she'll get £187,500. That split look like a huge kick in the nuts, but taking the above into account, If I were to spent £25k to take her to court, would I get £87,500 a 65/35% split? From the legal advice I have had it's pretty unlikely I'd even get that! So court wouldn't be worth is for either of us. I had to really fight for the 25% clean break and that was just in mediation. It took a lot out of me mentally. As much as it stings, the more I think it all the more I see it that in the long run it's probably the best I'll get.

The good news is with this clean break, if I stay in the low cost rented accommodation I'm in, I'll be about £350 better off when the property is sold because I was paying for the whole mortgage on the old property. If can put that aside and try and top it up over the next 2 years or so i could add to my deposit. Hopefully the slump will be over my then and borrowing costs will have come down and I can get a cheaper mortgage. I also will be in a good position to spot a possible bargain in the housing market. if there is such a thing! Trying to look at the positives.

I can't remember the split when I got divorced. All I can recall is I offered up most of what we had to ensure that my (ex-)wife and, more importantly, my daughter were able to live comfortably. We avoided any sort of legal involvement, keeping what we'd earned between us and not channeled to lawyers. It sounds like you have the same underlying motivation, which is the right way to be.

However, I did end up spending money on a solicitor and a barrister when my ex-wife decided she wanted to move to Dubai, taking my daughter with her. Again, I can't remember the specific amount I spent, but it was in the region of £60-70k. The bills mount up VERY quickly and, as you, say, there is considerable stress in this as well - the dread every time an email or letter arrived and what it could mean. I think you're right to want to avoid legal intervention if you possibly can.

 

[GT49er]

Ex-wife earned much more than I did, though I paid all the mortgage and household bills from my salary. She also had a couple of inheritances which I only heard about from the kids. I stayed put and refused to budge - she had to move out and buy her own house. When I could afford it (parents passed away leaving me a share of their house), I bought out her share of the house I am still living in.
The solicitor I employed to do the conveyancing kept writing to her begging her to try and take me for more than her share, but to be fair the ex kept to the agreed settlement. I told the solicitor in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't be using her again - and wouldn't advise anybody else to use her either!

 

[Stephen Seagull]

Some mad stories in this thread. How some spouses can justify what they get beggars belief and there seems to be absolutely no protection for the people involved, only looking after one side.

I do have a question and can't remember who put it, What's Spousal? I get a % of pension but is spousal effectively paying your ex a wage in perpetuity? How could that even be considered?

 

[nwgull]

Some good advice here. The offers of help mean loads thank you!

The issue I have is, there isn't loads of equity so spending £25k in the courts would be over a 3rd of what I'm getting so would it be worth going to court to possibly only get a few quid more? I'm not sure it will. The advice someone gave me was this, "look at the amount you agree out of court and mentally add another £25k on to it, because that's what going to court WILL cost, if that amount sounds about fair enough then take it." it's not just the financial cost, also the stress and time. Not sure I could face that just to "win" a few quid more.

Worth thinking about the fact that she'd also have to pay £25k in legal fees and that would basically give her next to no chance of getting property with the kids. I'd happily see her in that situation but not my boys. no way.

As it stands, 75/25% I'll get about £62,500 she'll get £187,500. That split look like a huge kick in the nuts, but taking the above into account, If I were to spent £25k to take her to court, would I get £87,500 a 65/35% split? From the legal advice I have had it's pretty unlikely I'd even get that! So court wouldn't be worth is for either of us. I had to really fight for the 25% clean break and that was just in mediation. It took a lot out of me mentally. As much as it stings, the more I think it all the more I see it that in the long run it's probably the best I'll get.

The good news is with this clean break, if I stay in the low cost rented accommodation I'm in, I'll be about £350 better off when the property is sold because I was paying for the whole mortgage on the old property. If can put that aside and try and top it up over the next 2 years or so i could add to my deposit. Hopefully the slump will be over my then and borrowing costs will have come down and I can get a cheaper mortgage. I also will be in a good position to spot a possible bargain in the housing market. if there is such a thing! Trying to look at the positives.

Sounds like you’re being very pragmatic and sensible. I can imagine that it might be slightly annoying that she’s getting 3x the assets, but a clean break really is the best thing. Enjoy the freedom to do what you want and life away from the stresses that caused you to divorce.

There’s no way I’ll be getting married again. There really is no point.

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

I feel for you. It’s a horrible time but please know as someone who’s gone through it, it does get better. You’re right to try and avoid going to court if at all possible but your legal representative, and you absolutely must have one, should argue that 75% to 25% is still grossly unfair. One thought, and I don’t know how old you are, but if she won’t budge on the numbers, you agree to the 75% now, on condition that when your ex wife sells her new place in say, 10, 15 or how many years it’ll be, OR when she’s 60, (which ever comes first) she then has to give you the remainder of your share, say, another 20-25%. That way she gets what she wants and needs now and you know that you’ll get a fairer share later.

 

[Vaughan Storm]

I find it amazing that blokes are still falling into the marriage trap tbh

Turns into trouble a third of the time

 

[raymondo]

15 years ago, a friend/client ended up paying £200k in legals and experts in a divorce.

Assets including a business were worth £1.2m. The wife walked on him and following advice from her new boyfriend, chose a City firm of lawyers, who in turn used City based chartered surveyors and accountants. Letters and endless questions came in waves, ching ching. With court costs it really did add up to £200k.

Madness. She didn’t get a bean more than originally suggested.

Wow, it was just burning money.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Don't get me started on kids..

I didn't know what happiness was until I had kids














... and then it was too late

 

[East Staffs Gull]

I didn't know what happiness was until I had kids














... and then it was too late

Are you Jimmy Savile?

 

[NooBHA]

I find it amazing that blokes are still falling into the marriage trap tbh

You don't need to be married to get stung financially at a separation. I can attest to that. TWICE

 

[nwgull]

Turns into trouble a third of the time

I think it’s higher than that now, isn’t it? And that doesn’t account for the number of people living in miserable marriages because they feel some sort of religious/moral obligation to their vows or, more likely, the financial cost of separation and divorce.

 

[Vaughan Storm]

I think it’s higher than that now, isn’t it? And that doesn’t account for the number of people living in miserable marriages because they feel some sort of religious/moral obligation to their vows or, more likely, the financial cost of separation and divorce.

I don't really know, that's the most common figure I've heard but I guess there's a lot of men that won't divorce because they know they'll lose so much money and assets from it

 

[Live by the sea]

I find it amazing that blokes are still falling into the marriage trap tbh

If you want children you should def get married , better for your kids ( they are not illegitimate) and better for your rights if it goes belly up ,

 

[nwgull]

If you want children you should def get married , better for your kids ( they are not illegitimate) and better for your rights if it goes belly up ,

In what way? If your name is on the birth (or adoption) certificate then you have the same parental rights as if you were married.