In fact I thought we'd lost when they equalised and especially when it went to penalties. It seemed to have an inevitability that we were going to lose as we had so often. I had a very familiar feeling during extra time. To win from there just feels incredible.
I wouldn't quite go as far as thinking that was the end, no chance, but close. The stress had been building for an hour, and I just wanted it over with. I didn't even celebrate when we won, I just shook.
Not going to lie, I wavered, but I genuinely believed that England would win a shoot out in this tournament and I held my nerve. When Colombia missed the subsequent penalty I knew we'd win.
Absolutely convinced we were out. Especially after the way ET went, that first period in particular we just looked like we'd totally gone.
The penalties come along and I think I said out loud "lets just fvcking get this over with then". And that utter usless Tyldesly so helpfully bringing to our attention during Hendersons run-up that "he's not taken a penalty for 3 years, he doesn't take penalties" just reinforced the inevitable and familiar sense of impending doom and trauma.
I was tempted to whiz up an in-play and properly lump on just before the pens started, it felt like it'd be buying money. If I never see us in a penalty shootout again it'll be too soon. Hate them.
I did the same, I came in thinking it was all over (as they say) and the hush meant we were out only to see the brilliant save and the only decent thing Eric Dier did last night.
But I had already 'made peace' with us going out when they equalised. I had punched the floor, kicked pillows. Shouted at my wife for laughing at my reaction. Downed 2 gins. and then calmly acknowledged that we were out.
I watched the whole of extra time in a daze.
"Oh. Of course its penalties"
JH missed and I didn't even flinch.
"Here we go. Now, what shall I get out for dinner tomorrow?"
I was actually a little bit annoyed at their chap for hitting the bar. "don't make me believe" I thought.
And then it happened. I went BAT SHIT and I genuinely couldn't go to bed until about 2am because of the adrenaline.
No, I felt really confident throughout extra time and penalties, it just felt like we were going to do it. I guess the hundred pints I'd had all evening helped, it must have been pushing 4 in the morning by that point, but I just felt very confident.
I think all of our other penalty shoot-out defeats have come after backs to the wall defensive performances to get through extra time, whereas we were the team in control of this game and we simply deserved it more.
It did help that the very next taker slammed his penalty into the post, of course
I thought we'd just about got away with retreating into our own half, eleven men behind the ball and all that - and then they scored. I was pessimistic after that, although I thought we played the second half of extra time the way we should have played the second half of normal time. Expected the worst when penalties arrived.