[Misc] dealing with depression

[8049]

I've suffered from mild to severe depression on and off most of my adult life and can relate to your current situation. I've had a few times where just the thought of going to work is overwhelming.

The advice from others on here as been great (apart from Mr Banana). The only couple of things I would add are:

Don't rule out taking medication - it may not be a complete cure but it can help you get to a place where you have the energy and desire to do the things (lifestyle changes, counselling) that will get you better. It might not get you out of the tunnel, or help you see the light at the end of the tunnel but it will help you deal with being in the tunnel and plan the steps you need to get out.

Secondly, be kind to yourself. Depression is an illness just like pneumonia or glandular fever. When you have a physical illness, you don't beat yourself up for not being able to do things or for getting tired quicker or not getting better. It's exactly the same with depression. You can (and will) get better but it will take time. If you're able to accept that and take the pressure off yourself then it might help you get better quicker.

Good luck and keep us up to date on how things are going.

 

[Eeyore]

If they're your bosses they haven't got a choice. It's the rules, legally.

Talking to people tends to elicit a lot of virtue signalling. Give it a few months and you'll never hear from anyone.

Thankfully that hasn't been my experience. So best not to parade it as normal. If that has been your own then I'm sorry to hear that. But most folk are good and even they don't understand they try to.

 

[crabface]

If they're your bosses they haven't got a choice. It's the rules, legally.

Talking to people tends to elicit a lot of virtue signalling. Give it a few months and you'll never hear from anyone.

I assume you are trolling if not, Im not sure this thread is for you. Everything you have said is contradicatory to what should be done and what will happen if you talk to people.

The first step to getting out of a bout of depression is to talk to people and visit your GP.

 

[Bold Seagull]

If they're your bosses they haven't got a choice. It's the rules, legally.

Talking to people tends to elicit a lot of virtue signalling. Give it a few months and you'll never hear from anyone.

I'm not sure cynicism is going to help. You sound pretty down yourself from your couple of posts. There is a difference between virtue signalling and showing concern. Life does go on, after grief, or giving someone a bit of support. What is essential is talking to the right people, people you respect, care for, love etc.

 

[Napier's Knee]

I have had bouts of depression pretty much since my teens, but the worse one started ten years ago, lasted about three years and included a suicide attempt amongst other things. I know this is going to sound stupid and hipster numptyish, but I now look back on that period - in as much as I can remember it - as the time of the death of a version of me that wasn't working, and the birth of a new one who does kind of function and is evidently far better for people to around with. The big depression hit in the most banal way - I took my daughter to a music lesson and was fine, when I was alone in the car waiting for her lesson to finish I started to cry, somehow got home with her, went to bed and stayed there for a weekend feeling numb. I then spent a couple of weeks just watching films, not eating and not communicating. At first I blamed my wife for pretty much everything but actually she was the rock that got me through. However during the depression I lost most of my friends (I was a complete Sh*t to most of them).

I had a supportive GP. his attitude was that obviously I was depressed because what sensible person wouldn't be in this dreadful world. I was on antidepressants (citalopram) and they helped me get through the days without great problems although I had absolutely no emotional engagement with the world. I also forgot a lot - for instance there is photographic evidence that when on the tablets we had a family holiday in Italy but I have no memory of it at all. I also had CBT counselling which was excellent - it worked really well for me but I know it is not effective for everyone. The Samaritans were also wonderful when the black dog was really biting at me.

You've already taken the important first step in telling us about the issue - when you are ready tell the people closest to you. If my experience is anything to go by they actually know already and are desperate to be able to talk with you and help.

One bit of advice - when you are depressed do NOT under any circumstances make any major life decisions. I did - I took a job 300 miles away and ended up spending a couple of nights a week on my own in a desolate B&B. Don't change anything important right now because you're not in the right place to make big decisions.

How did I come out of the depression? Well, I always consider myself just to be in remission, but the bad bout ended very weirdly. I was sitting having a cup of tea, looked at my wife and just said 'want to go to bed then?'. We did, and just hugged for about an hour, and suddenly everything seemed lit up again. It does end, it really does, but never let your guard down because the black dog can come back. but be gentle on yourself too - this is an illness you can't help having any more than you can help having flu - it's not your fault.

If you want to chat anymore just PM me.

 

[Marshy]

I'm a month in from finally admitting to my Family, friends and colleagues that I was struggling mentally.

I feel like a weight has been lifted.

do a beer anytime you like buddy if needed, bit of Albion chat etc always welcome

 

[Durlston]

I'm so sorry you feel like this and it sounds difficult but you will get through this, desprateseagull.

One thing I've felt is depression is a bit like 'flu. You have some dreadful days with it but you do get better. Ive got bipolar disorder and if it wasn't for my medication I'd be up and down more times than a yo-yo. Now I'm stabilised on quetiapine. Please go and see your doctor. He/she WILL help. Anti-depressants can be so different and variouable that you may need to try three or four before you find one that suits you. I've had some awful times - even once making plans for my suicide. Luckily someone raised the alarm although at the time I was a bit freaked out and extremely annoyed with someone. Bozza saved my life by tracking me down and getting the police to check on my welfare. At that time I could only see one way out.

Please USE all the help available to you. There's always someone on NSC that will listen and listen again. I could tap out the longest post I've ever done on here but have a medical appointment this morning. I hope that doesn't sound rude. I'll certainly be on here later to try and help you out. But the best thing you can do is get medical help immediately.

God bless and take care mate. You're never alone on here.

 

[BBassic]

I love threads like this which may seem, in the circumstances, a strange thing to say. But threads like this remind me that we're all just people. When you take out political divides, age gaps and whether or not you thought Ashley Barnes was shit we're all just people.

I've been suffering through anxiety recently. I think it had always been there in one shape or another but last couple of years have had some experiences which brought it to the fore.

For me personally talking about it has been an immeasurable help. I see a guy every Saturday morning, talk about how I'm feeling and do my best to get through the rest of the week.

And it's been said on here already but this place is truly a great place if you need someone to talk to. I don't think anyone, certainly not on this thread, would ignore a PM.

 

[Brian Parsons]

I meant to say I my earlier post DO NOT RESORT TO ALCOHOL as as answer to your problems. Beer will give a temporary lift but in the morning you'll be ever deeper in your gloom.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

 

[DJ NOBO]

Inspiringly honest thread. Love and respect to everyone brave enough to bare their demons on here, especially the OP. Not an easy thing to do at all. Broken arm or leg yes, mental health issues not so much. Wish I was brave enough myself, but having kept it under wraps for decades, and the ingrained sense of shame that comes with it (even though it's not my fault) makes it difficult. I've essentially been a fraud and a liar my whole life where my MH is concerned, running scared of being found out.

Hardly brave given that This is an anonymous message board. The struggle you allude to , about opening up to people is one I and I’m sure others totally relate to. You’re not a fraud and should have no sense of shame. You just have an illness that needs managing

 

[piersa]

Good luck to all on this thread. Depression is a very poorly understood illness. People I know with depression find that exercise is one of the best "pick me ups". They say it's hard to motivate themselves to do, but they are always happy they got up and did it and they feel better for it.

 

[Weststander]

I love threads like this which may seem, in the circumstances, a strange thing to say. But threads like this remind me that we're all just people. When you take out political divides, age gaps and whether or not you thought Ashley Barnes was shit we're all just people.

I've been suffering through anxiety recently. I think it had always been there in one shape or another but last couple of years have had some experiences which brought it to the fore.

For me personally talking about it has been an immeasurable help. I see a guy every Saturday morning, talk about how I'm feeling and do my best to get through the rest of the week.

And it's been said on here already but this place is truly a great place if you need someone to talk to. I don't think anyone, certainly not on this thread, would ignore a PM.

Spot on. A realisation that you are not alone, unusual or unlucky, that many others have been there and or still are, can be a comfort in itself. In addition to getting professional help.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Definitely not a cliche.
But I know this song was written with intent, with reference to the lyrics

 

[Hillian1]

do a beer anytime you like buddy if needed, bit of Albion chat etc always welcome

Cheers Marshy,

Seeing as you know me and what I am like you can probably guess that actually admitting to myself, and more importantly my family etc was quite a big thing. But it was absolutely the best thing I've done in years.

Finally getting help has been like a weight being lifted off me, a long way to go though.

As for a beer, well you pretty much know where I'll be at most times and I would welcome it.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I meant to say I my earlier post DO NOT RESORT TO ALCOHOL as as answer to your problems. Beer will give a temporary lift but in the morning you'll be ever deeper in your gloom.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

I echo that. Alcohol is a depressant and will magnify your symptoms.

Good luck to all on this thread. Depression is a very poorly understood illness. People I know with depression find that exercise is one of the best "pick me ups". They say it's hard to motivate themselves to do, but they are always happy they got up and did it and they feel better for it.

Exercise is good for stress, as it releases endorphins which help the chemical imbalance which can occur and lead to depression.

Talking about it, to your family and especially your GP, is good. Look for help.

Unfortunately, [MENTION=3736]Mr Banana[/MENTION] isn't trolling, but I urge you to ask for help too. Yes, there are people who will be all willing to help & drop off after a few months, but there will be others who hang on in there, who do help.

I've had a couple of bouts of depression, one back in the 90s when my ex walked out, after destroying my self confidence,not make himself feel better about his affair.

Recently, my health has deteriorated, just when I was looking forward to retirement and all the things I was going to do with my time. I feel robbed and cheated, but after having counselling, and anti depressants (which I've now finished) I see I still have much to offer my friends & family. My illness restricts me, but won't kill me, but it doesn't stop me being on the end of a telephone or sharing silly memes on Facebook.
I have joined the British Sjogrens Syndrome Association, and recently had 14 people in my house for a meeting, which was great fun, even though my lovely husband had to do most of the cleaning before & after. I have volunteered to take part in a new drugs trial, although I might be the one in seven who has to take a placebo.

Look for help and you will find it. Don't hide away as you've nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[Sussexscots]

Serious post.

I've spent most of today in bed. Not being lazy, Just could not face getting up, and/or going to work.

Usually it's just a drag, but I used to be able to snap out of it. This feels different. I've been like this for a few days now. It sucks.

I thought it might have been caused by (unrelated) health issue, but think that may have just been the tipping point.

Work has always been busy, but in the past few months, I have felt out of my depth- like a robot, unappreciated, clinging on, isolated by various changes.

Has anyone gone through this? How did it occur? What help did you get?

BTW, I am safe- No harmful thoughts. I have seen my doctor, and may well do again.

The circumstances you describe sound very similar to what I went through some years ago. I had to be dragged to the GP by my wife as I wouldn't or couldn't admit to myself there was anything wrong. I believe I was fortunate at the time to have a doctor who had an understanding of mental health issues.

He described my situation as continually trying to put 20amps through a 13 amp fuse. Until you change something , your fuse will keep blowing.

It was a very long road back for me and I have had to change my life completely but know that you CAN beat this and have taken the right steps in talking to your GP.

Feel free to pm me if you feel it would help.

 

[Marshy]

Cheers Marshy,

Seeing as you know me and what I am like you can probably guess that actually admitting to myself, and more importantly my family etc was quite a big thing. But it was absolutely the best thing I've done in years.

Finally getting help has been like a weight being lifted off me, a long way to go though.

As for a beer, well you pretty much know where I'll be at most times and I would welcome it.

Do an England game sounds like a plan ? I assume you will be there for those ?

 

[Hillian1]

Do an England game sounds like a plan ? I assume you will be there for those ?

Oh yes.

Look forward to it.

 

[Wardy's twin]

I meant to say I my earlier post DO NOT RESORT TO ALCOHOL as as answer to your problems. Beer will give a temporary lift but in the morning you'll be ever deeper in your gloom.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

this

 

[Norman Potting]

A great big "this" to nearly everything on this thread. I wish you all well. Although it is trite to say "...their is always someone worse off than yourself" I do feel for all on here and hope you somehow find a position of stability.