[Misc] dealing with depression

[desprateseagull]

Serious post.

I've spent most of today in bed. Not being lazy, Just could not face getting up, and/or going to work.

Usually it's just a drag, but I used to be able to snap out of it. This feels different. I've been like this for a few days now. It sucks.

I thought it might have been caused by (unrelated) health issue, but think that may have just been the tipping point.

Work has always been busy, but in the past few months, I have felt out of my depth- like a robot, unappreciated, clinging on, isolated by various changes.

Has anyone gone through this? How did it occur? What help did you get?

BTW, I am safe- No harmful thoughts. I have seen my doctor, and may well do again.

 

[sherrinned]

I have had two episodes. The first was over 10 years ago and I went through a series of family related issues. The second however sounds not dissimilar. I was on my way to work and stopped to get fuel. Suddenly I felt extremely self aware, work had been getting on top of me and I had no choice other than to go home.

I called my boss and explained my situation and went to the doctor at the earliest opportunity. I was signed off for three months with regular appointments. No medication was offered and stress was diagnosed.

I eventually improved and returned to work. My advice would be get to your GP as soon as you can, they may offer you a counselling course which may get to the bottom of the issue. But please speak to someone you trust and understands you. It will help more than you know.

Hope this helps a bit and all the best with pulling through. Remember it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

take care

 

[m20gull]

Been through it and suffering a bit again now. In my case it is usually an accumulation of things, especially ones I cannot control. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy through an NHS referral helped me by identifying small changes to improve my mood. Professional help to guide you is the key thing.

 

[Taybha]

Good start actually talking about it , i didn't even realise i had it for months just thought it was side effects of the morphine i was taking for pain , when the shit finally hit the fan and i had a breakdown my doctor was brilliant and got me the help i needed , not just drugs , i continue to get help from various places when it feels like i'm slipping back into the dark place , perhaps i got lucky so to speak with the help set up in my area i don't know the level of support there is in every area but my Doc admitted it's different levels everywhere , i tried the group stuff and frankly it wasn't for me and actually made me feel worse listening to everybody else's problems , not saying it's pants for you but not for me , the best help i got was from the very people i tried to hide it from , My family and good mates , once i had actually said what was going on they helped me control the frustration and anger side of it , staying quiet about it was the worse thing i tried to do , i tried the drugs citalopram ? but they didn't really help me at all , just kept busy as i could with the support of family and the doctors practice , if they prescribe you with clinical depression then they have a duty of care to follow and you should try everything they suggest until you find what works for you .

It's pretty shit and probably worse than the accident i had at work , the pain and resulting failed operations iv'e had , depression just creeps up on you and without you realising what's going on it then starts chewing you up slowly , don''t let it swallow you up , it nearly did it's job on me that's for sure but there is a way out if you clearly understand you want to get rid of it , that may sound daft but it gets to a stage where you think sod it , i'm done .

The best thing apart from family and doctors help i found to help me through it was , don't laugh , meditation and a form of martial art Tai chi in super slow mo action , yep the neighbours had a good giggle for a short while watching me attempt the moves in the garden but after a week or so i started noticing how much more relaxed i was about everything , it really has helped me , i still do it now , it's actually improved the movement in my knackered spine a little so can recommend that sort of thing for sure , i got a little help with it from a friend then basically went on youtube to watch more stuff about it .

Anyway i wish you well and hope you can get the help i was fortunate enough to get .

 

[Grombleton]

The frustrating thing about depression, or any mental illness is that it affects everyone differently - so never feel bad if you spend a long time getting over things, or perhaps even get over things quicker than you think.

I have those sorts of times more often than i'd like - days where I will spend them in bed either sleeping, or having background noise (a Netflix series i've watched a million times before) just to keep my mind at ease and stop any intrusive thoughts. For me, it can be fine after a day, but sometimes it'll be 3 or 4 before I'm willing to check out the outside world...it affects my work, my friends, my health (i don't eat much, if at all). I'm thankful that I have supportive colleagues, friends and family who may not understand, but support and do what they can.

I was diagnosed firstly 10 years ago, and went to therapy...I decided to end it as I felt I didn't click with the therapist. It wasn't until a couple of failed attempts at suicide and the breakdown of my relationship that I went back to therapy, as well as started on anti-depressants. That was over 2 years ago and whilst I am no longer actively in therapy nor am I taking medication, i still suffer - I just feel slightly better equipped to deal with things and recognise when things are getting bad so I can deal with it better. I'm one of those who believes that depression never truly leaves you; you just learn how to deal with it better as time goes on.

It's superb that you're willing to talk about it on here openly. My inbox is always open if you want to discuss anything and I'm sure many others will extend the same offer to you - we're all human and we all struggle from time to time...but NSC is a family and we will help however we can.

 

[BadFish]

Constant battle for me with the stresses of kids with additional needs and a wife also with depression who has stuggled to work (she is working two days a week so things are improving.)

I am on top at the moment but I can feel things building with some stuff we are going through at the moment. I went to see my boss and asked if i could take leave to get my head above water. he was fantastic and told me to go to the docs and get a certificate for two weeks. It didn't occur to me at the time but the two weeks coincides with the World Cup (honest guv, i didn't realise .

I made some lifestyle changes a couple of years ago and along with medication I am able to keep things on an even keel. My major changes were less drinking, playing music and getting involved in a local football club, both playing and coaching. This covers exercise and doing shit to nourish my soul and escape for a while. Next step is to sort out our finances and start saving for a holiday every other year.

Good luck mate, I am in Australia so if you need someone to talk to during the the night i am usually around. PM me.

BF

P.S. on a related note, how many ****ing people are struggling with this shit at the moment. Are we going wrong somewhere as a society in the way we behave and think?

 

[Hillian1]

I'm a month in from finally admitting to my Family, friends and colleagues that I was struggling mentally.

I feel like a weight has been lifted.

 

[Ludensian Gull]

I suffer from depression/ anxiety , had these problems for over 30 years . I have seen 3 different community phyciatric nurses and had many sessions with them , some I found more helpful than others. Doctors were very helpful when I saw them and have been on Citalapram for years. Tried coming off them twice but found myself slipping back to dark places again. You have to speak to folk who understand what it feels like and try as hard as it feels to get out in the fresh air for awhile , enjoy the sunshine. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If it was your leg that was broken you'd go straight to a&e to get it fixed , it's no different . Wish you well my friend and please feel free to PM me if you need any advice, I'm not too good at explaining things in type but will help you anyway I can .

 

[Mr Banana]

Be careful who you tell, people are awful.

Don't be hard on yourself for staying in bed, you can't magically change it.

Try to keep your mind occupied. CBT works on deluding yourself that life isn't as bad as it seems, try to convince yourself of that if you can.

Bear in mind that pills make your nob stop working and make you fat

 

[DJ NOBO]

Had it on and off my whole life.
Episodes can last a few days, a few weeks, a few months.
I often think I’ve cracked it after a good phase but it always comes back.
I now accept it’s a part of me, an unwanted companion but a companion all the same. I don’t try to eradicate it, I try and manage it.
At least it’s linked to my creativity which has helped me at work.
Hopefully this is just a one off period for you, op. I wouldn’t rush onto antidepressants if I were you. Lower your expectations for a bit, and be kind to yourself.
I found counselling helped, especially the first few sessions. Generally, I’m not sure about delving into your childhood and expecting to find answers though. It opens up a can of worms - no one has a perfect childhood or perfect parents.
Focus counselling on dealing with the day to day. That’s what worked for me anyway, in managing depression.

 

[Eeyore]

Almost like this thread was placed here for me.

I was feeling uncomfortable about having to make a doctor's appointment to talk about my issues. I have OCD for one. Not the badge of honour that folk seem to wear, but the type that means it takes up to half an hour to get out the house in the morning or that you have to re-write something because it's not neat enough.

Lost my second parent recently and have had crushing moments of depression as a number of feelings have surfaced. I've began to realise the depths of which it can take one to.

I have told my immediate superiors who have shown nothing but kindness and concern. Folk are more understanding these days. Don't let it fester. The one thing I've found that grief and depression can't deal with is the love of others. Just listing names of people who care about me in my own head thwarted the worst of my anxiety attacks.

Oh, and talk about it on threads like this. Some of us may act like a bunch of wankers sometimes but then you look on here and see that actually folk are pretty good with a lot of kindness to offer.

 

[BadFish]

Be careful who you tell, people are awful.

Don't be hard on yourself for staying in bed, you can't magically change it.

Try to keep your mind occupied. CBT works on deluding yourself that life isn't as bad as it seems, try to convince yourself of that if you can.

Bear in mind that pills make your nob stop working and make you fat

Have you considered volunteering for the Samaritans?

 

[Brian Parsons]

I had two bouts of depression many years ago. The first was " treated with pills " didn't really do much good. Like you I spent most of my days in bed asleep because that's where I felt secure. It almost cost me my job and marriage. Then as if by magic I woke up one morning full of the joys of Spring and went to work. Everything I thought was ba k to normal but alas in less than a year the " black dog " reappeared. I ended up in a clinic where I received the most amazing therapy. In about two months I was back to my normal self. The confidence to tackle life and whatever it threw at me was back in spades. So seek professional help and you'll be fine.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

 

[Ludensian Gull]

Had it on and off my whole life.
Episodes can last a few days, a few weeks, a few months.
I often think I’ve cracked it after a good phase but it always comes back.
I now accept it’s a part of me, an unwanted companion but a companion all the same. I don’t try to eradicate it, I try and manage it.
At least it’s linked to my creativity which has helped me at work.
Hopefully this is just a one off period for you, op. I wouldn’t rush onto antidepressants if I were you. Lower your expectations for a bit, and be kind to yourself.
I found counselling helped, especially the first few sessions. Generally, I’m not sure about delving into your childhood and expecting to find answers though. It opens up a can of worms - no one has a perfect childhood or perfect parents.
Focus counselling on dealing with the day to day. That’s what worked for me anyway, in managing depression.

I had the same feeling regarding counselling, felt dealing with day to day issues far more relevant than digging around childhood years, which as far as I remember where fine. It's the shit you have to deal with after childhood which is the problem. Well it was in my case anyway.As you say it's something that's always there,just have to control it the best way possible for each individual . All the very best mate

 

[Eeyore]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

 

[Mr Banana]

I have told my immediate superiors who have shown nothing but kindness and concern. Folk are more understanding these days. Don't let it fester. The one thing I've found that grief and depression can't deal with is the love of others. Just listing names of people who care about me in my own head thwarted the worst of my anxiety attacks.

Oh, and talk about it on threads like this. Some of us may act like a bunch of wankers sometimes but then you look on here and see that actually folk are pretty good with a lot of kindness to offer.

If they're your bosses they haven't got a choice. It's the rules, legally.

Talking to people tends to elicit a lot of virtue signalling. Give it a few months and you'll never hear from anyone.

 

[Half Time Pies]

Be careful who you tell, people are awful.

Don't be hard on yourself for staying in bed, you can't magically change it.

Try to keep your mind occupied. CBT works on deluding yourself that life isn't as bad as it seems, try to convince yourself of that if you can.

Bear in mind that pills make your nob stop working and make you fat

I am sure that you mean well but this is pretty bad advice in my opinion.

One of the major causes of mental health issues particularly in Men is that we don't feel that we can talk about our feelings and emotions. As someone who has gone through depression the single biggest thing that helped was talking to people and being open about whats going on in my life. My perception at the time was that I couldn't talk to family and friends and the people at work because they would see me as being weak which created a pressure cooker type situation where the fear of being found out built up as the depression worsened and there was no outlet.

As it turned out most people are not awful it was just that the depression created this perception that they were, becoming more open I realised that most people have some experience of mental illness whether that be someone who they know or themselves. For example I have a friendship group of 7 mates who I have known for 30 years and I have since found out tat pretty much all of them have struggled at some point in their lives but that I had no idea because they didn't talk about it at the time and bottled it up probably because of the fear of what the rest of us thought!

CBT doesn't work by deluding yourself that life isn't as bad as it seems, 9 times out of 10 things are not as bad as they seem! I remember getting myself in a complete state about the task of organising and attending a hairdressing appointment which during the height of my depression I couldn't seem to manage and was causing me a lot of anxiety, however apart from the fact that my hair was slightly longer than usual was this issue as important as it seemed at the time, of course not! I am not saying that people don't have horrendous things going on in their lives however generally depression will make even small things seem much worse than they actually are.

I was also on anti-depressants for 12 month and never had any problems with my nob or getting fat, however if I did have I would have returned to the doctor and asked to be put on an alternative type. Anti-depressants are not for everyone but can be helpful to get you over the worst of it as long as they are used in combination with other things like CBT and counselling and changing elements of you life that may be contributing to the depression. It helped me to have a plan in place for coming off them and reducing the dosage gradually over time.

 

[Weststander]

Good luck in your road to feeling happier. Persistently involve your GP every step of the way (don’t be reticent in opening up), and follow their advice on meds. Please do not listen to one or two ‘sages’ who state do not take meds. Meds might be a godsend.

My advice, if work issues can’t be resolved, is to always to leave as soon as feasible. You spend an awful chunk of your life there and it can be the catalyst for major stress and depression. Life’s too short to stay and suffer. You’ll look back one day and be so pleased that you made the decision.

All the best.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Inspiringly honest thread. Love and respect to everyone brave enough to bare their demons on here, especially the OP. Not an easy thing to do at all. Broken arm or leg yes, mental health issues not so much. Wish I was brave enough myself, but having kept it under wraps for decades, and the ingrained sense of shame that comes with it (even though it's not my fault) makes it difficult. I've essentially been a fraud and a liar my whole life where my MH is concerned, running scared of being found out.

 

[Bold Seagull]

Serious post.

I've spent most of today in bed. Not being lazy, Just could not face getting up, and/or going to work.

Usually it's just a drag, but I used to be able to snap out of it. This feels different. I've been like this for a few days now. It sucks.

I thought it might have been caused by (unrelated) health issue, but think that may have just been the tipping point.

Work has always been busy, but in the past few months, I have felt out of my depth- like a robot, unappreciated, clinging on, isolated by various changes.

Has anyone gone through this? How did it occur? What help did you get?

BTW, I am safe- No harmful thoughts. I have seen my doctor, and may well do again.

This thread has a lot of helpful ideas, shared experiences etc. https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/showthread.php?348655-Does-anyone-have-mental-health-problems/page57&highlight=Mental