Could Gary Goals be the answer to our striker problem?

[Buzzer]

Very impressive CV, does all the types of goals and he's played against someone who is related to a current Premier League player so he's got the necessary experience too.

 

[1066familyman]

I think he could, yes. He ticks all the boxeses.

Gary up top and Billy the Fish between the stick's and whell surely be unbeatable!

 

[Sussex Nomad]

One question and one question only... who are Doncaster United?

 

[Megazone]

I actually thought he played really well against Wayne Rooney's cousin showing he's as good as the best.

Good shout. Sign him up!

 

[Deleted member 2719]

4 questions.
Can he score goals from within our half of the pitch?
If so would he be prepared to drop deeper for the rest of match?
Has he ever caught a ball?
Can he reach the cross bar?

He sounds great otherwise.

 

[Hugo Rune]

I actually thought he played really well against Wayne Rooney's cousin showing he's as good as the best.

Good shout. Sign him up!

When I saw this post, it really lifted my spirits after the Dwemena shenanigans. This player would have been ideal for us. A goal a game (in any league) is not to be sniffed at.

However, you and the OP have been sadly fooled. He has played against Wanye Rooney's cousin NOT Wayne Rooney's cousin. For that reason, I very much doubt he is Premier League class (despite having the ability to score bicycle kick goals).

Sorry to ruin the thread, but this will never happen, we can do better.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

That'll be Dwanye Rooney, class player.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

4 questions.
Can he score goals from within our half of the pitch?
If so would he be prepared to drop deeper for the rest of match?
Has he ever caught a ball?
Can he reach the cross bar?

I think you'll find that GG quite clearly answers all 4 of your questions in the footnote to his CV: "PLEASE TO NOTE I WILL NOT PLAY AT THE BACK OR GO IN GOALS OR DO ROLLING SUB"

 

[Sussex Nomad]

I think you'll find that GG quite clearly answers all 4 of your questions in the footnote to his CV: "PLEASE TO NOTE I WILL NOT PLAY AT THE BACK OR GO IN GOALS OR DO ROLLING SUB"

That's him buggered on 5/7 a side then.

Edit: I recall 5 and 6 a side, never remember 7 a side?

 

[Hugo Rune]

I wonder if there is a way of getting the lad's mobile number and actually giving him a call to confirm that he is in talks with the club? Someone must be able to look him up somewhere as I suspect there can't be more than a few dozen 'Gary Goals' in the phone book?

 

[Ⓩ-Ⓐ-Ⓜ-Ⓞ-Ⓡ-Ⓐ]

Someone must be able to look him up somewhere as I suspect there can't be more than a few dozen 'Gary Goals' in the phone book?

Come on Hugo, his number is CLEARLY listed on the advertisement.

 

[El Sid]

Unfortunately Gary's pre-season started a bit late and he's not quite ready for the Premier League yet.

 

[HalfaSeatOn]

Doesn't say he's had a medical - this ones doomed I'm afraid.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Doesn't say he's had a medical - this ones doomed I'm afraid.

Assuming the player does pass his medical, and that personal terms are agreed, then he's going to need a chant. Lucky for us, the old OGH chants are available for selection.

Altogether now...

Oh Gary Goals
Gary Gary Gary Goals

 

[The Sock of Poskett]

Maybe this bloke's available? ��

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

This is no time for such flippancy. We're in crisis. We're all doomed, I tell you. We're all doomed.

 

[Deleted member 2719]

I think you'll find that GG quite clearly answers all 4 of your questions in the footnote to his CV: "PLEASE TO NOTE I WILL NOT PLAY AT THE BACK OR GO IN GOALS OR DO ROLLING SUB"

Ok, I've gone off this promising talent because he has hidden this in the small print.
I would need to see video proof of him in goal and any dental records to show his current state of health also.

 

[neilbard]

Allegedly Mr.Winstanley contacted the lad yesterday but he was too late, Mr. Goals had just passed a medical at Huddersfield and signed for an undisclosed fee.

 

[Bladders]

Not for me . No thanks


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[Gabbafella]

Wanye? Is that Rooney's rapping alter ego?