[Technology] Computer Says No - 2018 Edition

[Curious Orange]

Having worked for an electricity company in the past, I can see how this has happened. The person on the phone will send a report saying the meter is redundant, but somewhere along the line the computer section hasn't got the message to remove it from the data. There are so many 'in betweens', it gets lost in the system. It's frustrating for all concerned, but even more so for you.

There in lies the rub, data entry is actually a highly skilled job... but it is also boring, and generally given to temps who don't give a flying wosname about quality.

 

[maffew]

I work in database development. ******* thing very rarely says "yes".

update dbo.users set devname = null where userid () = "BBasic"

 

[BBassic]

update dbo.users set devname = null where userid () = "BBasic"

I should not have laughed so hard at that.

 

[Badger]

How can people be so stupid?
"There is gas, I've got the gas hob on at the moment and I'm cooking some pasta"
"No, you don't have gas, but we can install it for you"

I'm well jel.

The woman on the other end of the phone

 

[Arthritic Toe]

On a related note, a friend of mine used to be a gas fitter for the gas board (and whatever they morphed into). A colleague of his moved into a new place so rang the accounts department to arrange to take over the gas supply.
"There's no gas at that house" he was told.
"yes there is, it's meter type xyx, serial number 12345"
"Doesn't exist. We can put a gas supply in for £250 if you want"
This went on for a year, letters from his foreman and manager just met with "Theres no gas supply"
In the end he gave up so for 20 odd years he had free gas.

I had one like that with BT.
"There is no phone line into that house"

"Yes there is - I'm talking to you on it"

"No you're not"

"Yes I am"
etc.....

 

[Wardy's twin]

I work in database development. ******* thing very rarely says "yes".

must be the wrong database product....

 

[Wardy's twin]

I was turned down for a mortgage of £85K over four years. "So what" you might say.
My mortgage has £85k left to pay over five years and I wanted to shorten it. Never missed a payment in 16 years, 1000 pts on credit score, enough money in bank to pay off mortgage in one go (but would leave me skint and business needs capitol), same bank all my life.
But girl on phone said no.

ever thought of an offset mortgage?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Not 2018 edition, but never saw any previous year's edition so... Couple of years ago, I happened to be in Munich when Bayern were playing Barcelona in the semi-final of the Champions League. In a pitifully optimistic attempt at scoring a ticket, I filled in the form to register as a Bayern follower. Three times I tried entering my forename, ROSS. Three times the form changed ROSS to HORSE. In the end, I gave up trying to change it back. F*ck it I thought, If Bayern Munich want to call me HORSE, then they can CALL me HORSE. And did it help me get a ticket? Neigh!

 

[Arthritic Toe]

I was turned down for a mortgage of £85K over four years. "So what" you might say.
My mortgage has £85k left to pay over five years and I wanted to shorten it. Never missed a payment in 16 years, 1000 pts on credit score, enough money in bank to pay off mortgage in one go (but would leave me skint and business needs capitol), same bank all my life.
But girl on phone said no.

Why on earth would you want to do that? The new mortgage is so similar to the old mortgage that is isn't worth the faff (or admin fees) to change. Just pay the existing mortgage for four years and then pay it off.

 

[maffew]

must be the wrong database product....

Or the wrong coder