Coldplay album review - nastiest review ever?

[Albumen]

Childish maybe but not humourless to me, although obviously that is a matter of taste.

I was laughing at a few sentences I admit but it overall made me feel a little crass. Maybe it's my age!

 

[Guinness Boy]

I think the best review I ever read was many years ago when that novelty song was released by the comedian I forget the name of (he's still around, Tony Hawk or something), anyway the song was called "Stutter Rap". The review read as follows:

"Stutter Rap. Utter Crap."

My favourite was for The Chemical Brothers' "Push The Button". It read 'which one, stop or eject?'.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

It will still sell over 15 000 000 copies Worldwide and Chris Martin will wipe his arse on a copy of this review and have a little chuckle to himself.

Double what their last album sold? Seems unlikely.

 

[BadFish]

I think the best review I ever read was many years ago when that novelty song was released by the comedian I forget the name of (he's still around, Tony Hawk or something), anyway the song was called "Stutter Rap". The review read as follows:

"Stutter Rap. Utter Crap."

Great song that, I still have the 7" somewhere!

 

[El Presidente]

The Quietus is a very smug, self satisfied website. It wants to be similar to the NME in the late 70's, but like all things in the world of rock and roll, is very derivative.

Having said that, Coldplay and a smug, self satisfied band, and Chris Martin, talented though he is as an instrumentalist, is irritating in the extreme.

 

[Spider]

'I Am a Camera'

Review:
'Me no Leica'

By whom?

 

[spring hall convert]

I love the Quietus, most of the journalism is outstanding.

This review is just childish and pointless. Clickbait (proven by the fact it's ended up on here.)

 

[PoG]

Coldplay have got progressively worse over the past two albums however they have produced some great music. Most people that slate Coldplay haven't actually listened to a whole album, standard sheep jumping on the Coldplay hate wagon.

 

[crabface]

Whats the point in writing an article full of swearwords and then starring them out? If you meant the word you meant the word. May as well have just posted a page of stars instead.

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

Hating Coldplay is like hating cress or magnolia paint - really not worth the effort.

 

[The Large One]

My favourite was for The Chemical Brothers' "Push The Button". It read 'which one, stop or eject?'.

A review for Dead or Alive's new single back in the 1980s - "Dead, actually."

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

They have made some brilliant songs that have enhanced many people's lives.

Or as I like to call it "music for a Daily Mail readers dinner party". People call Ernest a one trick pony on here. Chris Martin is the Messiah of being a one trick pony.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Or as I like to call it "music for a Daily Mail readers dinner party". People call Ernest a one trick pony on here. Chris Martin is the Messiah of being a one trick pony.

In your opinion. Millions would disagree. I mean The Scientist a sh*t song ? really ?

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

In your opinion. Millions would disagree. I mean The Scientist a sh*t song ? really ?

This is a band that has been going since the year 2000 and you name me one song. That shows how pony their back catalogue really is.

 

[SouthCoastOwl]

Shark Sandwich, two words "Sh*t Sandwich"

 

[Kumquat]

I think the best review I ever read was many years ago when that novelty song was released by the comedian I forget the name of (he's still around, Tony Hawk or something), anyway the song was called "Stutter Rap". The review read as follows:

"Stutter Rap. Utter Crap."

Reminds me of one I saw for the first solo album by Fred Schneider, former B52s member. The review was "Simply Fred? Simply shit!"

 

[MattBackHome]

It's not very well written, and it's an easy target.

 

[Braders]

It's not very well written

The review or the album?

 

[keaton]

All this Coldplay hate is very dull and boring now. They have made some brilliant songs that have enhanced many people's lives. Live and let live.

You could take the words 'All' 'This' and 'hate' from your first sentence and it would be true (gramatically incorrect, but still true).

 

[spring hall convert]

In the world of trolling album reviews this will always be king for me. Short, to the point, offensive and brilliant.

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/9464-shine-on/