Coldplay album review - nastiest review ever?

[Wozza]

Judging by comments made ny the Quietus editor, the review was meant to be a pastiche of the type of scathing reviews that used to be appear in the music press.

If a joke needs explaining...

 

[MillitantSeagull]

I'm really enjoying the new Coldplay album, and have been listening to it non-stop since it came out. Just my opinion, as the reviewers is his.

 

[Was not Was]

I love the Quietus, most of the journalism is outstanding.

This review is just childish and pointless. Clickbait (proven by the fact it's ended up on here.)

This. I wonder if they'll get a few more readers as a result. If so, they win. Fair play.

 

[tinx]

I've listened to it once or twice but the Black Keys released a belter of an album last week so compared to that it's just not keeping me listening. Will probably revisit in a week or so when I get bored of the black keys.

 

[spring hall convert]

This. I wonder if they'll get a few more readers as a result. If so, they win. Fair play.

Sadly enough this is true.

 

[brakespear]

Why the facepalm ? Ok, you hate them, we get it but lots of people love them and their songs. Is that too hard to understand ? Apparently so.

That's rich coming from you.

edit: (without wishing to be unpleasant) most times I have seen you post an opinion on something which someone later disagrees with you seem unable to accept that their opinion differs to your own without it being a windup or them being married to a supermodel or something

 

[Icy Gull]

I can't listen to a complete Coldplay album without getting pretty bored but a few tracks here and there I quite enjoy. I don't really get the Coldplay hate, reminds me of the reaction to Dire Straits after they became massive and were labelled a Yuppie band, they were considered pretty cool in their early days.

What Coldplay do they do well, if you can't admit that maybe you are just being a music snob and jumping on the cool to hate bandwagon. You don't have to like them but hate? Really?

 

[BN9 BHA]

All this Coldplay hate is very dull and boring now. They have made some brilliant songs that have enhanced many people's lives. Live and let live.

Coldplay changed my life completely, I used to suffer from insomnia until I discovered Coldplay, now I only have to listen to 2 of their songs and I'm fast asleep, I feel great all day long instead of being tired.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Hating Coldplay is like hating cress or magnolia paint - really not worth the effort.

Magnolia, I call it Yellow.

 

[TheJasperCo]

Delete

 

[TheJasperCo]

Can't say I care much for Coldplay or the guy reviewing their album, although this quote was quite funny:

"Cue also the worst, truncated f***ing guitar solo in f***ing history - like a dying kitten mewing for help, then remembering that this is a world with f***ing Coldplay in it and deciding not to f***ing bother"

 

[The Wizard]

I like it - like any album there's some crap but I think generally it's better than a few of their latest albums, of course it's nothing on the Coldplay early years though. Clocks, Fix You, The Scientist, Yellow ect all great songs.

I personally don't get the Coldplay hate, Chris Martin does a hell of a lot of stuff for charity and gives his fair share back, but that's just me I'm not full of un-needed hatred for random people. The guy who wrote this review is just a fool, probably loving the attention he's getting for writing such a god awful review.

 

[Pevenseagull]

They're so cool they listen to bands that don't even exist yet.

They've all already sold out to the man. Shame.

 

[Kumquat]

Can't say I care much for Coldplay or the guy reviewing their album, although this quote was quite funny:

That was my favourite too and generally my opinion of the review. I think, if as someone has suggested, that the quietus have said the review is a pastiche of such reviews, then they clearly are shitting themselves because of the bad response. As I said before, I think it was childish but not without humour. The idea that they didn't mean it is preposterous. I seem to remember Tori Amos slinging some verbals the Prodigy's way when they claimed that "Smack my Bitch up" wasn't about what it sounded like, basically saying that if they'd had the balls to say it was and take the flak she'd have had much more respect for them. Same applies here.

 

[WhingForPresident]

I'm really enjoying the new Coldplay album, and have been listening to it non-stop since it came out. Just my opinion, as the reviewers is his.

In fairness, he probably didn't even listen to it. Just knowing it's cool to jip them off was enough.

 

[Mr Banana]

There are a lot of bands that I can't stand. Mainly Coldplay. I think they're everything that's wrong and bad - not just about music, but probably the world. They're saying nothing. It's kind of music for estate agents, sort of going round the supermarket: "oh, I'll have Coldplay in my basket, I'll go home and listen to it when I have a dinner party." Music is a creative thing, y'know, it's like painting or writing a book, so to do something so unimaginative and so run-of-the-mill and everyday...it's like a missed opportunity to do something great.

 

[Badger]

There are a lot of bands that I can't stand. Mainly Coldplay. I think they're everything that's wrong and bad - not just about music, but probably the world. They're saying nothing. It's kind of music for estate agents, sort of going round the supermarket: "oh, I'll have Coldplay in my basket, I'll go home and listen to it when I have a dinner party." Music is a creative thing, y'know, it's like painting or writing a book, so to do something so unimaginative and so run-of-the-mill and everyday...it's like a missed opportunity to do something great.

Why does music have to have some kind of deep meaning? It's just sound which goes into your ears, you either like the sound or you don't

There seems to be this opinion that "different" means "good", in both music and art. In my opinion this is rarely the case and it's often people trying to convince you that something is good, rather than letting you form your own opinion.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

There are a lot of bands that I can't stand. Mainly Coldplay. I think they're everything that's wrong and bad - not just about music, but probably the world. They're saying nothing. It's kind of music for estate agents, sort of going round the supermarket: "oh, I'll have Coldplay in my basket, I'll go home and listen to it when I have a dinner party." Music is a creative thing, y'know, it's like painting or writing a book, so to do something so unimaginative and so run-of-the-mill and everyday...it's like a missed opportunity to do something great.

I am sorry Mr B but that is musical snobbery of a staggering proportion. The facts are Coldplay have made some superb songs and I know " trendy " people rubbish them but to write off all 6 albums as trash is a little unfair imo.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Radiohead are similar to Coldplay imo, not the music but they seem to be reverred for their Stadium indulgences. If Chris Martin had written " Let Down " he would be called a snivelling, self pitying sh*t but as Tom Yorke wrote it, it is genius. Seems different rules are applied to different people.

 

[Deadly Danson]

There are a lot of bands that I can't stand. Mainly Coldplay. I think they're everything that's wrong and bad - not just about music, but probably the world. They're saying nothing. It's kind of music for estate agents, sort of going round the supermarket: "oh, I'll have Coldplay in my basket, I'll go home and listen to it when I have a dinner party." Music is a creative thing, y'know, it's like painting or writing a book, so to do something so unimaginative and so run-of-the-mill and everyday...it's like a missed opportunity to do something great.

How fantastically snobbish. So come on then - what wondrously crafted music do you listen to? And more to the point will the rest of us enjoy listening to it? I don't really want to be intellectually challenged listening to music, I want to ENJOY it.