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[Help] Caught masterbating by the missus













Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
7,093
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
This is a 100% true story, and I sincerely hope nobody knows this guy...

My "first love" regaled me this tale... (she was 24, I was 19 - and we ended up together for 5 years) and was married before I met her. Her husband at the time was deaf, with hearing aids in both ears (the big 1990's pink chunky ones).

She was going out that night (to the 'Roxy' on Eastbourne Pier) and ordered a Taxi from their home into town. The taxi duly arrived, the doorbell dinged, she got into the cab, and off she went. Her ex, when alone, used to take his hearing aids out as they were pretty uncomfortable back then due to the size and weight. It must have been quite a relief to be fair...

She got a half way into the journey and she realised she'd left her purse at home, so asked the cabbie to do a u-turn and pop back to the house - which he duly did.

She jumped out of the cab, unlocked the front door, shouted his name and that she'd forgotten her purse and had come back for it. Nothing. Silence.

So, she looked into the lounge - only to find him with both hearing aids out, mucky video playing on the VHS, thrashing one out like man possessed, legs in the air, tissues flying, sweat beads all over the walls - you name it...

She slowly and carefully closed the door, left the house, got back into the cab, and carried on with her evening.

He still doesn't know to this day...

Fair play to her, I say. :drink:

*For the record he was actually quite a nice bloke and didn't fit the narrative of his actions. :moo:
I thought it made you blind. Not deaf?
 




Baker lite

Banned
Mar 16, 2017
6,309
in my house
so, erm, a friend of mine was caught doing you know what

Wondered if anyone else were ever in that predicament? He didn't have good reasons when confronted, because of the panic trying to hide everything so obvious was lying.

Any good advice on how how to patch things up as she's quite upset?

Asking for a friend?


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Blue3

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2014
5,826
Lancing
so, erm, a friend of mine was caught doing you know what

Wondered if anyone else were ever in that predicament? He didn't have good reasons when confronted, because of the panic trying to hide everything so obvious was lying.

Any good advice on how how to patch things up as she's quite upset?

Can I clarify who was your mate masterbating himself or someone else as I am sure it would matter to your mates wife?
 


D

Deleted member 2719

Guest
A friend of mine was working in Chapel rd, worthing and looked out of her office window, to see a scaffolder in a van with his pole in his hand. He had erected this within the van, and was stopped at a crossing while young ladies crossed the road.
She was a broad minded friend but she couldn't see past the old ladies that could have spotted him. She reported this to the police, where they went around and embarrassed the feck out of him in front of his girlfriend. Whatever happened to their relationship we never knew.

Unless anyone knows on here......was it you??? Late 80's early 90's.

The guy in our circle or friends was always know as the Worthing wa**er.
 


Albion my Albion

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 6, 2016
19,571
Indiana, USA
Was it Billy Connolly who said if you get caught ******* it is imperative that the first thing you do is shout ‘thank God you are here’

"Yes, I was thinking about you and since you seemed preoccupied with doing so much for me I had to work out the condition caused by thinking of you on my own,"
 




Doonhamer7

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2016
1,447
If he’s the right age just quote Billy Connolly, “once you reach 50, always use the toilet if offered, never trust a fart, and always use an erection even if on your own”
 




BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
18,061
so, erm, a friend of mine was caught doing you know what

Wondered if anyone else were ever in that predicament? He didn't have good reasons when confronted, because of the panic trying to hide everything so obvious was lying.

Any good advice on how how to patch things up as she's quite upset?

Hood, leather chaps, nipple clamps . . . ?
 








Bladders

Twats everywhere
Jun 22, 2012
13,672
The Troubadour
The missus ***** more than me

No problem here with double standards


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