We have to have a change in mind set.
The EU is now just another "country/trade entity".
If we are unable to negotiate a trade deal with them, it is what it is. No blame anywhere, the leaders just can't agree.
If we cannot agree a trade deal with the US, or with Japan, or with India etc. etc. we do not blame those parties, we just realise that we couldn't agree anything.
And we get a trade deal at some point in the future when the leaders can agree.
Which would be fine if we had confidence our leaders knew what they did want. I don't believe they do.