Breast feeding - A time and a place?

[severnside gull]

In a meeting yesterday when mum whipped her tit out to feed her babe. She said "do you mind? " but was reasonably discreet and in all honesty if she wasn't embarassed why would I be?

 

[tedebear]

In a meeting yesterday when mum whipped her tit out to feed her babe. She said "do you mind? " but was reasonably discreet and in all honesty if she wasn't embarassed why would I be?

In a work meeting? With her baby? Poor thing...

 

[dougdeep]

So can I breastfeed in public or not?

 

[Starry]

In a work meeting? With her baby? Poor thing...

Why? There aren't many (if any) better places for a baby to be than at their mothers breast.

 

[Starry]

So can I breastfeed in public or not?

Absolutely.

I can give you plenty of lactation tips

 

[Yorkie]

Magic? Tee hee...

Makes me laugh all this child led stuff...no disrespect to Starry as even though we disagree on things, we've both put alot of thought into doing what works for us and our families.

But personally I have spoken to a couple of ladies in my mother and baby group who went down the child-led (sleeping, weaning, feeding etc.) approach with dire consequences. I do find it hard to believe that as I am 30 something, that I should allow my new born child to direct me in what he wants, when he basically knows nothing...bizarre...

With respect tedebear, each child is very different. My daughter was 3 weeks premature but still went into a 3 hour regular routine very quickly whereas my son wouldn't settle into any sort of routine and was a very hard baby to deal with.

 

[Starry]

my son wouldn't settle into any sort of routine and was a very hard baby to deal with.

That is my eldest daughter, she is at school now and we still have problems with structure and routine with her and have since she was born.

 

[British Bulldog]

Now I have put up with most things on my daily grind on commuter trains - mobile phone users, laptop users, MP3s being played too loud, people eating, people snooring, people farting etc etc but yesterday a new one took me by surprise.

A lady with a baby sat directly opposite me, on a packed commuter train from London and Brighton, in the middle of rush hour, and promtly lopped out her right breast and started feeding the baby

Now I know it's a perfectly natural thing to do, and people should accept it as such, and I'm no prude by a long way. But surely, there's a time and place it? Put me right off my suduko I can tell you.

I hate it when women breast feed in public it aint right, Go away into a private place and do it.

 

[tedebear]

Why? There aren't many (if any) better places for a baby to be than at their mothers breast.

Poor child - should be at home...I think it very unfortunate if a woman would have to take her child to work....Sorry whilst I send this email, go to a meeting etc. baby always comes second...

 

[tedebear]

With respect tedebear, each child is very different. My daughter was 3 weeks premature but still went into a 3 hour regular routine very quickly whereas my son wouldn't settle into any sort of routine and was a very hard baby to deal with.

Of course Yorkie there are exceptions to everything! Absolutely!

 

[Starry]

Poor child - should be at home...I think it very unfortunate if a woman would have to take her child to work....Sorry whilst I send this email, go to a meeting etc. baby always comes second...

You don't know the circumstances that led to that lady being there with her baby though. You don't know that she does that, maybe she was there just for an hour for a meeting or only works two hours a day when baby is usually asleep beside her, or is there all day and works her nursing breaks/nappy changes into her day. Who knows! I think it's really horrible to condemn the baby as a "poor child" if the mother is willing to bring her baby to work and nurse in front of her colleagues I can't imagine there'd be too much poor about the baby.

Her employers ought to be congratulated for letting her NAW. It's a shame not all are so understanding.

 

[tedebear]

You don't know the circumstances that led to that lady being there with her baby though. You don't know that she does that, maybe she was there just for an hour for a meeting or only works two hours a day when baby is usually asleep beside her, or is there all day and works her nursing breaks/nappy changes into her day. Who knows! I think it's really horrible to condemn the baby as a "poor child" if the mother is willing to bring her baby to work and nurse in front of her colleagues I can't imagine there'd be too much poor about the baby.

Her employers ought to be congratulated for letting her NAW. It's a shame not all are so understanding.

Just think that its a sad state of affairs when a baby has to be lugged around to meetings and workplaces - many companies offer breastfeeding places, and nappy changing facilities and thats great - but I do think when our kids are small they deserve the respect of being raised where they are the focus. Sad in this day and age so many women have to return to work so early for all manner of reasons, taking a small child who really should be in a more respectful arrangement ...

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

Nope but the point I was trying to make before is that babies are made to fit into peoples routines, when I seriously believe that to a certain extent at that age they shouldn't be subject to it. Problem is many mothers HAVE to go back to work for financial reasons or any other number of reasons, which is why these issues (breastfeeding) are being made more public. In a strange convoluted way I blame a shift in society!

Gosh TB... you come across as very militant on this.... I agree with you that parents have to make sure that they train chidren asap and I also think that breatsfeeding is not an excuse for exhibitionism but you, surely, know that not all babies are alike and there are times when it is necessary or unavoidable. TO suıggest that there is NO reason to do this frankly suggests a lack of knowledge of child-rearing which I know, in your case is just not true. You've always set a fine example to the rest of us on here.

Last year, at 11.00 at night we were stuck in a hospital thinking we might lose my father -in-law. As the whole family was there there was no one to look after our three-month old daughter so she had to go with us. Of couyrse, she found it hard to sleep in such circumstances and she was still feeding at night. There was no place for us to breastfeed in the hosptial (Turkish hospital) and so I stood round my wife with a blanket up as she breastfed.

Neither my wife thought we should have needed to go to those lengths but we respected local sensibility. I am sure TB that in this circumstance you would not have slated any mother for openly breastfeeding their child.

Who are we to throw stones.. those of us in glass houses packed with kids?

 

[Starry]

Like I said, neither of us know the circumstances. I just think it's sad that someone who chose to NAW is condemned for it. She is probably doing what she feels is best for her baby.

I have taken both of my oldest children to meetings/events that I just could not get out of when they were little and still nursing. They have always been my focus and are shown much respect in our family, I don't think taking them to such places makes them 'poor children'. It has certainly not done either of them any harm, it was not a common occurrence but it happened.

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

Bottle of expressed?

Sorry no....... peopel have a right to have opinions on how they want their child fed and which medical opinion they agree with. We went with believing we should only breastfeed until their wasn't enough breast milk to go by. We had the right to do that. Are yousaying we don't have the right to do that just because seeing a breat upsets someone in public? Sorry no. The health of our baby comes before the sensibilities of someone else.

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

I'm sorry but I've also seen that "Go on, say something" face which is why confrontational breastfeeding really saddens me. Like I said earlier, it's the easiest thing in the world to feed a baby discreetly in public. And feeding babies shouldn't be about making a point, it should be about feeding!

I have to say that I used to get particularly irritated by the few people I knew who were so smug about their breastfeeding abilities that, in one case, they continued right up to primary school! And I'm sorry, but I could not see any need for the public breastfeeding of children old enough not to need pushchairs who would walk up and announce that they"d "like a titty feed, now please Mummy"!!

You are right, this confrontational attitude (which is not only used for breastfeeding) is sad and should nto be associated with breatfeeding. Yet, let's not criticise the practice because of it's misuse by some individuals. 15 months of being a father has taught me that no one has the gen on child rearing and we are not in a position to tell other people how to bring up their children.


Except of course when it comes to leaving kids at home alone....... don't get me started!!!!!!

 

[tedebear]

Gosh TB... you come across as very militant on this.... I agree with you that parents have to make sure that they train chidren asap and I also think that breatsfeeding is not an excuse for exhibitionism but you, surely, know that not all babies are alike and there are times when it is necessary or unavoidable. TO suıggest that there is NO reason to do this frankly suggests a lack of knowledge of child-rearing which I know, in your case is just not true. You've always set a fine example to the rest of us on here.

Last year, at 11.00 at night we were stuck in a hospital thinking we might lose my father -in-law. As the whole family was there there was no one to look after our three-month old daughter so she had to go with us. Of couyrse, she found it hard to sleep in such circumstances and she was still feeding at night. There was no place for us to breastfeed in the hosptial (Turkish hospital) and so I stood round my wife with a blanket up as she breastfed.

Neither my wife thought we should have needed to go to those lengths but we respected local sensibility. I am sure TB that in this circumstance you would not have slated any mother for openly breastfeeding their child.

Who are we to throw stones.. those of us in glass houses packed with kids?

I've been slated for my views on here constantly - being called militant is the least of my worries, but to assume I would think you and your wife out of order for your situation above really is quite angering. I do realize an emergency situation when it arises.

 

[tedebear]

Sorry no....... peopel have a right to have opinions on how they want their child fed and which medical opinion they agree with. We went with believing we should only breastfeed until their wasn't enough breast milk to go by. We had the right to do that. Are yousaying we don't have the right to do that just because seeing a breat upsets someone in public? Sorry no. The health of our baby comes before the sensibilities of someone else.

You missed my point again. Wheres the problem in expressed breast milk?

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

You missed my point again. Wheres the problem in expressed breast milk?

Our daughter wouldn't touch anything but a real nipple until she was seven months old. She wanted the comfort and warmth of the breast to feel comfortable enough to feed. As I said earlier, all babies are different and this worked for our baby... so why not?

Seems to have worked because we have now have no feeding problems with her....

 

[tedebear]

Our daughter wouldn't touch anything but a real nipple until she was seven months old. She wanted the comfort and warmth of the breast to feel comfortable enough to feed. As I said earlier, all babies are different and this worked for our baby... so why not?

Seems to have worked because we have now have no feeding problems with her....

Exactly as has been said before - completely fine! I haven't a bad word to say about breastfeeding - having done it myself. What I am commenting on is the change in society and how dissapointing I personally find it that women are forced back to work, and back into the social world far quicker these days and thats why breastfeeding has become public property! Why is my point so hard to understand?