[Humour] Best single line in Comedy

[Uh_huh_him]

But it wasn't just racists that voted for Trump though was it?
No ****s did too, didn't they. Stupid f***ing ****s.

 

[BadFish]

Shes got a radiant smile. When she walks in she lights up the room.

When most of your birds walk in a room they light up a fag.

 

[Flounce]

“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”​

 

[goldstone]

I know it's been done before, but it's Xmas (again) and I've just turned on the TV to hear

"Don't tell them Pike"

For me, the second best line in comedy after

"I am playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order"

Your best single line in comedy ?

Nothing you guys have come up with comes anywhere close to these two.

 

[Uh_huh_him]

Nothing you guys have come up with comes anywhere close to these two.

Don't worry.
It's probably just an age thing.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Don’t make me Ang Lee…..

 

[SkirlieWirlie]

That's a challenging W**k!

 

[Is it PotG?]

'One night it was so cold the flame on my lighter froze'

'If I were a peado you'd be safe, you tubby little ginger c###'

'Lengthways? Across'

 

[Bold Seagull]

I always thought one of the funniest was him getting in the lift with the hotel receptionist who when they stop says:

“Are you getting off here Alan or coming all the way with me?”

 

[jcdenton08]

I always thought one of the funniest was him getting in the lift with the hotel receptionist who when they stop says:

“Are you getting off here Alan or coming all the way with me?”

This country

 

[A1X]

“Is there anything to be said for doing another mass?”

 

[hart's shirt]

People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can't trust people.

It was a fire...at Sea Parks.

I hear you're a racist now, Father.

Under 'weaknesses', you've put 'eczema'.

 

[Brovion]

Hello Bob, I'd offer you a, beer but I've only got six.

My brother and I still say that to each other when we visit each other's houses. When we heard it originally (I think it was actually from the film rather than the TV series) we both laughed. Now we completely see Terry's point!

 

[mikeyjh]

:
No, no, no, no, I'm quite specifically asking you, do you forget to tape Cyrano de Bergerac with Gerard...
Michel:
Depardieu...
Alan:
Him, yeah!
Michel:
No, I don't ever forget to tape it because I saw it at the cinema when it came out.
Alan:
Right.
Michel:
Have you ever seen this film?
Alan:
Yes. Yes, I did see it...
Michel:
You like it?
Alan:
I'm... not... so keen on it, I mean, I don't like what they did with the idea, they set in in the 17th century, gave him a long nose, maybe it made it a bit funnier... but, but for the British, Bergerac is John Nettles... I... I thought you ruined it really... I'm just glad you haven't got your hands on "Lovejoy"... Probably set it in the future! When, of course, antiques will be even more expensive... Not a bad idea really!


Sorry not one line but a brilliant Partridgeism.

I would encourage anyone to listen to the radio series, gold...

Michel - Depardieu.

Alan - Depardur.

Michel - Depardieu.

Alan - Depardiur.

Michel - Depardieu.

Alan - Depardiure.

Michel - De!

Alan - De.

Michel - Par!

Alan - Par.

Michel - Dieu!

Alan - Dieu.

Michel - Dieu!

Alan - Dieu.

Michel - Dieu!

Alan - Dieu...

 

[loz]

I hear your a racist now father?

 

[Brovion]

I always thought one of the funniest was him getting in the lift with the hotel receptionist who when they stop says:

“Are you getting off here Alan or coming all the way with me?”

I also like (after his car's been vandalised):

Partridge: "Do you know what it says on the side of my car?"
Receptionist (after a pause): "Tosser?"

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Mr Yakhamoto: "And another old English pub"

 

[heathgate]

I know it's been done before, but it's Xmas (again) and I've just turned on the TV to hear

"Don't tell them Pike"

For me, the second best line in comedy after

"I am playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order"

Your best single line in comedy ?

Spike Milligan

"I am not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens"

 

[POSKETT AT THE VALLEY]

They’ve named him Rodney…..after Dave

 

[SkirlieWirlie]

I would encourage anyone to listen to the radio series, gold...

Michel - Depardieu.

Alan - Depardur.

Michel - Depardieu.

Alan - Depardiur.

Michel - Depardieu.

Alan - Depardiure.

Michel - De!

Alan - De.

Michel - Par!

Alan - Par.

Michel - Dieu!

Alan - Dieu.

Michel - Dieu!

Alan - Dieu.

Michel - Dieu!

Alan - Dieu...

Not directly related to the thread title, but worked for a french company in the past.

We were visited regularly by the "Top Management" from Paris and my boss at the time had no self awareness or filter.

Over lunch he was describing one of the UK divisions new directors to the senior french visitor.

"He looks like a cross between Buzz Lightyear and Gerard Doopy Doo."

"You mean Depardieu?"

"Yeah. Doopy Doo. That's what I said..."

Nearly spat my food out at the time and still makes me smile