Best rhyme in a song

[Kumquat]

Heard a track I hadn't heard for years the other day and it got me thinking, what is the funniest rhyme in a song? It was The Lemonheads song "The outdoor type" and the lyric was "I can't go away with you on a rock-climbing weekend. What if something's on TV and it's never shown again?"

I seem to remember the Billy Bragg one "I had an Uncle who once played for Red Star Belgrade" and "I look like Robert De Niro. I drive a Mitsubishi Zero"

 

[Gritt23]

"I'm as serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer."

 

[Buzzer]

Beautiful South song 'I love you but you're boring':

"When we first met I asked you for your hand. I didn't really mean that hand."

and same song:

"What about the time at that fancy dress when you came dressed as your mum and there I was splendid in my penguin suit so scared to show my bill"

 

[The Legend that IS Lawro]

The Spandau classic : "She used to be a diplomat - but now she's down the Laundromat."

 

[Kumquat]

This is one of my favourites too from Del Amitri for biting social comment

And computer terminals report some gains
On the values of copper and tin
While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs
For the price of a hospital wing

 

[amexee]

So What, by the anti-nowhere league.

Difficult to choose a favorite line, and as virtually all will fall foul of the swear filter, i will nominate the whole song.

 

[Kumquat]

So What, by the anti-nowhere league.

Difficult to choose a favorite line, and as virtually all will fall foul of the swear filter, i will nominate the whole song.

I feel the same about "You Suck" by Consolidated featuring the Yeastie Girls. Go check.

 

[ElectricNaz]

After that, I start jerking off
Up on a mountain, jerking off
Down by the river, jerking off
And that's when I have my epiphany...
You can't spend your whole life jerking off
And after that, I'm going back to the city

 

[amexee]

I feel the same about "You Suck" by Consolidated featuring the Yeastie Girls. Go check.

I just read the lyrics, will have to wait till I am not in a public area before listening to it!

 

[Icy Gull]

These lyrics scared me when I was young, nothing's changed


Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

On a lighter note Syd at his rather crazy best.


I've got a cloak. It's a bit of a joke.
There's a tear up the front. It's red and black.
I've had it for months.
If you think it could look good, then I guess it should.

 

[Box of Frogs]

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staff room
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabokov

Don't Stand So Close to Me - The Police

 

[Norman Potting]

"All Men Are Liars" by Nick Lowe

".......Do you remember Rick Astley?
He had a big fat hit that was ghastly"

Plus lots of songs by Ian Dury

 

[banjo]

Cool for cats Squeeze. A few in here

The Indians send signals
From the rocks above the pass
The cowboys take positions
In the bushes and the grass
The squaw is with the Corporal
She is tied against the tree
She doesn't mind the language
It's the beating she don't need
She lets loose all the horses
When the Corporal is asleep
And he wakes to find the fire's dead
And arrows in his hats
And Davy Crockett rides around
And says it's cool for cats
The Sweeney's doing ninety
'Cos they've got the word to go
They get a gang of villains
In a she'd up at Heathrow
They're counting out the fivers
When the handcuffs lock again
In and out of Wandsworth
With the numbers on their names
It's funny how their missus'
Always look the bleeding same
And meanwhile at the station
There's a couple of likely lads
Who swear like how's your father
And they're very cool for cats
They're cool for cats

To change the mood a little
I've been posing down the pub
On seeing my reflection
I'm looking slightly rough
I fancy this, I fancy that
I wanna be so flash
I give a little muscle
And I spend a little cash
But all I get is bitter and a nasty little rash
And by the time I'm sober
I've forgotten what I've had
And ev'rybody tells me that it's cool to be a cat
Cool for cats

Shake up at the disco
And I think I've got a pull
I ask her lots of questions
And she hangs on to the wall
I kiss her for the first time
And then I take her home
I'm invited in for coffee
And I give the dog a bone
She likes to go to discos
But she's never on her own
I said I'll see you later
And I give her some old chat
But it's not like that on the TV
When it's cool for cats
It's cool for cats

 

[tinycowboy]

We're kind of straddling the border of "worst rhyme ever" as well here - I'll give you two and you can decide whether they're good or bad. Clue: at least one is bad.

If you really wanna get straight
Read Norman Mailer
Or get a new tailor

Lloyd Cole & The Commotions - Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken?

and my favourite karaoke tongue-twister:

The wild dogs cry out in the night,
As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company.
I know that I must do what's right,
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

Toto - Africa.

 

[tinycowboy]

Cool for cats Squeeze. A few in here

Nice, but I'd have gone for Up The Junction myself....

 

[maltaseagull]

She was tall, thin and tarty
and she drove a Maserati

Italina Girls Rod Stewart

 

[Icy Gull]

I have a mansion forget the price
Ain't never been there they tell me it's nice
I live in hotels tear out the walls
I have accountants pay for it all

They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far

My Maserati does 185
I lost my license now I don't drive
I have a limo ride in the back
I lock the doors in case I'm attacked

 

[maltaseagull]

Standing on the water, casting your bread
While the eyes of the idol with the iron head are glowing
Distant ships sailing into the mist
You were born with a snake in both of your fists while a hurricane was blowing
Freedom just around the corner for you
But with truth so far off, what good will it do.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

So swiftly the sun sets in the sky
You rise up and say goodbye to no one
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
Both of their futures, so full of dread, you don't show one
Shedding off one more layer of skin
Keeping one step ahead of the persecutor within.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

You're a man of the mountains, you can walk on the clouds
Manipulator of crowds, you're a dream twister
You're going to Sodom and Gomorrah
But what do you care ? Ain't nobody there would want marry your sister
Friend to the martyr, a friend to the woman of shame
You look into the fiery furnace, see the rich man without any name.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

Well, the Book of Leviticus and Deuteronomy
The law of the jungle and the sea are your only teachers
In the smoke of the twilight on a milk-white steed
Michelangelo indeed could've carved out your features
Resting in the fields, far from the turbulent space
Half asleep near the stars with a small dog licking your face.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

Well, the rifleman's stalking the sick and the lame
Preacherman seeks the same, who'll get there first is uncertain
Nightsticks and water cannons, tear gas, padlocks
Molotov cocktails and rocks behind every curtain
False-hearted judges dying in the webs that they spin
Only a matter of time 'til the night comes stepping in.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

It's a shadowy world, skies are slippery gray
A woman just gave birth to a prince today and dressed him in scarlet
He'll put the priest in his pocket, put the blade to the heat
Take the motherless children off the street
And place them at the feet of a harlot
Oh, Jokerman, you know what he wants
Oh, Jokerman, you don't show any response.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.


:guitar::guitar:

 

[Icy Gull]

Standing on the water, casting your bread
While the eyes of the idol with the iron head are glowing
Distant ships sailing into the mist
You were born with a snake in both of your fists while a hurricane was blowing
Freedom just around the corner for you
But with truth so far off, what good will it do.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

So swiftly the sun sets in the sky
You rise up and say goodbye to no one
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
Both of their futures, so full of dread, you don't show one
Shedding off one more layer of skin
Keeping one step ahead of the persecutor within.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

You're a man of the mountains, you can walk on the clouds
Manipulator of crowds, you're a dream twister
You're going to Sodom and Gomorrah
But what do you care ? Ain't nobody there would want marry your sister
Friend to the martyr, a friend to the woman of shame
You look into the fiery furnace, see the rich man without any name.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

Well, the Book of Leviticus and Deuteronomy
The law of the jungle and the sea are your only teachers
In the smoke of the twilight on a milk-white steed
Michelangelo indeed could've carved out your features
Resting in the fields, far from the turbulent space
Half asleep near the stars with a small dog licking your face.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

Well, the rifleman's stalking the sick and the lame
Preacherman seeks the same, who'll get there first is uncertain
Nightsticks and water cannons, tear gas, padlocks
Molotov cocktails and rocks behind every curtain
False-hearted judges dying in the webs that they spin
Only a matter of time 'til the night comes stepping in.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

It's a shadowy world, skies are slippery gray
A woman just gave birth to a prince today and dressed him in scarlet
He'll put the priest in his pocket, put the blade to the heat
Take the motherless children off the street
And place them at the feet of a harlot
Oh, Jokerman, you know what he wants
Oh, Jokerman, you don't show any response.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.


:guitar::guitar:

I love Dylan and his delivery and the way the lyrics often sound perfect when sung but come on wtf is he really saying in this song? It's like he's cut out phrases and shuffled them about until they sound good, they don't actually mean anything..do they

 

[highway61]

I love Dylan and his delivery and the way the lyrics often sound perfect when sung but come on wtf is he really saying in this song? It's like he's cut out phrases and shuffled them about until they sound good, they don't actually mean anything..do they

I agree to a point Icy definitely. My fave ever Dylan lyrics in terms of what they said to me are these. Already pencilled in for when i take my last journey!!!!

"Every Grain Of Sand"

In the time of my confession, in the hour of my deepest need
When the pool of tears beneath my feet flood every newborn seed
There's a dying voice within me reaching out somewhere
Toiling in the danger and in the morals of despair.

Don't have the inclination to look back on any mistake
Like Cain, I now behold this chain of events that I must break
In the fury of the moment I can see the master's hand
In every leaf that trembles, in every grain of sand.

Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear
Like criminals, they have choked the breath of conscience and good cheer
The sun beat down upon the steps of time to light the way
To ease the pain of idleness and the memory of decay.

I gaze into the doorway of temptation's angry flame
And every time I pass that way I always hear my name
Then onward in my journey I come to understand
That every hair is numbered like every grain of sand.

I have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night
In the violence of a summer's dream, in the chill of a wintry light
In the bitter dance of loneliness fading into space
In the broken mirror of innocence on each forgotten face.

I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other time it's only me
I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand.