Best jokes from Edinburgh Festival

[chucky1973]

What do you call an Aussie that can hold a catch?

A fisherman.


I could go on, but I'll get my coat

 

[DanielT]

Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."

Just doesn't quite work.
There's definitely a one-liner there, it's almost as if he has the words in the wrong order.

Perhaps : I wrote a thesis on the cause of anaphylactic shock, but I can give it to you in a nutshell

 

[Sarisbury Seagull]

My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock......... Bad Minton.

Thats Tim Vine also isn't it?

I think he's great. My favourite of his:

Crime in multi storey car parks, its wrong on so many levels.

 

[countryman]

Thats Tim Vine also isn't it?

I think he's great. My favourite of his:

Crime in multi storey car parks, its wrong on so many levels.

That is a good one.

My favourite is (probably not worded correctly):
A woman took her car to a mechanic and said "eggs keep coming out of my car boot". The mechanic replies " is it a hatchback?"


He is brilliant. I still don't know why I found it so funny when he kept attempting to throw a pen behind his ear.

 

[Stat Brother]

Perhaps : I wrote a thesis on the cause of anaphylactic shock, but I can give it to you in a nutshell

Brilliant, well done.
Just the introduction of the word thesis makes the joke.

 

[Seagull on the wing]

Went down a storm in Worthing last month when our comedy club landed him for two Edinburgh previews. He's relentless. And very funny.

Which runway did he land on...?

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

Which runway did he land on...?

To thunderous applause apparently.