Best jokes from Edinburgh Festival

[Stat Brother]

Why is it that when I read those, in my head I hear them all being told by Tim Vine.

For me, Tim Vine is the master of this type of joke. Here are a few:

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"

I was looking for the directions for Radio 1 in London, and a guy pointed me in the direction of the building. I said: “That’s not a building, thats a cloud!” He said: “Down a bit…”

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"

I could go on, but I'll stop there....

Tim Vine appears on yesterday's Daily Bacon 5-live podcast.

It's well worth a listen as it also includes Jon Ronson talking about psychos and Johnnie Walker (is that the Radio 2 dj?) talking about Savile.

 

[tinycowboy]

Trouble is, he goes for quantity not quality. Yes, some are funny, but many are just cringe-worthy, but he moves on very quickly.

I know what you mean - I have a DVD, but you kind of lose interest after 10 mins or so. Different live though. His best are hilarious, as long as you like absurd humour - some people don't.

 

[BN9 BHA]

My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock......... Bad Minton.

Very good.

 

[BN9 BHA]

, oh, I now feel quite stupid....

though surely he would just play it safe and pick the youngest lapdancer....

Ok. I'll stop now.

Bet you are hard work in a comedy club!!

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Nearest the bull
Made me giggle, but I don't need in depth and meaningful humour to enjoy silliness

 

[public school boy]

Nothin funny here Ma. If those were the best jokes I dread to imagine what the worst were.

 

[MICK PATCHAM]

The funniest thing on that joke list is the guy named Phil Wang..

funnier than his stupid racist joke

 

[public school boy]

funnier than his stupid racist joke

What was that?

 

[keaton]

funnier than his stupid racist joke

If that's racist you must hate blind people


https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/showthread.php?285342-Loftus-Road

 

[One Love]

My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock......... Bad Minton.

I've never heard of a dog called Minton, so for me this joke doesn't work.

 

[The Sock of Poskett]

I know what you mean - I have a DVD, but you kind of lose interest after 10 mins or so. Different live though. His best are hilarious, as long as you like absurd humour - some people don't.

Went down a storm in Worthing last month when our comedy club landed him for two Edinburgh previews. He's relentless. And very funny.

 

[Sausage]

My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock......... Bad Minton.

My dog Sausage ate a sausage. Bad Sausage. er..

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Tim Vine appears on yesterday's Daily Bacon 5-live podcast.

It's well worth a listen as it also includes Jon Ronson talking about psychos and Johnnie Walker (is that the Radio 2 dj?) talking about Savile.

Plagiarism - at least one of those jokes - the say aaah - My dog's died one, is a Tommy Cooper Joke.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

For me, Tim Vine is the master of this type of joke. Here are a few:

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"

I was looking for the directions for Radio 1 in London, and a guy pointed me in the direction of the building. I said: “That’s not a building, thats a cloud!” He said: “Down a bit…”

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"

I could go on, but I'll stop there....

I will try it again now on the right post.

At least one of those - the "say aah" one, is a Tommy Cooper joke. I think the "nearest the bull" one is as well.

 

[BensGrandad]

Nothin funny here Ma. If those were the best jokes I dread to imagine what the worst were.

That was my view It must be to do with my age but I dint find any of them at all funny.

 

[Hyperion]

A joke is in most cases more funny supported by an excellent delivery. Vine uses the quick fire technique but this actually helps pump out some of the weaker material. If someone finds one joke hilarious they often then find the next one more funny than it possibly is. Delivery is the key along with the fluidity of the act. In written form a joke is usually a lot weaker In a lot of cases

 

[Stat Brother]

A joke is in most cases more funny supported by an excellent delivery.

Not that the point needs proving, an old favourite of NSC:-

 

[Hyperion]

Not that the point needs proving, an old favourite of NSC:-

An oldie but a superb example

 

[Kumquat]

It's no surprise the shittest joke is by Marcus Brigstocke.

 

[Kumquat]

I've never heard of a dog called Minton, so for me this joke doesn't work.

Agree. unless the mutt was Jeff. I think there's a joke there somewhere.