Bell Cheeses at work

[dazzer6666]

Similarly, I've noticed that "reach out" seems to have replaced "ask". If I EVER use this expression, either verbally or written, then the recipient shall have my full permission to set fire to my face.

While I'm on. This morning, over the phone, I had to talk someone in Germany through a crushingly dull revised report on Excel. It was quite literally like trying to explain the concept of gravity to a chicken.

Sent from my H8314 using Tapatalk

 

[AmexRuislip]

[tweet]1144954255318671366[/tweet]

OMG
Up to 20 years in the slammer for this

https://www.syracuse.com/us-news/20...e-cream-putting-it-back-in-store-freezer.html

 

[whitelion]

[tweet]1144954255318671366[/tweet]

OMG
Up to 20 years in the slammer for this

https://www.syracuse.com/us-news/20...e-cream-putting-it-back-in-store-freezer.html

That is just gross. How could anyone do that?

 

[whitelion]

View attachment 110617

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Top post!!

 

[Happy Exile]

Meeting this morning. Chair of meeting at end;

"Thanks for all your inputs to this session. We'll be surfacing these during the next session to check progress."

It seems "surface" is the new word for "discuss". When did "discuss" stop being a perfectly useful word describing talking about stuff?

I feel your pain. Where I am "unpack" is the new "explain".

As in "we just need to unpack the figures so everyone is on the same page".

 

[whitelion]

I'm a long time away from "bell-cheesery" having left the office environment thirty years ago. I always appreciate the posts to this thread as it reminds me of what I don't miss. A lot of what is currently posted is still relevant to my time in that environment.

 

[Worried Man Blues]

I'm a long time away from "bell-cheesery" having left the office environment thirty years ago. I always appreciate the posts to this thread as it reminds me of what I don't miss. A lot of what is currently posted is still relevant to my time in that environment.

Yes, I look to make sure I appreciate how lucky I am for having survived and got out the other end

 

[Badger]

Yesterday we got an email about our new "Odour-free Workplace Policy"
I reckon someone just complained about a person with bad BO.


"It is the policy of XXXX to provide a healthy environment for staff, clients and visitors to our offices. XXXX realizes that an increasing number of people have developed sensitivities to certain chemicals and strong fragrances or odours, and has adopted this policy to address potential health concerns and other sensitivities related to strong odours in the workplace.

XXXX supports the creation of an environment that is free from strong fragrances or other odours that may cause adverse physical effects or otherwise threaten the ongoing health and safety of individuals. Excessively strong or pungent scents & odours caused by fragrances or poor hygiene can reflect poorly on our company and may have a detrimental impact on company culture & morale.

We ask for everyone’s cooperation in trying to minimize strong fragrances/odours and body odour in support of our efforts to accommodate health concerns of staff and visitors and the avoidance of unnecessary workplace health and safety hazards.

Potential Health Hazards
Strong fragrances and odours may adversely affect a person’s health, and some or all of the following symptoms may occur:
 Headaches;
 Dizziness;
 Light-headedness;
 Nausea;
 Fatigue;
 Weakness;
 Insomnia;
 Upper respiratory symptoms;
 Shortness of breath;
 Difficulty with concentration; and
 Skin irritation.

Allergic and asthmatic patients, as well as those with other conditions, report that certain odours, even in the smallest amounts, can trigger an attack.
The severity of these symptoms can vary. Some employees may experience mild irritation while others are incapacitated or must give up many activities (such as going to public places) in order to avoid more severe reactions."

 

[Beach Hut]

Yes, I look to make sure I appreciate how lucky I am for having survived and got out the other end

Ditto, since retiring I miss none of this nonsense

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Yesterday we got an email about our new "Odour-free Workplace Policy"
I reckon someone just complained about a person with bad BO.


"It is the policy of XXXX to provide a healthy environment for staff, clients and visitors to our offices. XXXX realizes that an increasing number of people have developed sensitivities to certain chemicals and strong fragrances or odours, and has adopted this policy to address potential health concerns and other sensitivities related to strong odours in the workplace.

XXXX supports the creation of an environment that is free from strong fragrances or other odours that may cause adverse physical effects or otherwise threaten the ongoing health and safety of individuals. Excessively strong or pungent scents & odours caused by fragrances or poor hygiene can reflect poorly on our company and may have a detrimental impact on company culture & morale.

We ask for everyone’s cooperation in trying to minimize strong fragrances/odours and body odour in support of our efforts to accommodate health concerns of staff and visitors and the avoidance of unnecessary workplace health and safety hazards.

Potential Health Hazards
Strong fragrances and odours may adversely affect a person’s health, and some or all of the following symptoms may occur:
 Headaches;
 Dizziness;
 Light-headedness;
 Nausea;
 Fatigue;
 Weakness;
 Insomnia;
 Upper respiratory symptoms;
 Shortness of breath;
 Difficulty with concentration; and
 Skin irritation.

Allergic and asthmatic patients, as well as those with other conditions, report that certain odours, even in the smallest amounts, can trigger an attack.
The severity of these symptoms can vary. Some employees may experience mild irritation while others are incapacitated or must give up many activities (such as going to public places) in order to avoid more severe reactions."

Just when you think you've seen it all...

 

[Spicy]

Yesterday we got an email about our new "Odour-free Workplace Policy"
I reckon someone just complained about a person with bad BO.


"It is the policy of XXXX to provide a healthy environment for staff, clients and visitors to our offices. XXXX realizes that an increasing number of people have developed sensitivities to certain chemicals and strong fragrances or odours, and has adopted this policy to address potential health concerns and other sensitivities related to strong odours in the workplace.

XXXX supports the creation of an environment that is free from strong fragrances or other odours that may cause adverse physical effects or otherwise threaten the ongoing health and safety of individuals. Excessively strong or pungent scents & odours caused by fragrances or poor hygiene can reflect poorly on our company and may have a detrimental impact on company culture & morale.

We ask for everyone’s cooperation in trying to minimize strong fragrances/odours and body odour in support of our efforts to accommodate health concerns of staff and visitors and the avoidance of unnecessary workplace health and safety hazards.

Potential Health Hazards
Strong fragrances and odours may adversely affect a person’s health, and some or all of the following symptoms may occur:
 Headaches;
 Dizziness;
 Light-headedness;
 Nausea;
 Fatigue;
 Weakness;
 Insomnia;
 Upper respiratory symptoms;
 Shortness of breath;
 Difficulty with concentration; and
 Skin irritation.

Allergic and asthmatic patients, as well as those with other conditions, report that certain odours, even in the smallest amounts, can trigger an attack.
The severity of these symptoms can vary. Some employees may experience mild irritation while others are incapacitated or must give up many activities (such as going to public places) in order to avoid more severe reactions."

Wouldn't it have been better management to tell those responsible for whatever smell to do something about it, or would that be politically incorrect and infringe someone's human rights?

 

[Dave the OAP]

We had a brilliant one today

The US are on holiday ( yes I know) and I had a call from a colleague on the other side of the world. “I need this approving but all my colleagues are on holiday”. Ok, says I , what do you want from me “ can you approve it?” No says I it is a technical approval and I am not technical. Oh says the colleague. He then goes through the company phone directory to the US big cheeses, phones them at all hours , and tells them that I told him to call them as I couldn’t help!!!

Complete cockjuggling thundercant

3 in the morning the CEO no less calls me to abuse me about me telling some **** to phone him in the middle of his trump loving family meal!

I call this ****whit today and asked him why he rang all those people and he flatly denied it. I mailed my boss, who happened to have the call recorded and he sent it to me.

I called said ****whit back and played him the call.....he said “ it’s not me “ it ****ing well was him....

Anyway I received a mail today saying I should be more helpful to our colleagues and not have told them to call senior people to get things done....THIS IS HOW IT WORKS FFS

Anyway, I have this ****whit’s card marked and I will have my revenge!

 

[PTC Gull]

We had a brilliant one today

The US are on holiday ( yes I know) and I had a call from a colleague on the other side of the world. “I need this approving but all my colleagues are on holiday”. Ok, says I , what do you want from me “ can you approve it?” No says I it is a technical approval and I am not technical. Oh says the colleague. He then goes through the company phone directory to the US big cheeses, phones them at all hours , and tells them that I told him to call them as I couldn’t help!!!

Complete cockjuggling thundercant

3 in the morning the CEO no less calls me to abuse me about me telling some **** to phone him in the middle of his trump loving family meal!

I call this ****whit today and asked him why he rang all those people and he flatly denied it. I mailed my boss, who happened to have the call recorded and he sent it to me.

I called said ****whit back and played him the call.....he said “ it’s not me “ it ****ing well was him....

Anyway I received a mail today saying I should be more helpful to our colleagues and not have told them to call senior people to get things done....THIS IS HOW IT WORKS FFS

Anyway, I have this ****whit’s card marked and I will have my revenge!

I understand that something called a "Jamie" could be in order here. I have no idea what this is!

 

[timbha]

We had a brilliant one today

The US are on holiday ( yes I know) and I had a call from a colleague on the other side of the world. “I need this approving but all my colleagues are on holiday”. Ok, says I , what do you want from me “ can you approve it?” No says I it is a technical approval and I am not technical. Oh says the colleague. He then goes through the company phone directory to the US big cheeses, phones them at all hours , and tells them that I told him to call them as I couldn’t help!!!

Complete cockjuggling thundercant

3 in the morning the CEO no less calls me to abuse me about me telling some **** to phone him in the middle of his trump loving family meal!

I call this ****whit today and asked him why he rang all those people and he flatly denied it. I mailed my boss, who happened to have the call recorded and he sent it to me.

I called said ****whit back and played him the call.....he said “ it’s not me “ it ****ing well was him....

Anyway I received a mail today saying I should be more helpful to our colleagues and not have told them to call senior people to get things done....THIS IS HOW IT WORKS FFS

Anyway, I have this ****whit’s card marked and I will have my revenge!

Incredible. Please do not leave us in suspense.

I bet that was a shaky call with the CEO.

 

[Badger]

Wouldn't it have been better management to tell those responsible for whatever smell to do something about it, or would that be politically incorrect and infringe someone's human rights?

That would have been way too easy. Plus the HR people do love writing a policy.

I do need to find out what triggered this policy though.

 

[dazzer6666]

Yesterday we got an email about our new "Odour-free Workplace Policy"
I reckon someone just complained about a person with bad BO.


"It is the policy of XXXX to provide a healthy environment for staff, clients and visitors to our offices. XXXX realizes that an increasing number of people have developed sensitivities to certain chemicals and strong fragrances or odours, and has adopted this policy to address potential health concerns and other sensitivities related to strong odours in the workplace.

XXXX supports the creation of an environment that is free from strong fragrances or other odours that may cause adverse physical effects or otherwise threaten the ongoing health and safety of individuals. Excessively strong or pungent scents & odours caused by fragrances or poor hygiene can reflect poorly on our company and may have a detrimental impact on company culture & morale.

We ask for everyone’s cooperation in trying to minimize strong fragrances/odours and body odour in support of our efforts to accommodate health concerns of staff and visitors and the avoidance of unnecessary workplace health and safety hazards.

Potential Health Hazards
Strong fragrances and odours may adversely affect a person’s health, and some or all of the following symptoms may occur:
 Headaches;
 Dizziness;
 Light-headedness;
 Nausea;
 Fatigue;
 Weakness;
 Insomnia;
 Upper respiratory symptoms;
 Shortness of breath;
 Difficulty with concentration; and
 Skin irritation.

Allergic and asthmatic patients, as well as those with other conditions, report that certain odours, even in the smallest amounts, can trigger an attack.
The severity of these symptoms can vary. Some employees may experience mild irritation while others are incapacitated or must give up many activities (such as going to public places) in order to avoid more severe reactions."

Curry delivery for Friday lunch off the agenda then ??

 

[Dave the OAP]

Incredible. Please do not leave us in suspense.

I bet that was a shaky call with the CEO.

I’ll find out on Monday!,!

 

[Dave the OAP]

Incredible. Please do not leave us in suspense.

I bet that was a shaky call with the CEO.

I’ll find out on Monday!,!

 

[Spicy]

That would have been way too easy. Plus the HR people do love writing a policy.

I do need to find out what triggered this policy though.

Maybe you could sniff out the culprit?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Wouldn't it have been better management to tell those responsible for whatever smell to do something about it, or would that be politically incorrect and infringe someone's human rights?

No. If one person in the office stinks then where I work an email will be sent to all 45,000 employees, asking them to register for an online human envornment training course and assessment, with compulsort bi-yearly 'refreshers'.