Rodney Thomas
Well-known member
This is NEVER acceptable! What is wrong with people?!
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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
This is NEVER acceptable! What is wrong with people?!
Fortunately it was only for a couple of minutes. But a couple of minutes too long in my book.
Moshe Gariani
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2005
- 12,202
Does every home have a sighing woman too....?
Having grown incrementally more irritated for the past few years I have recently developed a successfully cathartic coping strategy. This involves me immediately jumping up out of my chair (I will always be seating down at "peak sigh"...) and then bustling around doing a few deliberately low priority tasks - all the time sighing as loudly as I feel I can get away with without making it too blatant and causing a nuclear row...
I have a BONUS BELL CHEESE today 
Keith from The Office is here, sat at MY desk, carrying out an external audit of our quality systems.
Keith from The Office is here, sat at MY desk, carrying out an external audit of our quality systems.
Withdean11
Well-known member
I have a BONUS BELL CHEESE today
Keith from The Office is here, sat at MY desk, carrying out an external audit of our quality systems.
If only it was the IT bloke.
"hit cancel, do NOT hit yes or no"
tinycowboy
Well-known member
I have a BONUS BELL CHEESE today
Keith from The Office is here, sat at MY desk, carrying out an external audit of our quality systems.
Has he had his Scotch egg yet? Don't get him started on "bum bags".......
I have a BONUS BELL CHEESE today
Keith from The Office is here, sat at MY desk, carrying out an external audit of our quality systems.
Keith from the office is a top bloke .
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This thread makes me so HAPPY that I no longer work for a High Street Bank.
I have been sat here all morning in glorious SOLITUDE. I work for a local Charity, running the Village Hall. The only BELL CHEESES I have to deal with are the local PIKEYS who hire the hall once a week for their Auction. The local Village IDIOT pops in from time to time but he is harmless, apart from his massively IRRITATING habit of finishing your sentences for you. I get to take my dog to work and walk him on the recreation ground.
Life is GOOD
I have been sat here all morning in glorious SOLITUDE. I work for a local Charity, running the Village Hall. The only BELL CHEESES I have to deal with are the local PIKEYS who hire the hall once a week for their Auction. The local Village IDIOT pops in from time to time but he is harmless, apart from his massively IRRITATING habit of finishing your sentences for you. I get to take my dog to work and walk him on the recreation ground.
Life is GOOD
KEITH has left now, thank The Lord.
He's passed me with flying colours, and zero NC for me to rectify, so I'm prepared to ignore that fact that he was a disgusting fat mess of a bloke, with a persistent SNIFF and a horrible WET cough.
Bit annoyed that I got back from the hour lunch break, that we'd mutually agreed to, to find him eating at MY desk. You wouldn't do that, would you? shocking liberty.
He's passed me with flying colours, and zero NC for me to rectify, so I'm prepared to ignore that fact that he was a disgusting fat mess of a bloke, with a persistent SNIFF and a horrible WET cough.
Bit annoyed that I got back from the hour lunch break, that we'd mutually agreed to, to find him eating at MY desk. You wouldn't do that, would you? shocking liberty.
What is it with all this dogs and kids stuff ? Dogs - shouldn't be allowed.......and as for kids, once a year at Christmas (as it gives you an excuse to piss off and take them for a pizza or 'buy mum's present' or something), but otherwise, just don't.
We had the 'newborn baby' visit near me in the office this week (it's a massive open plan place, so not uncommon). Call me old Mr Grouch but 2 hours of incessant cooing by mostly middle aged old bints and 'doesn't he look like.........the fecking milkman (or whatever) does my head in.
I bloody love this thread. Everything I can't say at work is here
Ninja Elephant
Doctor Elephant
- Feb 16, 2009
- 18,855
This thread is easily up there with Hiney Art as one of THE all time greats.
There are only a few Bell Cheeses (I feel it deserves capital letters) where I work (one or two in my HUMBLE opinion!) but someone on maternity leave (her role wasn't filled during her ongoing absence, just saying) brought her newborn in today. Cue the usual slackers binning their general desk area and flying over to coo over the baby who was hating it, and screaming her little head off (if the kid's male, he needs to have a word with himself about his cry, poor effort).
I was also accused by a woman (codename - TEAPOT) of breaking her spreadsheet by pressing delete in a cell. I did nothing to the coding, just deleted the contents. She is ADAMANT that this caused the thing to crash, despite the fact that the cell remain unchanged and the drop down menu was still accessible - BECAUSE I ONLY DELETED THE CONTENTS OF THE CELL, YOU HALFWIT NINNY.
There are only a few Bell Cheeses (I feel it deserves capital letters) where I work (one or two in my HUMBLE opinion!) but someone on maternity leave (her role wasn't filled during her ongoing absence, just saying) brought her newborn in today. Cue the usual slackers binning their general desk area and flying over to coo over the baby who was hating it, and screaming her little head off (if the kid's male, he needs to have a word with himself about his cry, poor effort).
I was also accused by a woman (codename - TEAPOT) of breaking her spreadsheet by pressing delete in a cell. I did nothing to the coding, just deleted the contents. She is ADAMANT that this caused the thing to crash, despite the fact that the cell remain unchanged and the drop down menu was still accessible - BECAUSE I ONLY DELETED THE CONTENTS OF THE CELL, YOU HALFWIT NINNY.
I've just received an email saying the office next door to mine has been designated a "dog free area" because someone in there has a severe dog allergy. Why can't that person's desk be in MY office?
Anyone know how to fake a severe dog allergy? Preferably one which doesn't manifest itself for the first 5 months.
Anyone know how to fake a severe dog allergy? Preferably one which doesn't manifest itself for the first 5 months.
Umm - I hate to be the one to point this out, but you realise that YOUR office will now become the DOG CRÈCHE for not just your own dogs, but also the canine ASYLUM SEEKERS from next door....
Rodney Thomas
Well-known member
AND the two sets of dogs are clearly going to hate each other. They've become comfortable in their previous office surroundings but now, once the merger has occurred, there'll be all out dog civil war in the office.
I fear for you Badger... I really do
I think I'm fairly safe in that respect, the office next door is brand new so they've never had any dogs in the first place.
I've also heard a RUMOUR that they are going to put up a WALL in the middle of my office to separate departments. All the dogs will be on the OTHER side of the wall. I'll be implementing some kind of CHECKPOINT CHARLIE to stop any dogs entering our ZONE.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Thankfully I am not blighted by people bringing their ANIMALS in to sit around the office all day. That is an utterly bizarre state of affairs.
We do however have a bloke who has 2 dogs. They are the love of his life. So much so (and I'm not kidding), he has set up a CCTV camera in his living room, which links to an app on his phone. This means he can have his phone on his desk, showing a live grainy feed of his two mangy mutts loafing about on the settee all day. This leads to lots of 'thinking-out-loud' type comments, ostensibly to himself, but clearly designed to somehow make his dogs a topic of conversation that he hopes other people will join in on.
"Milly's ears have pricked up - I wonder what she's heard..."
"Oh just lay still Susie!"
"Don't worry girls, I'll be home soon to let you out"
He lives alone, funnily enough.
We do however have a bloke who has 2 dogs. They are the love of his life. So much so (and I'm not kidding), he has set up a CCTV camera in his living room, which links to an app on his phone. This means he can have his phone on his desk, showing a live grainy feed of his two mangy mutts loafing about on the settee all day. This leads to lots of 'thinking-out-loud' type comments, ostensibly to himself, but clearly designed to somehow make his dogs a topic of conversation that he hopes other people will join in on.
"Milly's ears have pricked up - I wonder what she's heard..."
"Oh just lay still Susie!"
"Don't worry girls, I'll be home soon to let you out"
He lives alone, funnily enough.
I'd get one of those high-pitched whistles so you can really ANNOY the dogs without anyone knowing.
Oh my, this really is taking dog LOVING to new levels. I actually find dog people even more irritating than the dogs themselves.
I'd suggest posting some LAXATIVES to his house and watching as the dogs CRAP all over the living room
I LIKE this idea.