Bell Cheeses at work

[vegster]

Priceless. Once worked with someone who had a week off after their DOG died, then when they didn't turn up the following Monday, I called her and she said she 'wasn't ready to face the world yet, at least for another week'.

The shop where I worked for a while insisted that a 6 month pregnant member of staff who went off for a scan was only allowed a 10 minute lunch break due to the time she had missed ( about 50 minutes )while at the hospital. The owner of the store however, took 5 days off when her dog died.

 

[dazzer6666]

The shop where I worked for a while insisted that a 6 month pregnant member of staff who went off for a scan was only allowed a 10 minute lunch break due to the time she had missed ( about 50 minutes )while at the hospital. The owner of the store however, took 5 days off when her dog died.

Thread direction turns towards 'bosses who are bell cheeses'........

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Thread direction turns towards 'bosses who are bell cheeses'........

I, for one, have nothing for this yet. Some annoying bosses but none so far that've been that bad. I imagine I'm in the minority though!

 

[looney]

The shop where I worked for a while insisted that a 6 month pregnant member of staff who went off for a scan was only allowed a 10 minute lunch break due to the time she had missed ( about 50 minutes )while at the hospital. The owner of the store however, took 5 days off when her dog died.

i dont see it here. Who pays the piper calls the tune, just because they endulge themselves is a facet of the fact that as boss they can!

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

i dont see it here. Who pays the piper calls the tune, just because they endulge themselves is a facet of the fact that as boss they can!

I don't think it was necessarily the time off the owner took as you're right, they can do what they want and it's fair enough that they do, rather the crappy way they treated the scan lady.

 

[vegster]

i dont see it here. Who pays the piper calls the tune, just because they endulge themselves is a facet of the fact that as boss they can!

"All animals are equal, but, some animals are more equal than others. " Ring any bells ?

 

[looney]

"All animals are equal, but, some animals are more equal than others. " Ring any bells ?

Firstly they are not equal, ones a boss the other staff. Yea that reminds me that most leftwingers ive come across(not neccasarily you), have read or watched Aimal Farm but very few have read 1984. The former is a parrable the latter, the more important one, a philosophical critic. This reflects the massive holes they have in their knowledge base. Not sure why ive gone of at a tangent, i thought i would throw it at you and see if I can make you dance for me.

 

[Urgin]

This is the common issue of employer <-> employee. But they're bosses and you'd play on their rules.

 

[Pondicherry]

[MENTION=19864]Flex Your Head[/MENTION] mentioned Google maps which reminded me of our resident thicko

Sat around at lunch there was a conversation regarding the whereabouts of missing Malaysian flight MH370. After the round of the usual theories, our resident super sleuth came up with this pearl of wisdom

‘’What I don’t understand is, Why they can’t search for it on Google Maps?

We almost did the heimlich maneuver on one bloke as he choked on his lunch laughing.

On September 7, Google Inc. helped the search for the aviator through its connections to contractors that provide satellite imagery for its Google Earth software. Richard Branson, a British billionaire and friend of Fossett, said he and others were coordinating efforts with Google to see if any of the high-resolution images might include Fossett's aircraft.

 

[Badger]

Priceless. Once worked with someone who had a week off after their DOG died, then when they didn't turn up the following Monday, I called her and she said she 'wasn't ready to face the world yet, at least for another week'.

I'm wondering what will happen if one of the dogs in my office dies, will EVERYONE have to take a week off to get over it? We'll probably all be forced to attend some kind of funeral service.

 

[StonehamPark]

Ugh, all going off here this morning.
Painful conversation. I'm three minutes from throwing myself out the window*.

*I'm on the ground floor.

 

[Norman Potting]

I'm wondering what will happen if one of the dogs in my office dies, will EVERYONE have to take a week off to get over it? We'll probably all be forced to attend some kind of funeral service.

Minutes silence, applause?

 

[Badger]

Minutes silence, applause?

A minute without it F***ING barking or squeaking.

 

[Staly]

Right, I’ve only really scratched the surface of the numerous annoyances associated with L, the sighing woman.

The one that’s really getting to me at the moment is her going to the toilet routine. This is already troublesome given her inability to leave a room at the first attempt, already referred to above, and the peerless amount of faffing she’s capable of, but she’s developed a number of other idiosyncrasies related to her frequent evacuation trips which are causing me to gradually lose my grip on sanity.

So, to set the scene we work on a large university campus, which means that there are numerous toilet facilities within reach of our office. The nearest ladies’ is 30 seconds’ walk away, but is open to students and staff and thus of sometimes questionable hygiene. The male equivalent next door is my usual port of call and 9 times out of 10 is perfectly serviceable with a bit of judicious pre business clean up.

L however will never use this facility, and when questioned as to why will darkly murmur something about “blood on the seats” in a way which discourages further questioning. She instead seems determined to visit every facility on campus in a quest to find a loo which meets her exacting standards. She has been spotted exiting cubicles in buildings across the other side of campus, at least 20 minutes’ walk away from this office.

I know this because of another colleague who we shall call M. The office dynamic between L and M is very interesting, and may form the basis of a future post. Suffice it to say that they hate each others’ guts. M is very well connected, and has numerous friends throughout the campus. She regularly moans to these friends about L’s behaviour and personality, and they regularly report back sightings to M, which are conveyed to me (“Sharon saw L going to the loo in the Chemistry building this morning”) in a “what are you going to do about it?” sort of tone.

L meanwhile calls these friends “M’s spy network”, and is convinced that M has given orders that she be followed and reported on. She has cited this spy network as one of the reasons why she has to visit a different loo on each occasion “to shake them off”. Also she goes to the loo so often that she doesn’t want to be seen going to the same one twice unless people start to gossip about her.

So, each toilet break takes between 20 and 40 minutes, depending on how far she’s ranging on each particular occasion. This is coupled with the fact that she takes at least 5 such breaks a day.

Why am I interested in my female colleague's toilet routines you may ask? Only because I’m supposed to be her line manager, which means I’m supposed to get a reasonable amount of meaningful work out of her each day. So I’m left with a dilemma- either accept that she’s going to take at least 90 minutes every day urinating, or travelling to and fro between urinations (she’d never poo at work), or tackle her on the subject, thus leading to an uncomfortable conversation about her toilet habits which, given her hypochondria would inevitably be turned to her various “ailments” (she once told me “I’ve got tumours the size of melons pressing on me bladder”)and given her “deafness” would need to be conducted at full volume and involve endless repetition of the bits she didn’t want to hear.

Really, I just want a quiet life. I never asked for staff…

 

[Norman Potting]

Right, I’ve only really scratched the surface of the numerous annoyances associated with L, the sighing woman.

The one that’s really getting to me at the moment is her going to the toilet routine. This is already troublesome given her inability to leave a room at the first attempt, already referred to above, and the peerless amount of faffing she’s capable of, but she’s developed a number of other idiosyncrasies related to her frequent evacuation trips which are causing me to gradually lose my grip on sanity.

So, to set the scene we work on a large university campus, which means that there are numerous toilet facilities within reach of our office. The nearest ladies’ is 30 seconds’ walk away, but is open to students and staff and thus of sometimes questionable hygiene. The male equivalent next door is my usual port of call and 9 times out of 10 is perfectly serviceable with a bit of judicious pre business clean up.

L however will never use this facility, and when questioned as to why will darkly murmur something about “blood on the seats” in a way which discourages further questioning. She instead seems determined to visit every facility on campus in a quest to find a loo which meets her exacting standards. She has been spotted exiting cubicles in buildings across the other side of campus, at least 20 minutes’ walk away from this office.

I know this because of another colleague who we shall call M. The office dynamic between L and M is very interesting, and may form the basis of a future post. Suffice it to say that they hate each others’ guts. M is very well connected, and has numerous friends throughout the campus. She regularly moans to these friends about L’s behaviour and personality, and they regularly report back sightings to M, which are conveyed to me (“Sharon saw L going to the loo in the Chemistry building this morning”) in a “what are you going to do about it?” sort of tone.

L meanwhile calls these friends “M’s spy network”, and is convinced that M has given orders that she be followed and reported on. She has cited this spy network as one of the reasons why she has to visit a different loo on each occasion “to shake them off”. Also she goes to the loo so often that she doesn’t want to be seen going to the same one twice unless people start to gossip about her.

So, each toilet break takes between 20 and 40 minutes, depending on how far she’s ranging on each particular occasion. This is coupled with the fact that she takes at least 5 such breaks a day.

Why am I interested in my female colleague's toilet routines you may ask? Only because I’m supposed to be her line manager, which means I’m supposed to get a reasonable amount of meaningful work out of her each day. So I’m left with a dilemma- either accept that she’s going to take at least 90 minutes every day urinating, or travelling to and fro between urinations (she’d never poo at work), or tackle her on the subject, thus leading to an uncomfortable conversation about her toilet habits which, given her hypochondria would inevitably be turned to her various “ailments” (she once told me “I’ve got tumours the size of melons pressing on me bladder”)and given her “deafness” would need to be conducted at full volume and involve endless repetition of the bits she didn’t want to hear.

Really, I just want a quiet life. I never asked for staff…

Excellent - perhaps we could have a brief daily update around this time to read over coffee. Does any work actually ever get done in your office?

 

[Cian]

On September 7, Google Inc. helped the search for the aviator through its connections to contractors that provide satellite imagery for its Google Earth software. Richard Branson, a British billionaire and friend of Fossett, said he and others were coordinating efforts with Google to see if any of the high-resolution images might include Fossett's aircraft.

It didn't help a bit, though.

The amount of people who assume Google Maps is live is scary, its got worse since they added the traffic data.

 

[Rodney Thomas]

Right, I’ve only really scratched the surface of the numerous annoyances associated with L, the sighing woman.

The one that’s really getting to me at the moment is her going to the toilet routine. This is already troublesome given her inability to leave a room at the first attempt, already referred to above, and the peerless amount of faffing she’s capable of, but she’s developed a number of other idiosyncrasies related to her frequent evacuation trips which are causing me to gradually lose my grip on sanity.

So, to set the scene we work on a large university campus, which means that there are numerous toilet facilities within reach of our office. The nearest ladies’ is 30 seconds’ walk away, but is open to students and staff and thus of sometimes questionable hygiene. The male equivalent next door is my usual port of call and 9 times out of 10 is perfectly serviceable with a bit of judicious pre business clean up.

L however will never use this facility, and when questioned as to why will darkly murmur something about “blood on the seats” in a way which discourages further questioning. She instead seems determined to visit every facility on campus in a quest to find a loo which meets her exacting standards. She has been spotted exiting cubicles in buildings across the other side of campus, at least 20 minutes’ walk away from this office.

I know this because of another colleague who we shall call M. The office dynamic between L and M is very interesting, and may form the basis of a future post. Suffice it to say that they hate each others’ guts. M is very well connected, and has numerous friends throughout the campus. She regularly moans to these friends about L’s behaviour and personality, and they regularly report back sightings to M, which are conveyed to me (“Sharon saw L going to the loo in the Chemistry building this morning”) in a “what are you going to do about it?” sort of tone.

L meanwhile calls these friends “M’s spy network”, and is convinced that M has given orders that she be followed and reported on. She has cited this spy network as one of the reasons why she has to visit a different loo on each occasion “to shake them off”. Also she goes to the loo so often that she doesn’t want to be seen going to the same one twice unless people start to gossip about her.

So, each toilet break takes between 20 and 40 minutes, depending on how far she’s ranging on each particular occasion. This is coupled with the fact that she takes at least 5 such breaks a day.

Why am I interested in my female colleague's toilet routines you may ask? Only because I’m supposed to be her line manager, which means I’m supposed to get a reasonable amount of meaningful work out of her each day. So I’m left with a dilemma- either accept that she’s going to take at least 90 minutes every day urinating, or travelling to and fro between urinations (she’d never poo at work), or tackle her on the subject, thus leading to an uncomfortable conversation about her toilet habits which, given her hypochondria would inevitably be turned to her various “ailments” (she once told me “I’ve got tumours the size of melons pressing on me bladder”)and given her “deafness” would need to be conducted at full volume and involve endless repetition of the bits she didn’t want to hear.

Really, I just want a quiet life. I never asked for staff…

Seeing as you are based in Manchester I'm going to assume that the university is either of the two Manchester uni's or Salford. (I'm sure people have been to some of these but I can confirm for those who haven't that) All of these are very large uni's and wouldn't really qualify as campus establishments. It would take a good 30 minutes to navigate from one end to the other for at least 2 out of the 3 mentioned.

If you're based at the University of Manchester campus let her know that MBS West (2nd floor) has a lovely quiet toilet (it's a gents - but there's a ladies' toilet that I can only presume is equally as quiet). This is where I usually go for a bit of 'me' time.

 

[Staly]

Excellent - perhaps we could have a brief daily update around this time to read over coffee. Does any work actually ever get done in your office?

Oooh, coffee, that's a good idea. Plenty of work gets done, just not much of it by her.

 

[Dr Q]

Seeing as you are based in Manchester I'm going to assume that the university is either of the two Manchester uni's or Salford. (I'm sure people have been to some of these but I can confirm for those who haven't that) All of these are very large uni's and wouldn't really qualify as campus establishments. It would take a good 30 minutes to navigate from one end to the other for at least 2 out of the 3 mentioned.

If you're based at the University of Manchester campus let her know that MBS West (2nd floor) has a lovely quiet toilet (it's a gents - but there's a ladies' toilet that I can only presume is equally as quiet). This is where I usually go for a bit of 'me' time.

She would have struggled in the Geology Building (Williamson) in the early 90's. Back then, bogs on the ground floor in there looked like an active dirty protest was ongoing (certainly in the mens, but by all accounts the womens as well).

 

[Staly]

Seeing as you are based in Manchester I'm going to assume that the university is either of the two Manchester uni's or Salford. (I'm sure people have been to some of these but I can confirm for those who haven't that) All of these are very large uni's and wouldn't really qualify as campus establishments. It would take a good 30 minutes to navigate from one end to the other for at least 2 out of the 3 mentioned.

If you're based at the University of Manchester campus let her know that MBS West (2nd floor) has a lovely quiet toilet (it's a gents - but there's a ladies' toilet that I can only presume is equally as quiet). This is where I usually go for a bit of 'me' time.

Hmmm, MBS. She probably goes there a lot because it's on the way to Blackwell's. I suspect that a lot of her "toilet breaks" are actually spent in Blackwell's.