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Bell Cheeses at work



Aircon is a constant battle. Ours is a small office with only a handful, but the girlies always grizzle when it gets "too cold" (most of them are in skirts and flipflops, so what do you EXPECT ??).

View attachment 162462
I got me one of these USB desktop jobbies for less than a tenner at B&Q. Lifesaver.
Yep, think I am going to invest in one later! They have been given free jumpers and fleeces for the cold weather, USE THEM!
 




Another one is I have a colleague who whines when I don’t cc her into emails even though there is absolutely no need too, particularly as these are two very old acquaintances of mine whom I have just bought on some business with. Tl make it worse, she will shout across the office to ask why I haven’t cc’d her in!
 


Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,552
In the field
I was at a meeting in London last week at one of high rise office buildings in The City. We were on the only floor of the building where the air con was broken, on a day where it seemed like the temperature was about a billion degrees. What I witnessed was the real life equivalent of the accidental reply to all farce you get occasionally when some bellend has emailed the entire company by accident and the subsequent days are taken up by everyone replying 'please take me off this thread' etc. As people arrived in small groups for the main meeting we were having, literally every single person walked in and, without fail, announced 'oh, the air con isn't working in here. Has anyone told the facilities team?' - no, we just all collectively decided that we'd not say anything and just wait until we were melted pools of flesh on the shiny floor!

I feel better for getting that off my chest.
 


timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
10,518
Sussex
Another one is I have a colleague who whines when I don’t cc her into emails even though there is absolutely no need too, particularly as these are two very old acquaintances of mine whom I have just bought on some business with. Tl make it worse, she will shout across the office to ask why I haven’t cc’d her in!
Start cc’ing her with some pretty raunchy personal stuff
 


WhingForPresident

.
NSC Patron
Feb 23, 2009
17,269
Marlborough
Guy I used to work with was known as having the reverse midas touch- everything he touched turned to shit, yet he thought he was the dogs bollocks and stuck his nose into everything, covering it with his shitty fingerprints. He was a 'roller-coaster enthusiast' who once set his Zoom background to a picture of a roller coaster during a meeting and sat there with a shit-eating grin waiting for someone to comment on it (presumably so he could tell everyone he went on it?) Meeting carried on and nobody mentioned it.

He got booted out of one regional team for lying about his family members dying to get time off. His mum 'died' thrice and he was once half an hour late for work because his wife 'had to be resuscitated' that morning.

He then applied for a job in my team, my boss was apoplectic that he even had the nerve to go for it considering we knew all about his antics and his 'ability'. He ended up at another regional team then got sacked for drunkenly slagging off important stakeholders on the company Twitter account.

All was lovely when we no longer had to deal with him. Til he turned up working for a company we work with closely on a daily basis and share a f***ing office with. He truly is the unflushable turd.
 






South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patron
Jan 24, 2009
2,543
Shoreham-a-la-mer
Another one is I have a colleague who whines when I don’t cc her into emails even though there is absolutely no need too, particularly as these are two very old acquaintances of mine whom I have just bought on some business with. Tl make it worse, she will shout across the office to ask why I haven’t cc’d her in!
But how does she know she’s not being cc’d in?
 


Sirnormangall

Well-known member
Sep 21, 2017
3,185
Guy I used to work with was known as having the reverse midas touch- everything he touched turned to shit, yet he thought he was the dogs bollocks and stuck his nose into everything, covering it with his shitty fingerprints. He was a 'roller-coaster enthusiast' who once set his Zoom background to a picture of a roller coaster during a meeting and sat there with a shit-eating grin waiting for someone to comment on it (presumably so he could tell everyone he went on it?) Meeting carried on and nobody mentioned it.

He got booted out of one regional team for lying about his family members dying to get time off. His mum 'died' thrice and he was once half an hour late for work because his wife 'had to be resuscitated' that morning.

He then applied for a job in my team, my boss was apoplectic that he even had the nerve to go for it considering we knew all about his antics and his 'ability'. He ended up at another regional team then got sacked for drunkenly slagging off important stakeholders on the company Twitter account.

All was lovely when we no longer had to deal with him. Til he turned up working for a company we work with closely on a daily basis and share a f***ing office with. He truly is the unflushable turd.
Wonderful stuff - looks like you’ll be able to keep this excellent thread going on your own for a while!
 
















Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,552
In the field
For those who have followed this thread from the very beginning, you might remember my struggles with the Prawn Cocktail Crisps Monster from the heady days of 2014.

What I’m about to write is scarcely believable, but here we go. Although I’ve moved jobs a couple of times since I last encountered her (and she thankfully left the company I was with originally before me), I have kept in touch with a couple of people who were friends of hers.

I got an email today to let me know that PCCM had sadly passed away suddenly last week. All very, very sad I’m sure you’ll agree. I’m going to hell though because I had to strain every sinew in my body not to break into laughter when I was told she had died as a result of cardiac arrest brought on by her choking on her dinner.

Genuinely.

RIP, PCCM.

@Badger @hans kraay fan club
 
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BrightonCottager

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2013
2,774
Brighton
I took one day of industrial action (endorsed by a huge majority of union members in a ballot) and Payroll emailed me to tell me that I will be deducted 29 days of pay, as per the "CEO's" instructions.
Who's the Bellcheese?
 


Happy Exile

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Apr 19, 2018
2,135
I took one day of industrial action (endorsed by a huge majority of union members in a ballot) and Payroll emailed me to tell me that I will be deducted 29 days of pay, as per the "CEO's" instructions.
Who's the Bellcheese?
Aren't they only allowed to deduct for days spent on strike?
 




BrightonCottager

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2013
2,774
Brighton
Aren't they only allowed to deduct for days spent on strike?
I wasn't on strike - it was action short of a strike, but calculated to disrupt the organisation and its product. The boss thinks that its OK to withdraw pay for the whole period over which that was supposed to be taking place, even though its only a part of what I and colleagues do. The union is now out on strike about this approach and I foresee massive numbers of grievance claims.

Anyway, I don't to want to derail the humorous bellcheesery of this thread, so I'll update in future. Get back to crisp eating and mindless management speak, everyone.
 






Fignon's Ponytail

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2012
4,479
On the Beach
Our BC has exceeded himself. Was given half a dozen job folders by the production manager at 3.30 on Thursday afternoon (he finishes at 4.15) to plan artwork for printing - no deadline, just needed doing as and when he could get them done.
Production manager was spoken to by the boss on Friday as BC had emailed him & complained about being given work to do, so late in the day...even though he still had the whole of Friday to do them while WFH. Didn't take any of the work he was given home with him, didn't do any of the jobs...so basically had a day off doing nothing.
Boss hasn't said a word to him about it. Production manager is fuming.
 


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