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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
Lankyseagull
One Step Beyond
My boss often comes out with "If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got" when he's looking for something to change.
I can't help but think "If you always say what you've always said, then it's no wonder no-one takes any notice".....
I can't help but think "If you always say what you've always said, then it's no wonder no-one takes any notice".....
Ooooh, hopefully she takes a bite out of one, then puts it back in the RUSTLING plastic punnet afterwards, before taking it back out, with more RUSTLING, 4 seconds later for maximum effect ? Ideally there would be some form of dip involved, in a separate, but equally NOISY pot.
I bet she's started off with a Kit Kat though.
Barham's tash
Well-known member
Office lunch theft: the internet reacts http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-43604598
Can’t work out exactly who the bell cheeses are in this one. I think all of them.
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Can’t work out exactly who the bell cheeses are in this one. I think all of them.
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Theatre of Trees
Well-known member
Read through some of that this morning, was promising but kind of died a death when nothing eventually happened. Saying that the best comment was by an HR manager who once had to investigate who was persistantly snapping a colleague's carrot sticks in half.
It's my 10,000th post, so OBVIOUSLY it has to be on this thread.
There was the "Real Estate Wealth Expo" in Toronto last weekend, which seemed like a business bullshitters wet dream. Business EXPERTS like Pitbull and Sylvester Stallone handing out financial advice.
https://torontolife.com/city/business/financial-advice-got-celebs-like-pitbull-sylvester-stallone-real-estate-wealth-expo/
Some of the highlights:
All you need to work for Alex Rodriguez is a PhD.
Not the kind that you go to school for, though. According to A-Rod, the abbreviation stands for “poor, hungry and driven.”
All you need in life is air to breathe and legs to walk with.
Pitbull was also on the expo’s agenda, and this was one of his insightful business tips. Another was to, “Shut the **** up and listen.”
Sylvester Stallone was the most hyped part of the seven-hour day. He entered to fireworks and confetti as “Eye of the Tiger” blared from the convention centre’s sound system. Despite all this, a few minutes into his speech he admitted he hadn’t actually prepared anything to say. “I’m just talking,” he said. But it’s okay, he explained, because fear is his best friend. In fact, he said, if he had another child he would name it Fear.
There was the "Real Estate Wealth Expo" in Toronto last weekend, which seemed like a business bullshitters wet dream. Business EXPERTS like Pitbull and Sylvester Stallone handing out financial advice.
https://torontolife.com/city/business/financial-advice-got-celebs-like-pitbull-sylvester-stallone-real-estate-wealth-expo/
Some of the highlights:
All you need to work for Alex Rodriguez is a PhD.
Not the kind that you go to school for, though. According to A-Rod, the abbreviation stands for “poor, hungry and driven.”
All you need in life is air to breathe and legs to walk with.
Pitbull was also on the expo’s agenda, and this was one of his insightful business tips. Another was to, “Shut the **** up and listen.”
Sylvester Stallone was the most hyped part of the seven-hour day. He entered to fireworks and confetti as “Eye of the Tiger” blared from the convention centre’s sound system. Despite all this, a few minutes into his speech he admitted he hadn’t actually prepared anything to say. “I’m just talking,” he said. But it’s okay, he explained, because fear is his best friend. In fact, he said, if he had another child he would name it Fear.
jakarta
Well-known member
I'll bet it didn't feel like you were there for seven hours?
I imagine the time FLEW by with such engaging and inspirational speakers.
jakarta
Well-known member
I've come across flicking the peanut, but not in a work context!
Office bellend has been finally let go! I’m over the moon. The place is so quiet all of a sudden, it’s making work just about bearable again. Thanks for allowing me to vent here, now I must go find something else to be annoyed about. I’m considering taking umbridge with the postman who comes in every day being overly jolly and trying to make jokes all the time, but I may not. We shall see.
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Bevendean Hillbilly
New member
In my new job there is a director who, thankfully, only comes in twice a week but...when he is in he spends the whole time ambling around the office interrupting everyone and telling them how he's going to be a Bitcoin millionaire.
His other trick is barging onto the table in the canteen where I sit and starts regaling us with tales of all those he's "sacked".
Prize bell.
His other trick is barging onto the table in the canteen where I sit and starts regaling us with tales of all those he's "sacked".
Prize bell.
I recommend asking him how his bitcoin stock is doing, when he tells you how much he has, ask him how much he put in. I did this exact thing yesterday to my boss, not realising it had crumbled by about 60%.
Bevendean Hillbilly
New member
That is exactly what I plan doing.
That idiot has made me look at Bitcoin rates daily for months in the hope that the world will see that it's a south sea bubble, a tulip bulb crash or a .com implosion.
He's in for a lot of liability if what he says is true.
Like Mark Twain said "I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries that did my heart good like medicine"
His would do this for me.
Papa Lazarou
Living in a De Zerbi wonderland
I know it's not come up for a while, but there has been some pet related cheesery in the past.
This should cheer you all up
20% of offices now allow pets to work...
https://www.sundaypost.com/fp/natio...yees-to-to-bring-their-furry-friends-to-work/
This should cheer you all up
20% of offices now allow pets to work...
https://www.sundaypost.com/fp/natio...yees-to-to-bring-their-furry-friends-to-work/
Sounds like that has already started. Look forward to the updates.
Shorts , I bet he wears shorts !!
Haha he doesnt quite stay around long enough to properly annoy me, hes only in for about two minutes each day so it hasn't had a full force effect so far.
Also, you are quite correct, he DOES wear shorts, whatever the weather.
TSB
Captain Hindsight
That's always the point where one of my mates would pull some hideous fat girl, just so he didn't feel like he'd ended the night empty-handed.
You said you'd never tell!!!
Brings back HORRIBLE memories.
I once read an article saying how allowing dogs in the office improved everyone's mood and increased production. I can only assume they excluded a fairly large percentage of people who don't like/are scared of/are allergic to dogs.
Meanwhile, the utter fucnugget on my team handed in his notice last week
It's now hilariously awkward as he works out his notice. My boss has never really liked him, and I'm pretty sure he encouraged him to look elsewhere when it became apparent he was an irritating pain in the arse who derailed EVERY team meeting or discussion. He's worked from home a couple of days since handing in his notice, and when he has come in it's been 10-4ish. I have no idea what he's doing because he hasn't picked up any of the tasks and no one is talking to him. It's quite refreshing to see him so quiet, normally he'd be asking at least 30 questions throughout the day, either things he could very quickly find out himself, or leading questions implying everyone else's work is wrong and he's going to do it right.I think we'll be having a team celebration after he leaves.
Can't check now but sure there is some office-pet related stuff earlier in the thread......Brings back HORRIBLE memories.
I once read an article saying how allowing dogs in the office improved everyone's mood and increased production. I can only assume they excluded a fairly large percentage of people who don't like/are scared of/are allergic to dogs.
Meanwhile, the utter fucnugget on my team handed in his notice last week
I think we'll be having a team celebration after he leaves.
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