Bell Cheeses at work

[Albalbion]

If she uses a Yoda voice whilst uttering those sentences, then it is just the approach of May the fourth that is doing it, she is not the bellcheese you are looking for, she can go on her way.

I was thinking that while I wrote that Christ she sounds like yoda [emoji23]

 

[dazzer6666]

If she uses a Yoda voice whilst uttering those sentences, then it is just the approach of May the fourth that is doing it, she is not the bellcheese you are looking for, she can go on her way.......she can.

Corrected for you [emoji23][emoji23]

The latest ‘Agile’ twattism that seems to be flooding the organisation is the ‘Hothouse’. A few very senior people have got it into their heads that calling endless workshops (or even more accurately ‘talking shops’) where nothing gets decided ‘Hothouses’ makes them sound much more serious and dynamic. They’re not......it’s still the same people agonising over the tiniest things and all being afraid to change anything and loving the sound of their own voices.

The concept is a good one, but when you have to have five hothouses to make a decision the point seems to have been missed..............

******s.

 

[Ex-Staffs Gull]

IT is a bit of a charlatan function, unable to deliver projects to cost, time or scope.

That's a B###ocks generalisation IMO

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[dazzer6666]

That's a B###ocks generalisation IMO

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Biggest problem for IT on the delivery of projects is usually the end user constantly changing the spec.........

 

[BNthree]

Bellcheese in my office has picked up a nice new annoying trait, she now repeats words in her sentence unnecessarily all day, it may be that she has done this for a while and I’ve just noticed it, but now that I have it is like nails on a blackboard all day long. For example she will say something like “I do this, that and the other... I do” “you will have to go there... you will” “this printer doesn’t work... it doesn’t”.

So annoying.

It's common in south Wales to do that, is she Welsh?

 

[beorhthelm]

IT is a bit of a charlatan function, unable to deliver projects to cost, time or scope.

IT is just fine thank you, its the layers of management and the ever changing sands of scope that are the problem.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I’m receiving an increasing number of work emails from people who want to “reach out” to me. I don’t work for a charity or the church so I’m assuming that this is the latest new business speak designed to enrich our lives. Or maybe it was a typo and they meant to say “retch” - which would be more appropriate because that’s what it makes me want to do.

 

[Albalbion]

It's common in south Wales to do that, is she Welsh?

She is not no, I can only assume she is from under some sort of bridge.

Corrected for you

Haha that gave me a chuckle.

 

[Easy 10]

Unless you are a fireman or a lifeguard, never, ever "reach out" to me.

I will ignore you.

 

[clarkey]

Expecting a project to 'wash its own face' is one I heard for the first time yesterday, and never want to hear again.

 

[dazzer6666]

Expecting a project to 'wash its own face' is one I heard for the first time yesterday, and never want to hear again.

Blimey, that’s not new.........my old boss was using that in the 80s. Used to be used in the context of credit facilities where the revenue/income covered interest and repayments.

 

[Guinness Boy]

On the subject of annoying office buzz words does anyone else get asked to "socialise" things? I got asked the other day "could you socialise this with the client?". Do you mean "send it to them"?

 

[happypig]

I had an (American) customer say to me the other day "Any problem, reach out to me". I asked him "We don't use reach out on our PCs, can I not ring or email ?".
He then tried to explain to me what "reach out" means and, after some discussion, ended up agreeing it means, in this context, ring or email.
Time well spent I feel.

 

[Brian Fantana]

I had an (American) customer say to me the other day "Any problem, reach out to me". I asked him "We don't use reach out on our PCs, can I not ring or email ?".
He then tried to explain to me what "reach out" means and, after some discussion, ended up agreeing it means, in this context, ring or email.
Time well spent I feel.

This is excellent

 

[Brian Fantana]

We've got this pinned up in our office. If we hear anyone say 'reach out' on the phone, or indeed catch evidence of it in an email then the culprit is marched over to the sign and made to go through the flow chart.

 

[FamilyGuy]

Biggest problem for IT on the delivery of projects is usually the end user constantly changing the spec.........

Damn those Users and their real-world requirements! Always getting in the way of us IT guys!!

 

[FamilyGuy]

I had an (American) customer say to me the other day "Any problem, reach out to me". I asked him "We don't use reach out on our PCs, can I not ring or email ?".
He then tried to explain to me what "reach out" means and, after some discussion, ended up agreeing it means, in this context, ring or email.
Time well spent I feel.

t

 

[The Clamp]

Blimey, that’s not new.........my old boss was using that in the 80s. Used to be used in the context of credit facilities where the revenue/income covered interest and repayments.

yeah, that is an old one. My Stepdad used it in the 60's!

 

[Barham's tash]

Biggest problem for IT on the delivery of projects is usually the end user constantly changing the spec.........

Where I am it usually starts with a clear goal which the IT bods say yes to only to come back at each major juncture with a reduced capability due to system limitations and ever bigger cost and longer timescale so the spec starts as being fit for purpose and ends with broadly being the same limp system we had before and zero improvements.

We’re just doing one atm where we’ve effectively sacked a third party provider because of the number of internal/external client complaints and limitations only to spend $$$$$$$$$$ on another vendors solution and have EXACTLY the same limitations as before and in some cases a deterioration in service. Oh and it’s also now 9 months late and at 1.35x cap ex on the original estimate.

But of course it’s not the sponsor’s fault. FACEPALM


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[Badger]

Another one you can thank the Yanks for. In a slight reversal one of my American colleagues was getting his knickers in a twist about the number of his countrymen in our New York office who have started referring to their cell phones as mobiles, he sees it as the thin end of the wedge - very un-American

Do you ever find yourself using a word or phrase which is very common in the UK, and get greeted with a blank stare when no one understands what you're on about? I had it the other day when I used the word "fortnight". Apparently that hasn't made its way across the Atlantic. I guess I should have realised when people talked about bi-weekly meetings instead of fortnightly meetings.