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Bell Cheeses at work



sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,965
town full of eejits
the twitt i work with didn't get enough roof sheets for the job today , he also forgot the shade cloth all together for a greenhouse we were framing up , after taking stock on site i sent him back to the hardware shop (80km round trip).....i was ready for him and gave him a ring ...he was 15 minutes away so i decided to go to woolies to get a drink ...this is where the fun started , on approaching the check out it became evident there was a person with numerous issues (one of them being off his face ) attempting to get a dollar twenty refund for a packet of rizzlas he had bought....no receipt....he was being a proper din but nevertheless the staff humoured him for 5 minutes until i gave him 2 bucks and suggested he call it a day , the lady behind him then proceeded to ring up too large a bill on her debit card and then spent 5 minutes being embarrassed and dithering about which items to put back......now my turn to pay for my chicken , lettuce and mayo sandwich and drink ...$6.70 which i placed on the counter by the till......the girl looked at me blankly and appeared to be having some trouble.....i asked her if she was ok ......she said there's only $3.70 there , i replied that closer inspection would reveal that there was actually the correct fee for the transaction as they were , in fact , 3x $2 coins......FFS.....!! 20 minutes of my FURKING life i'll never get back.........C@NNNNNTTTS...!
 




KingstonSeagull

KingstonSeagull

New member
May 1, 2013
2,185
Shoreditch
sydney said:
the twitt i work with didn't get enough roof sheets for the job today , he also forgot the shade cloth all together for a greenhouse we were framing up , after taking stock on site i sent him back to the hardware shop (80km round trip).....i was ready for him and gave him a ring ...he was 15 minutes away so i decided to go to woolies to get a drink ...this is where the fun started , on approaching the check out it became evident there was a person with numerous issues (one of them being off his face ) attempting to get a dollar twenty refund for a packet of rizzlas he had bought....no receipt....he was being a proper din but nevertheless the staff humoured him for 5 minutes until i gave him 2 bucks and suggested he call it a day , the lady behind him then proceeded to ring up too large a bill on her debit card and then spent 5 minutes being embarrassed and dithering about which items to put back......now my turn to pay for my chicken , lettuce and mayo sandwich and drink ...$6.70 which i placed on the counter by the till......the girl looked at me blankly and appeared to be having some trouble.....i asked her if she was ok ......she said there's only $3.70 there , i replied that closer inspection would reveal that there was actually the correct fee for the transaction as they were , in fact , 3x $2 coins......FFS.....!! 20 minutes of my FURKING life i'll never get back.........C@NNNNNTTTS...!
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No idea what just happened.... :moo:
 




















wellquickwoody

wellquickwoody

Many More Voting Years
NSC Patron
Aug 10, 2007
13,912
Melbourne
FatSuperman said:
YOU!

Did you work in the head office at Cannons Health & Fitness about a decade ago? A very similar thing happened whilst I was there, someone went on holiday and had set some client-side rule up to move emails into folders and then forward to their Hotmail account. Their Hotmail account had reached it's 10mb limit, so an unreceived message was sent back from Microsoft, which was then moved and sent back to the Hotmail account. For your info, a fight between Cannons Health & Fitness mail server and the Microsoft Hotmail mail towers of doom lasts less than 10 seconds. Our mail server came crashing down, every time we got it up again it fell over before we could work out the issue. Was a painful Sunday evening, thanks for setting that rule up just before your flight, you bellcheese :)
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Not guilty.......of the Cannons Health and Fitness bit............the bellcheesery I am definitely guilty of :thumbsup:
 


dazzer6666

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
55,550
Burgess Hill
Guinness Boy said:
Nowhere near the same level but my boss just committed minor email bellcheesery. I handed in my notice last week and was told not to tell anyone until my client had been informed, which they still haven't as we're working on handover plans. Unfortunately he replied to one of my emails about this plan copying in one of the nosiest developers in the company. LITERALLY two minutes later I get an instant message from said developer which said "are you leaving then?" :facepalm:

Talking of notice what's the form here chaps. I've potentially got three months to serve. Obviously a true bell cheese would SWEEP DRAMATICALLY through the office, telling EVERYONE and making sure everyone knew how much the company would MISS them. I'm not doing that. But do you sit back and take it easy, giving your non-bellcheese colleagues more to do? Or try even harder in an effort to get everything professionally wrapped up, thus making you look like the kid who's trying too hard and also making everyone wonder why you're packing it in? The fact I'm on NSC at the moment should tell you my current approach.
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Sorry mate, would go for the 'ultimate professional' exit. Make them realise what they've lost, and not burn any bridges as you never know when paths might cross again....
 




Paul Reids Sock

Paul Reids Sock

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2004
4,458
Paul Reids boot
The Christmas music is back on and the guy opposite me is whistling along to it

I hate this time of year. Yesterday could have been a one off but here it is back on again. If you see reports of someone going on a rampage in an office in Marlow then it will be me.
 




Wrong-Direction

Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,638
Had to deal with a bunch of stressed out women in an office today, looked so stressful eating tea and biscuits all day whilst sniping at each other ffs

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk
 






happypig

happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
8,171
Eastbourne
Paul Reids Sock said:
The Christmas music is back on and the guy opposite me is whistling along to it

I hate this time of year. Yesterday could have been a one off but here it is back on again. If you see reports of someone going on a rampage in an office in Marlow then it will be me.
Click to expand...

You need to make up your own CD of nice christmas songs and play that. A search of Youtube for "Death Metal Christmas" throws up stuff like :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRgMk2v-n1Y
 


hans kraay fan club

hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,759
Chandlers Ford
My boss is off all week on holiday.
My most annoying engineer who phones in ALL the time to whine about nothing is off on holiday.
I sent Crisp Monster home at lunchtime on Monday, because she sounded like she had the bubonic plague and it was ****ing horrible. Not seen her since.
Noise Machine is so busy covering Crisps' work as well as her own, that she hasn't had time to sing*, or sit absent-mindedly rolling up balls of paper.
And I'm OFF on Friday to get down early for the Villa game.
If I wasn't so busy, this would be a REALLY good week.

*Plenty of self-important BUSTLING though, obviously.
 


C

clarkey

Well-known member
Jan 3, 2006
3,498
Had a strange situation in a 3 month notice period where my replacement was immediately available so started right away. I had 3 months of the CFO asking me for tennis/cricket football updates etc as it was fully expected for me to be sat on Internet all day.

In my new job I'm at one of our offices up North. One of the women is looking after a friends dog for the week, which has LITERALLY meant she hasn't had a minutes sleep. When probed for further detail as to why a dog was causing her to be sleepless, there was no reason. But spawned a horrendous mornings conversation around what's worse, having a dog or a baby.

This discussion was only halted by the sight of a RAINBOW. Never seen such a commotion. If you'd stood outside the building you would have thought you were hillsborough with all the iPhones out.

This led to one of the overweight members astutely observing 'where we can see 6 colours, remember a cat can see 40'. Told them I wasn't feeling well so went back to the hotel.
 




S

SWC

New member
Jun 2, 2016
8
I had to take a long term break from this thread before it became my own personal thread... Worry not, Bellcheesery is still alive at my office.

I shall start by again returning to the chubbster, who has continued to inform the office of the whale noises her enormous gut continues to make. However, she took it one step further today by having an in-depth conversation with her customer how, since her surgery, her stomach has become a lot more vocal, which I am pretty certain is not in the sales manual, nor did it seal the deal. I haven't the heart to tell her that the stomach isn't designed to process copious amounts of energy drinks or large amounts of ready meals, crisps and sweets.

The bellcheesery has been coming in thick and fast recently, mainly in the form of annoying and irritating questions.

To start with, I was greeted this week with "Do you want a cold?" followed up by, "I have been full of it this weekend and I can give you it if you like?" As if my response was going to be, "that will really sort my week out, thanks". This was then followed up a bit later in the day when an old colleague returned to the office, where the bellcheese shouted across the office floor "I will have to hug you from afar because I am full of cold".

Next, our office dog lover (luckily we will never be a dog friendly office!!!) was informing the office of one of their daily dog stories. Their little pooch took a liking to another dog on their evening walk, after speaking to the other dog's owner, they were relieved to find out that the other dog had been "spaded" (that was pronounced as written). Which only led to visualization of a dog having its unmentionables removed by a spade! I didn't have the heart to correct them.

There is also someone in the office who has a habit of communicating in a thick Cornish accent, whether it be a good morning or confirming details, it must be with this accent. Bearing in mind this individual has never been out of Sussex, nor has any ties to the West country and worst of all, is perfectly capable of speaking normally, they seem quite happy sounding like a huge moron (Disclaimer - I have no issues with the Cornish Accent or Cornish residents.

To finish off for this installment, we recently had a new member of staff begin in the office who has managed to earn themselves a good degree and a rather good position, but really isn't the full ticket. This individual walks in every morning and says "Hello" to ....... their desk! This may not qualify as bellcheesery, but it isn't said with even a hint of humour! It is a genuine greeting to their work station.

I feel I may not be cut out for this office work.....with other people
 


Bigtomfu

Bigtomfu

New member
Jul 25, 2003
4,416
Harrow
In a strange turn of bell cheesery today my boss actually told me that tomorrow rather than email to say im WFH because I dont feel great to email in the morning and say im WFH because 'I don't want to spread germs around the office'*

She qualified this by going on to say that as a business it's been noticed by some HR TOOL that we don't have as many registered sick days as we should and that's bad because we receive a working credit/rebate from our parent company on a certain number of staff sick days a year. Utter oddness all round.

*i've had man flu since Friday, on leave Monday and at a funeral yesterday only to return to the office today and feel like utter sh*te
 


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