Bed wetting: Any proven cure?

[Brighton TID]

It's like this. I'm plus 40, I support Brighton, have done for most of my 40 years. However, every night that I go to bed knowing that we still have no manager in place gives me nightmares about missing the boat and being left stranded on the quayside as the ferry departs full of quality football players never to return to these shores. It is at this stage that I p1ss myself and the wife has a moan the next morning that she smells of urine.

Can anybody help with this or should I just grow a pair and calm the sh1t down?

 

[Brownstuff]

Tony Adams used to wet the bed then he gave up alcohol

 

[Rugrat]

You know the answer!!

They're interviewing now. The candidates would have done a ton of research, know our strengths/weaknesses, ambitions, know who's departed etc etc and will also know who, or the sorts, they would want to get in subject to budget. I'd fully expect TB/PB to be asking these sorts of questions as well as understanding what budget (range) these candidates think they want/need in order to get us promoted.

I'm sure we're at the tail end of interviews/negotiations and confident that we're losing very little ground

 

[The Brighton Bear]

Turn over and avoid pissing over your wife.

 

[El Sid]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDhETFcgWTE&feature=kp

 

[lawros left foot]

You know the answer!!

They're interviewing now. The candidates would have done a ton of research, know our strengths/weaknesses, ambitions, know who's departed etc etc and will also know who, or the sorts, they would want to get in subject to budget. I'd fully expect TB/PB to be asking these sorts of questions as well as understanding what budget (range) these candidates think they want/need in order to get us promoted.

I'm sure we're at the tail end of interviews/negotiations and confident that we're losing very little ground

No, no, no, you're wrong, TB and PB haven't got a clue, they will get someone in who has never watched any football anywhere, who won't even know what a budget is, and then let the collected wisdom of NSC select and sign the players for next season. This is how you build a championship winning team, apparently

 

[withdeanwombat]

On no account go to bed.

Cured.

 

[DNB_Seagull]

Is this real?

 

[jackanada]

Piss on the wife in bed. Then get up have a wash and sleep on the sofa.
When the wife gets up complaining of being pissy deny all knowledge. Say she was rolling around a lot and you had to go to the sofa to get any sleep.
Repeat until she is convinced it is her. She may take up some fanny exercise to cure it with pleasant side effects.
Once we have a new manager just stop pissing on her.
Unless you like it.

 

[Taybha]

Does ya missus not suspect your just a filthy kinky git and not infact a worried Brighton supporter ?

 

[Kumquat]

Make her sleep in the wet patch.

 

[Brighton TID]

Piss on the wife in bed. Then get up have a wash and sleep on the sofa.
When the wife gets up complaining of being pissy deny all knowledge. Say she was rolling around a lot and you had to go to the sofa to get any sleep.
Repeat until she is convinced it is her. She may take up some fanny exercise to cure it with pleasant side effects.
Once we have a new manager just stop pissing on her.
Unless you like it.

Even if you have a wash, you can still stink of wee the next day, no matter how hard you scrub. It's like the urine is absorbed into your skin like a sponge. It can be embarrassing in work meetings. I blame Bloom for this (not really he's a ledge)

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

My other half's mate lives in Stornoway on The Isle of Lewis. Either her brother or cousin Colin MacIntyre IS The Mull Historical Society.

 

[Justice]

Piss on the wife in bed. Then get up have a wash and sleep on the sofa.
When the wife gets up complaining of being pissy deny all knowledge. Say she was rolling around a lot and you had to go to the sofa to get any sleep.
Repeat until she is convinced it is her. She may take up some fanny exercise to cure it with pleasant side effects.
Once we have a new manager just stop pissing on her.
Unless you like it.

Your one sick individual.

 

[MissGull]

Even if you have a wash, you can still stink of wee the next day, no matter how hard you scrub. It's like the urine is absorbed into your skin like a sponge. It can be embarrassing in work meetings. I blame Bloom for this (not really he's a ledge)

urine shouldn't actually smell. Maybe you are dehydrated, or have an infection.

 

[Taybha]

urine shouldn't actually smell. Maybe you are dehydrated, or have an infection.

Kinel ive been dehydrated for 52 years then

 

[GreersElbow]

Ziptie your dick, probably best at the bottom of the shaft as opposed to below the glans. Your missus might be impressed too.


Don't need to thank me, I'm just glad I can help.

 

[hart's shirt]

Is your wife saying "You're in" rather than "urine"?

 

[London Irish]

It's like this. I'm plus 40, I support Brighton, have done for most of my 40 years. However, every night that I go to bed knowing that we still have no manager in place gives me nightmares about missing the boat and being left stranded on the quayside as the ferry departs full of quality football players never to return to these shores. It is at this stage that I p1ss myself and the wife has a moan the next morning that she smells of urine.

Can anybody help with this or should I just grow a pair and calm the sh1t down?

Is it possible to truly enjoy football though without getting knickers in a twist or piss-soaked by your analogy?

 

[AlastairWatts]

Be careful: this goes from the bed to stumbling into the wardrobe and pissing there under the mistaken impression that it's the bathroom. I suspect that alcohol is involved here somehow - are you sinking a stiff one (drink I mean) before retiring? It may be that time will find a cure (when some other hapless foreign person is appointed manager or head coach or kit man or whatever) so I suggest exercise can be the only short term cure - a quick ten mile run before bedtime should drive all other worries from your head. Try and remember to run only five miles from your home, otherwise you'll end up bumming a lift to get home from some other hapless foreign person looking for work in Brighton.