[Football] Banter - just an excuse for otherwise socially unacceptable behaviour

[alfredmizen]

Come on don't be rude, its not my THOUGHTyou're not intelligent enough to spot good banter, probably why you become a soldier [emoji23]

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It’s “fault” by the way , and you had the front to comment on my intelligence

 

[Wrong-Direction]

View attachment 90418

[emoji23] haha at least plumbers aren't brainwashed into becoming mindless killing machines full of hate.

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[Bulldog]

In my experience, banter comes in two types.

Banter (1) A joke, intended to be funny to all including the victim. A bit of fun among mates where all understand that no insult. damage or humiliation is intended. My limited experience of the ex military guys I know would put their banter in this group.This banter can be bloody funny and inclusive as everyone in the group gets it and can give it, and would normally avoid comments that they know would be deeply offensive to someone.

Banter (2) The term used by a bully to pretend he/she is a nice guy just having a laugh, man up mate, don't take it personally, it's just a joke.. An offensive comment intended to insult, cause damage or humiliate. A term intended to exclude the victim from a group by highlighting their difference instead of including them thus making the bully feel superior. A comment intentionally pointing to things that the bully knows will be deeply offensive to the intended victim.

 

[alfredmizen]

[emoji23] haha at least plumbers aren't brainwashed into becoming mindless killing machines full of hate.

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You’d have to have a brain for them to wash

 

[Hastings gull]

In my experience, banter comes in two types.

Banter (1) A joke, intended to be funny to all including the victim. A bit of fun among mates where all understand that no insult. damage or humiliation is intended. My limited experience of the ex military guys I know would put their banter in this group.This banter can be bloody funny and inclusive as everyone in the group gets it and can give it, and would normally avoid comments that they know would be deeply offensive to someone.

Banter (2) The term used by a bully to pretend he/she is a nice guy just having a laugh, man up mate, don't take it personally, it's just a joke.. An offensive comment intended to insult, cause damage or humiliate. A term intended to exclude the victim from a group by highlighting their difference instead of including them thus making the bully feel superior. A comment intentionally pointing to things that the bully knows will be deeply offensive to the intended victim.

Absolutely. Good post and definitions that most folk would surely subscribe to. Sadly, however, a small minority is determined to see well-intentioned Banter 1 as Banter 2.

 

[spring hall convert]

This just says it all about sad folk of your ilk, who are so looking to be offended at anything that they miss totally what was being written. I did not doubt the legitimacy about anything - mcT indulged in banter, which he knows would have been regarded as such most of the time. Sadly, one of his staff took it the wrong way and he has since adjusted what he says accordingly. Neither he nor his employee are to blame, given your insistence that someone is to blame -he was just poking what he thought was innocent fun (which he has since regretted) and she is clearly a very sensitive soul, who does not react as many others would. This happens. Get over it .

He was sharing the story because he lost a good member of staff. I still fail to see what good an arbitrary judgement of her sensitivity is to anyone, she's still left.

By saying what you said you evidenced that you had totally missed the point of that story being shared. And also 'Took it the wrong way' is blame. 'Very sensitive' is blame. It is you who is looking to blame.

The point is that blame is irrelevant. Look at the end result - was it the desired outcome for McT? Could it very easily have been different?

Your postings here drip with privilege. You are the arbiter of how sensitive someone can be and even in a workplace it is their problem if they don't like jokes being made at their expense because you deem them to be innocuous.

I'm not even anti-banter. There's a place for it in some environments, I just though this story was a good illustration of why you need to considerate choosing those environments.

 

[spring hall convert]

Absolutely. Good post and definitions that most folk would surely subscribe to. Sadly, however, a small minority is determined to see well-intentioned Banter 1 as Banter 2.

I just draw your attention to 'all understand there is no insult,' in Banter 1. Not 'Hastings Gull deems there is no insult.'

 

[Rogero]

If I had a mate or work colleague that had been on business to Nigeria during the Ebola virus crisis, and I remarked to him " You best not have brought back any of that ebola with you" I highly doubt any offence would be taken.

The fact that this is classed as a racist joke is pathetic in my view. Yes, making that joke to Aluko in relation to her family was not wise, it isn't racist. The FA should have given him a verbal warning in relation to silly comments and that might have nipped it in the bud.

Fully agree. The worlds gone mad. What else did he say?

 

[Pretty Plnk Fairy]

Fully agree. The worlds gone mad. What else did he say?

Milk and two sugar’s love
regards
DR